Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be concise and complete your sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid trailing off and unnecessary words. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g. "grew up with the habit of" → "got into the habit of"; finish the final clause).

Exemplo: Yes, I did. We lived in a house facing a large park, so I got into the habit of going there almost every afternoon to play with friends and ride my bike. Those visits helped me make friends and burn off energy after school.

Sugestão: Good content and clear opinion. To improve, combine ideas using linking words and be slightly more specific about activities and reasons. Avoid vague phrases like "contemplate my life" without brief context. Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially in winter, because the quiet atmosphere helps me relax. For example, I often sit on a bench to watch birds and read a book, which helps me clear my mind after a busy week.

Sugestão: Give a direct topic sentence, then support it with a concise reason and one example. Avoid repetitive phrases and soften absolute words like "each and every." Use linking words such as "because" or "for example" to connect ideas smoothly.

Exemplo: Not really – I think there are already enough parks in my city because most neighborhoods have about three or four small parks. For example, in my area I can walk to a park within five minutes, so adding more would bring little benefit.

Sugestão: Avoid repetition and unclear expressions. Start with a direct reply, then give a specific reason and one concrete detail about the park. Replace vague phrases like "resembles my soul" with clearer descriptions of what appeals to you (e.g. scenery, atmosphere).

Exemplo: Yes, I would love to visit a park in Edinburgh, such as Holyrood Park, because I admire its dramatic hills and peaceful atmosphere. I think walking there in cool, misty weather would be calming and inspiring.

× We used to live in a house which had a huge park in front of it and therefore I grew with the habit of going to the park almost every day in the afternoon, playing with my.

✓ We used to live in a house that had a huge park in front of it, so I grew up with the habit of going to the park almost every afternoon to play.

The sentence has multiple structure issues: incorrect relative pronoun choice 'which' is acceptable but 'that' is more natural here; 'therefore' is formal and awkward mid-sentence, 'so' fits conversational tone; 'grew with the habit' is incorrect collocation — correct phrase is 'grew up with the habit' or 'developed the habit'; 'almost every day in the afternoon' is repetitive, 'almost every afternoon' is concise; 'playing with my.' is incomplete and missing object and final verb form. Suggestion: simplify clauses, use 'grew up with' or 'developed', and complete the final phrase ('to play' or 'to play with my friends').

× I do, specifically in winter. During winter I enjoy sitting on the pitch, mesmerized by the views to contemplate my life and observe the birds and cats. It gives me time to relax and chill.

✓ I do, especially in winter. During winter I enjoy sitting on the grass, mesmerized by the view, contemplating my life and observing the birds and cats. It gives me time to relax and chill.

Minor word choice and tense-consistency issues: 'specifically' is odd here; 'especially' is more natural. 'Pitch' often means sports field; 'grass' or 'park bench' may be clearer. 'Mesmerized by the views to contemplate' mixes participle use — use 'mesmerized by the view, contemplating my life' to keep parallel gerunds. Use 'observing' to match 'contemplating'. These keep present-tense habitual action consistent. Suggestion: maintain parallel -ing forms and natural vocabulary ('view' singular, 'observing').

× Well, I believe we already have quite enough number of parks in my city because each and every neighborhood has three to four parks approximately.

✓ Well, I believe we already have a sufficient number of parks in my city because each neighborhood has about three to four parks.

'Quite enough number of' is unidiomatic; use 'a sufficient number of' or 'enough parks'. 'Each and every' is redundant — 'each' is enough. 'Approximately' should follow the number or be replaced by 'about'. Suggestion: use natural quantifiers and concise phrases: 'a sufficient number of' or 'enough parks', and place 'about' before the number.

× I do. I definitely would love visiting visiting a park in Edinburgh because I believe that city re resembles my soul and the weather there is so calming and relaxing so that experience would heal me.

✓ I do. I would definitely love visiting a park in Edinburgh because I believe that city resembles my soul and the weather there is so calming and relaxing that the experience would heal me.

Mistakes include duplicate word 'visiting visiting' (typo), awkward modal placement 'I definitely would love' — 'I would definitely love' is natural. 'That city re resembles' contains typo 're' and duplicated 'resembles' form; use single 'resembles'. The clause 'so that experience would heal me' needs 'that' before 'the experience' for clarity: 'so... that the experience would heal me' or use 'and the experience would heal me.' Also keep gerund 'visiting' correctly. Suggestion: remove duplicate words, correct typos, and structure the 'so... that' clause properly.