Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: 문장이 매우 산만하고 반복이 많습니다. 간단하고 명확한 주제 문장으로 시작한 뒤, 한두 개의 구체적 세부사항을 연결어(예: because, where, and)로 자연스럽게 이어주세요. 시제 일치와 동사 형태(예: ‘used to play’, ‘played’)를 바로잡고 불필요한 반복을 제거하세요. 예: 주제문 → 활동 설명 → 이유 또는 감정으로 구성 (최대 3–4문장).

Exemplo: Yes, I did. As a child I used to play in the neighborhood park with my friends because it had swings and a small pond. We often raced on the grass and sometimes flew kites, so those days were fun and memorable.

Sugestão: 의미는 전달되지만 반복이 많고 문법(특히 관사·수량 표현)과 유창성이 부족합니다. 간결한 주제문으로 시작한 뒤 이유(예: lack of time)와 빈도/대체활동을 연결어로 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 중복을 줄이고 ‘go to the park’, ‘don’t have much time’ 같은 자연스러운 표현을 사용하세요.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but I don't have much free time these days. Because of work and study, I only visit a park once or twice a month, usually for a short walk to relax.

Sugestão: 의견은 제시되었으나 논리 전개와 어휘 선택이 부정확합니다. ‘Yes’ 뒤에 즉시 이유를 제시하고, ‘because’ 같은 연결어로 근거를 설명하세요. ‘mold the parks’는 부자연스러우니 ‘create more parks’ 또는 ‘improve park facilities’로 바꾸세요. 구체적인 제안(예: 어린이 놀이터 확대, 녹지 확대)을 포함하면 좋습니다.

Exemplo: Yes, I would. I think our city needs more parks because the number of young families has declined and public green spaces are shrinking. For example, the city could convert vacant lots into playgrounds and plant more trees to make neighborhoods more family-friendly.

Sugestão: 대답이 모호하고 단어 선택이 어색합니다(예: ‘rebels’는 문맥에 맞지 않음). 특정 공원의 특징을 구체적으로 설명하고 이유(동물, 산책로, 시설 등)를 연결어로 덧붙이세요. 문장 구조를 정리하고 불필요한 중복을 제거하면 더 명확해집니다.

Exemplo: Yes, I'd like to visit Central Park because it has a large lake, many walking paths and a small wildlife area. I think it would be a great place to relax, see birds and enjoy a peaceful walk.

× Yes, I like that when I was young.

✓ Yes, I liked that when I was young.

The sentence mixes present tense 'like' with past time reference 'when I was young'. Use past tense 'liked' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: shift the verb to past tense when describing past preferences (I liked...).

× I like to I love I love to playing with my friends in parks with wearing a in line or I love to playing with friends 2 slice, slice the slice.

✓ I loved playing with my friends in parks, wearing a line (or kite) and playing games together.

This sentence contains multiple problems: incorrect infinitive and -ing forms and unclear phrases. Use 'loved playing' or 'liked playing' for past habits. After verbs like 'love' or 'like', use the gerund 'playing' for general activities. Remove repeated words and replace unclear fragments with clear nouns (e.g., kite, games). Keep consistent tense and simple structure. Note: original had many unclear fragments; revise content for clarity and use 'playing' after like/love.

× Yes, I like to going to parks now, but I don't have many of time.

✓ Yes, I like going to parks now, but I don't have much time.

Use the gerund 'going' after 'like' for general preferences. Also use the uncountable quantifier 'much' with 'time' instead of 'many of time'. Remove the unnecessary 'of'.

× I don't have much of time.

✓ I don't have much time.

'Time' is uncountable, so use 'much' directly with it; do not include 'of'. The phrase should be 'much time' not 'much of time'. (This repeats the same issue as previous sentence.)

× So, uh, many, I don't spend much of time to go to the park.

✓ So I don't spend much time going to the park.

Use 'much time' (no 'of') and the gerund 'going' after 'spend time'. The structure 'spend time to go' is incorrect; use 'spend time doing something'. Remove filler words.

× Uh, but I like to play, I like to go into the parks.

✓ But I like to play; I like going to parks.

Use parallel forms: 'like going to parks' or 'like to play'. Prefer 'going to parks' not 'go into the parks' (which suggests entering buildings). Use gerund for general preference and plural 'parks' without 'the' when speaking generally.

× Yes, I like to. Yes, I like that.

✓ Yes, I do. Yes, I like that.

Use 'do' as a short answer for general present tense preference: 'Yes, I do.' Alternatively, 'Yes, I like that.' is fine. Avoid 'I like to' alone because it seems incomplete; pair 'like to' with an action or use 'I like that'.

× Now our city population of young age is decreased, so the park is also decreased.

✓ Now the number of young people in our city has decreased, so the number of parks has also decreased.

'Population of young age' is awkward; use 'the number of young people'. 'Is decreased' is passive and incorrect here; use active 'has decreased'. Parallelize the second clause with 'the number of parks has also decreased.' Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct verb form (present perfect for change over time).

× I think that I want to mold the parks.

✓ I think that I want to improve or redesign the parks.

'Mold the parks' is unnatural in English. Use clearer verbs like 'improve' or 'redesign' depending on meaning. Ensure verb choice matches intended idea. Maintain infinitive form 'to improve' after 'want'.

× Yes, I think the Central Park is that umm, there is there umm many animals and rebels to show.

✓ Yes, I think Central Park has many animals and exhibits to see.

Avoid the awkward 'is that there is there'. Use 'has' to indicate possession. 'Rebels' is incorrect in context; likely meant 'reptiles' or 'exhibits' — choose 'exhibits' here for clarity. Use 'to see' rather than 'to show'.

× So you can you can relax in the park.

✓ So you can relax in the park.

Remove duplicated words. 'Relax in the park' is correct preposition use. Simple cleanup of repetition.