Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more fluent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, umm), correct grammar (use past tense consistently), and give one or two specific supporting details. Keep it under five sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played ball games with my friends there after school, especially a game we called 'hoodie ball.' It was a safe place to run around and we usually stayed until sunset.

Sugestão: Make sentences grammatical and coherent. Begin with a direct answer, then explain why you go and give a clear example. Avoid unclear phrases ("glue and glitter environments") and broken sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks sometimes. I like to relax there when I'm stressed because the quiet greenery helps me unwind after work. For example, I often sit on a bench and read for half an hour.

Sugestão: Answer directly and organize reasons clearly. Avoid repetition and fillers. State why more parks are needed and give a specific concern or example (safety, variety of spaces). Use correct vocabulary (children, playgrounds).

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because current playgrounds are overcrowded. For instance, I often see many children playing on the same equipment, which can be unsafe. More parks would provide safer and more diverse spaces for families.

Sugestão: Be clear and correct with vocabulary and tenses. Start with a direct answer (no specific park), then state a clear future plan using 'will' or 'would like to.' Reduce repetition and provide one concrete example of an activity.

Exemplo: I don't have a particular park in mind, but in the future I'd like to visit parks to play with my children. For example, I imagine teaching them how to play football and taking walks together every weekend.

× Yes, I daily, I really liked to go to parks uh, when I was a child, umm, especially uh, to play hoodie balls with my friends.

✓ Yes, I really liked going to parks when I was a child, especially to play hide-and-seek with my friends.

Original has incorrect adverb placement ('daily' incorrectly placed) and awkward verb forms. 'Like to go' is acceptable but 'liked going' is more natural for past habitual actions (present participle). Also 'hoodie balls' is likely incorrect vocabulary; replaced with 'hide-and-seek' as a plausible childhood game. Place adverbs before the main verb or after the subject for clarity: 'I really liked going.' Use the correct game name or clarify vocabulary.

× Umm, after school I want to run to land my home and then uh, play uh, with my friends.

✓ After school I would run home and then play with my friends.

The student used present tense 'want' instead of past habitual. Use past habitual 'would' or 'used to' for repeated past actions: 'I would run home' or 'I used to run home.' 'Run to land my home' is incorrect phrasing; use 'run home.' Remove filler words for clarity.

× I'll be sometimes in mood to chill in the park, which is not for a playground, just with some glue and some glitter environments.

✓ Sometimes I'm in the mood to chill in the park; it's not a playground, just a quiet, green environment.

Incorrect future modal 'I'll be sometimes in mood' should be present 'Sometimes I'm in the mood' for current preference. 'Which is not for a playground' is awkward — use a clause: 'it's not a playground.' 'Glue and glitter environments' makes no sense; replaced with 'quiet, green environment' to convey a relaxing park. Ensure adjective order and word choice are correct.

× When I get stressed. It's easy way to relieve my stress when I usually when I work.

✓ When I get stressed, it's an easy way to relieve my stress, especially when I am working.

Original had sentence fragments and repetitive phrasing. Combine into one sentence with proper punctuation: 'When I get stressed, it's an easy way to relieve my stress.' Use present continuous 'I am working' or 'when I work' depending on meaning. Include the article 'an' before 'easy way.' Remove duplicate 'when'.

× Well, umm, recently there's a list, city, uh, list, uh, parks, uh, for children's to play, uh, with their, uh, uh, friends.

✓ Well, recently the city published a list of parks for children to play with their friends.

Multiple article and word-order errors. Use 'the city' for specific city and 'a list of parks' not 'list, city, list.' 'Children's to play' is incorrect; use 'parks for children to play.' Remove filler sounds and unnecessary commas. Ensure noun phrases are properly ordered: 'a list of parks for children to play with their friends.'

× Uh, sometimes I could see their, uh, some of them, uh, play in the role. It might be dangerous and, uh, for them.

✓ Sometimes I could see some of them playing roughly; it might be dangerous for them.

Original pronoun and noun phrases are confused: 'their, some of them' unclear. Use 'some of them' and gerund 'playing' after a perception verb: 'see some of them playing.' 'Play in the role' is unclear; replaced with 'playing roughly' or appropriate description. Remove extra commas and 'and, uh, for them.'

× Actually, I do not have any specific bags I'd like to go to in the near future.

✓ Actually, I do not have any specific parks I'd like to go to in the near future.

Word choice error: 'bags' should be 'parks.' Articles are fine but noun must match context. 'Any specific parks' is correct for intentions about places.

× In the future though, I have something to do in the parks.

✓ In the future, though, I would like to do something in the parks.

Tense and modality: 'I have something to do' suggests current obligation; use 'I would like to do' or 'I want to do' to express future intention. Also 'in the parks' is acceptable but 'at the parks' can be used depending on nuance.

× It'll it is there it is playing with my kids.

✓ It will be playing with my kids there.

Redundant and mixed verb forms 'It'll it is there it is' are incorrect. Use single clear future tense: 'It will be playing with my kids there' or better: 'That will be playing with my kids there' — though 'It will be' is awkward; context better as 'That will be playing with my kids' or 'I will be playing with my kids there.' Use consistent tense and remove repetition.

× In the future when I have when I will have the kids, it will it will be the my dream to play some sports with them.

✓ In the future, when I have children, it will be my dream to play sports with them.

Redundant phrases 'when I have when I will have' should be simplified to 'when I have' or 'when I will have' (use simple present after 'when' for future meaning: 'when I have children'). Remove duplicate 'it will it will' and incorrect article 'the my' should be 'my.' Use 'children' rather than 'the kids' for general statement and 'play sports with them' for correct phrasing.