Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more grammatically consistent in tense and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two supporting details with linking words. Remove filler words (umm).

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I liked running around and playing sports there, but my parents were often busy, so I didn't get to visit the park very often.

Sugestão: Be concise and avoid repeating the same point. Use linking words to structure reasons and give a brief example. Replace vague phrases with precise vocabulary ('humid' not 'too much humid').

Exemplo: Yes, I still like parks, but I avoid them in summer because it's very humid and there are many mosquitoes. For example, last July I left a picnic early because the insects made it uncomfortable.

Sugestão: Answer directly then support with one specific reason. Use linking words to connect points and correct small phrasing issues ('park level situation' -> 'park availability').

Exemplo: No, I wouldn't mind more parks because I already have plenty nearby. For example, my city has numerous parks, rivers and mountains, so I am satisfied with the current availability of green spaces.

Sugestão: Give a direct answer and add one specific detail about the park you mentioned. Correct phrasing ('I don't have much knowledge', 'I hope I can visit').

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to visit Central Park in New York. It's famous for its size and attractions, and I hope to walk around its lakes and gardens someday.

× I'd love to go to the parks when I was a child to do any sort of activities.

✓ I loved going to parks when I was a child to do all sorts of activities.

Mixed tense and modal issue: 'I'd love to go' (would/conditional) is inappropriate for a past habitual statement. Use simple past 'I loved' or 'I used to love' for past routines. Also 'the parks' is unnecessary; use 'parks'. Replace 'any sort of activities' with 'all sorts of activities' for natural phrasing.

× I was a really not active child and I loved to run around, play sports, but my parents didn't have much free time to do so I didn't go, umm, I didn't go often to the park.

✓ I was really not an active child, and I loved to run around and play sports, but my parents didn't have much free time, so I didn't go to the park often.

Multiple errors: article and word order: 'a really not active child' should be 'really not an active child' or 'not a very active child.' Use parallel verbs with 'and' between 'run around' and 'play sports.' Comma splice fixed by adding a comma before 'so' and moving 'often' after 'park' for natural word order.

× I do like going to the parks now, but not in the summertime or when it's too much humid because I don't like insects and I hate the sounds of mosquitoes.

✓ I do like going to parks now, but not in the summertime or when it's too humid because I don't like insects and I hate the sound of mosquitoes.

'the parks' is unnecessary—use 'parks' for generalization. 'Too much humid' is ungrammatical; use 'too humid.' 'The sounds of mosquitoes' is slightly awkward; use 'the sound of mosquitoes' or 'mosquitoes' buzzing.'

× And you know, going to the park with this kind of weather is really hard if you're someone that doesn't like insects.

✓ Going to the park in this kind of weather is really hard if you don't like insects.

Informal filler 'And you know' can be omitted for concision. Use 'in this kind of weather' rather than 'with.' 'Someone that' should be 'someone who' or simpler 'if you don't like insects.' This corrects pronoun usage and makes the sentence more natural.

× So I do love going to the park, but not in summer time.

✓ So I do love going to the park, but not in summer.

'Summer time' is commonly one word 'summertime' or simply 'summer.' Both are acceptable, but 'in summer' is more natural. The rest is fine.

× I currently live in Chencharu in South Korea and there are plenty of parks in this city.

✓ I currently live in Chencharu, South Korea, and there are plenty of parks in the city.

Use commas around the country name as a place appositive: 'Chencharu, South Korea.' 'In this city' is acceptable but 'in the city' flows better after specifying the city.

× Also, there are many rivers and nature around me.

✓ Also, there are many rivers and natural areas around me.

'Nature around me' is vague and awkward. Use 'natural areas' or 'natural surroundings' to be clearer and grammatically natural.

× There are many mountains so I'm pretty satisfied with the park level situation.

✓ There are many mountains, so I'm pretty satisfied with the availability of parks.

'Park level situation' is unidiomatic. Replace with 'availability of parks' or 'park situation.' Add a comma before 'so.'

× I'm not sure because I don't have much of A knowledge about parks around the world, but if I remember well there is a really big and famous park in New York, so I wish I can visit that someday.

✓ I'm not sure because I don't have much knowledge about parks around the world, but if I remember correctly there is a really big and famous park in New York, so I hope I can visit it someday.

Errors: 'much of A knowledge' should be 'much knowledge' or 'a lot of knowledge.' 'If I remember well' is better as 'if I remember correctly.' 'I wish I can' mixes wish with ability; use 'I hope I can' or 'I wish I could.' Use 'visit it' rather than 'visit that.'