Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be concise, correct grammar, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus 1–2 supporting details. Avoid repetition and use correct tense and articles. Use linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) correctly and keep sentences short (max 5).

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My family often visited parks during summer mornings because there were fewer people then, so my siblings and I could play on the swings without waiting. Those visits were my favorite part of the holidays.

Sugestão: Start with a direct answer, then give clear reasons with correct verb forms and vocabulary. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like “disengaging tedious.” Use linking words (for example, “because” and “so”) to connect idea and provide one specific example of an activity you do there.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often meet friends there during study breaks because walking or playing badminton helps me clear my mind, so I return to studying feeling more focused.

Sugestão: Give a clear direct answer and support it with a specific reason. Avoid hesitations and unclear phrases; use precise vocabulary such as “outdoor activities” and “reduce screen time.” Keep the response to 2–3 sentences and use a linking word like “because” or “as a result.”

Exemplo: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide space for outdoor activities. More parks could encourage people, especially children, to spend less time on screens and be more active.

Sugestão: Answer directly then give a specific plan or preference. Use formal contractions and avoid fillers like “uh.” Correct prepositions (visit Disneyland, not visit to). Explain why that park appeals to you with one concrete detail.

Exemplo: I don't have detailed plans, but I would like to visit Disneyland in the near future because our national parks lack the themed play equipment and attractions that Disneyland offers, so it would be a new and exciting experience.

× ...going to the park was the best activities that I can do during summer break.

✓ ...going to the park was the best activity that I could do during summer break.

'Activities' is plural but the subject is 'the best', which should modify a singular noun 'activity'. Also 'can' should match the past context 'was' so 'could' is appropriate. Suggestion: use singular nouns with 'the best' and keep verb tense consistent with past time (use 'could').

× So when I was early teens, my mom always take me to the park in earlier in the morning because we don't have to.

✓ So when I was in my early teens, my mom always took me to the park early in the morning because we did not have to wait in line to play.

'Take' should be past tense 'took' for third-person singular in a past context. 'Early teens' needs the preposition 'in' and 'early in the morning' is the correct phrase. 'Don't have to' conflicts with past time; use 'did not have to'. Also the original sentence omitted 'wait' and 'in' for 'line', corrected to 'wait in line'. Suggestion: match verb tense to past, include correct prepositions and necessary verbs for clarity.

× We don't have to line to play on.

✓ We did not have to wait in line to play.

The original is missing the verb 'wait' and uses 'line' incorrectly as a verb. Also tense should be past ('did not have') to match context. Suggestion: include the correct verb and use appropriate tense and word order.

× ...even though I turned 17, I still enjoy playing in the park with my friends especially during my break because it is helped me to remind myself and after studying studying too much I need to clear my mind because of disengaging tedious.

✓ Even though I turned 17, I still enjoy playing in the park with my friends, especially during breaks, because it helps me relax and clear my mind after studying too much.

'It is helped me' is incorrect: use present simple 'it helps me' for a general habit. 'Studying studying' is a repetition and should be single 'studying'. 'Need to clear my mind because of disengaging tedious' is ungrammatical; replace with 'clear my mind after studying too much' or 'to disengage from tedious study'. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual effects, remove repetitions, and use clear phrasing for 'relax/clear my mind'.

× I would say definitely yes, because, uh, doing some kind of activities in the outdoor may, it is parent, uh, screen hours because nowadays a lot of people spending their uh, crucial time for like playing video games and computers.

✓ I would definitely say yes, because doing outdoor activities can reduce screen time; nowadays many people spend a lot of their free time playing video games or using computers.

'May, it is parent' is unclear and incorrect. Use modal 'can' to express possibility/capability. 'Spending' should be 'spend' to match present simple general statement. 'Crucial time for like' is awkward; replace with 'a lot of their free time'. Suggestion: use clear modal verbs (can/may) and present simple for general truths; simplify expressions for clarity.

× To be honest, I don't have exact plan for it, but near future I wanna, I want to visit to Disneyland because in my country we don't have enough, uh, enough, uh, park toys in our national parks.

✓ To be honest, I don't have an exact plan, but in the near future I want to visit Disneyland because in my country we don't have enough playground equipment in our national parks.

'Don't have exact plan' needs the article 'an'. 'Near future' requires 'in the'. 'Wanna' is informal; use 'want to'. 'Visit to Disneyland' should be 'visit Disneyland' (no 'to' after 'visit'). 'Park toys' is informal/unclear; use 'playground equipment'. Suggestion: include appropriate articles, avoid colloquial contractions in formal speech, and use correct verb patterns after 'visit'.