Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more direct: start with a clear topic sentence answering the question (Yes/No and short reason). Then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid overlong or slightly off-topic statements and correct small grammar issues (e.g., "there aren't a lot of parks here" and "some villages do").

Exemplo: Yes, I liked going to parks occasionally when I was a child because some nearby villages had small parks. However, I didn’t have regular access since I lived in the city, so I mostly played at home or in school yards.

Sugestão: Answer directly to the question (Yes/No) and give a concise reason. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., 'but' or 'however') and avoid repeating obvious info like your exact age unless relevant. Mention frequency or conditions when you do go to parks to add specificity.

Exemplo: I still enjoy going to parks, but I rarely have time because I’m a busy college student. However, I try to visit a nearby park at least once a month when I need a short break from studying.

Sugestão: Good clear answer and reason. Improve by adding a specific benefit or example of how more parks would help (health, community activities) and use varied linking words to show cause and effect (e.g., 'because', 'for example').

Exemplo: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they would provide a pleasant change of scenery and cleaner air. For example, neighborhood parks could give residents a place to exercise, relax, and meet friends, which would improve overall wellbeing.

Sugestão: Be concise and offer a specific possibility to enrich the answer. Use linking words (e.g., 'however', 'if') and give an example of the type of park you would like to visit to make it more vivid.

Exemplo: I don’t have a particular park in mind right now. However, if a large urban park with walking trails and trees is built near my city, I would definitely like to visit it for weekend walks and picnics.

× I live in the Philippines so there's not a lot of parks in here, but some villages have.

✓ I live in the Philippines so there aren't a lot of parks here, but some villages do.

Errors: 'there's' is singular contraction (there is) but refers to plural 'parks' so use 'there are not' (aren't). 'a lot of parks' after 'not' requires plural agreement with 'are'. 'in here' is redundant/awkward; use 'here'. 'some villages have' is incomplete; use auxiliary 'do' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: match subject-verb number, avoid redundant prepositions, and include auxiliary verbs when replacing previously-mentioned verbs.

× However, I don't live in a village so I don't have the same access to the parks that some countries do.

✓ However, I don't live in a village so I don't have the same access to parks that some places do.

Using 'the parks' implies specific parks known to speaker; general meaning requires no article. 'Some countries do' is inconsistent because access to parks varies more by area than by country; 'places' is more natural. Suggestion: remove unnecessary definite article when speaking generally and use consistent referents.

× I'm an adult now who is 21 years old.

✓ I'm an adult now; I am 21 years old.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable but slightly awkward: 'an adult now who is 21 years old' is a restrictive relative clause unnecessary here. Better to split into two simpler present-tense statements. Suggestion: use natural present-tense constructions and avoid unnecessary relative clauses.

× I am in college so I don't have the time to go to parks as I am busy with my school and study.

✓ I am in college so I don't have time to go to parks because I am busy with my schoolwork and studying.

'Have the time' is acceptable but 'have time' is more natural. 'Busy with my school and study' is awkward: use 'schoolwork' (noun) and 'studying' (verb -ing). The -ing form 'studying' correctly expresses ongoing activity. Suggestion: prefer 'busy with' plus noun or use gerund for activity.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city since a change of scenery would be nice.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city, since a change of scenery would be nice.

Original sentence is correct except missing comma for clarity. No article issue here but keeping for consistency: 'parks' correctly plural without article. Suggestion: use a comma before conjunction 'since' when giving a reason for clarity.

× Since my city has a lot of buildings, I would like to see more trees around me.

✓ Since my city has a lot of buildings, I would like to see more trees around.

'Around me' is not wrong but 'around' is more natural when referring to the surroundings of the city. Suggestion: prefer concise prepositional phrases; use 'around' to indicate general surroundings.

× No, I do not know any parks that I want to go to in the future, but if there is one that will be built near my city, I would like to go there.

✓ No, I do not know any parks that I want to visit in the future, but if one is built near my city, I would like to go there.

'There is one that will be built' is wordy; 'if one is built' uses passive concisely. 'Want to go to' is acceptable but 'want to visit' is more natural. 'Any parks that I want to go to in the future' is wordy; simplify. Suggestion: use concise passive structures and prefer 'visit' for places.