Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm, to, repeated words), and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Keep it under five sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My mother often took me there because there were many other children to play with, and we enjoyed spending time together. For example, I remember playing on the swings every Saturday, which made those days special.

Sugestão: Begin with a clear topic sentence, reduce repetition, correct grammar (e.g., 'less stressed' or 'reduce stress'), and add a concrete example or reason with a linking word. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful and help me relax. For instance, after a busy workday I often walk in a nearby park to clear my mind and reduce stress.

Sugestão: Answer directly and use correct conditional grammar: 'If I were a politician...' Remove repetitions and use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'elderly' instead of 'old ones') and a linking word to explain benefits. Keep it within three sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, if I were a policymaker I would create more parks in the city because children would have safe places to play and elderly people could stroll for exercise. Moreover, parks improve public health and community interaction.

Sugestão: Start with a clear statement and provide a specific reason or example. Avoid vague phrases and improve grammar (e.g., 'I've seen them on TV' and 'mini outdoor gyms'). Use linking words to connect ideas and stay within three sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to visit parks in South Korea because many of them have outdoor exercise equipment and well-maintained paths. For example, I have seen on TV how small gyms are installed in parks, which encourages people of all ages to be active.

× Yes, before when on my childhood days, umm, my mother used to, to fetch me going to the park.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, my mother used to take me to the park.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and unnecessary words ('before', 'on my childhood days', 'to, to', 'fetch me going'). This is a sentence structure error because the elements are misplaced and redundant. Suggestion: use a clear subject + past-time clause + past habitual verb: 'when I was a child' + 'my mother used to take me to the park.' Replace 'fetch me' with 'take me' and remove extra words.

× Umm, because there are a lot of kids and it's very umm, meaningful on our part, both mother and the son.

✓ There were a lot of children, and it was very meaningful for both my mother and me.

The sentence uses incorrect pronouns and prepositions: 'kids' is informal but acceptable; more importantly 'on our part, both mother and the son' is awkward and ungrammatical. This fits incorrect use of pronouns and sentence structure. Use 'children' and the correct object pronoun 'me' after 'both my mother and'. Also match past tense ('were', 'was') to the time frame.

× Of course, going to the park is very peaceful and calm and especially nowadays that in our age right now, 40 years of age at work, we have very stressful environments.

✓ Of course, going to the park is very peaceful and calm, and especially now, at our age of around 40 and with work, we have very stressful environments.

The original mixes awkward phrases ('nowadays that in our age right now, 40 years of age at work') and ungrammatical clause structure. This is a present tense / sentence structure issue. Suggestion: simplify to 'especially now' and use 'at our age of around 40' to convey meaning. Ensure verb forms remain present simple for general statements.

× So going to the park makes us less stress.

✓ So going to the park makes us less stressed.

'Less stress' is an incorrect collocation; the appropriate adjective is 'less stressed' or the noun phrase 'reduces our stress.' This is an incorrect use of quantifiers/collocations. Suggestion: use 'less stressed' or 'reduces our stress' to be grammatically correct.

× If I was a person to make parts or politicians, I would suggest to to develop more parks in our city because so the kids will will go there play and also to the to the old ones they can stroll around for their Wellness.

✓ If I were a policymaker or politician, I would suggest developing more parks in our city so that children can go there to play, and older people can stroll for their well-being.

This sentence has several errors: wrong conditional form ('If I was' should be 'If I were' for unreal present), wrong word choices ('person to make parts' unclear), duplicated words ('to to', 'will will'), incorrect infinitive use ('suggest to develop' should be 'suggest developing' or 'suggest that we develop'), and awkward phrasing ('old ones', 'Wellness'). These are conditional tense and sentence structure errors. Suggestion: use 'If I were a policymaker or politician' and 'I would suggest developing more parks so that children can play and older people can stroll for their well-being.'

× Yes, in the future I would go to parks like in Korea.

✓ Yes, in the future I would like to go to parks in Korea.

The original uses 'would go' which can be used but sounds odd without 'like' for desire; here the intended meaning is a future desire. This is a future tense usage issue. Suggestion: use 'would like to go' to express a future wish.

× There are a lot of parks in Korea.

✓ There are many parks in Korea.

While not strictly ungrammatical, 'a lot of' is informal; recommending 'many' is more natural in a test response. This is a sentence structure / register suggestion to improve formality.

× I've seen these things in televisions and almost every corner because they put gyms, mini gyms in Korea Park.

✓ I've seen them on television and in almost every corner because they put small outdoor gyms in Korean parks.

Problems: 'these things' vague, 'televisions' should be 'television' or 'on television', 'they put gyms, mini gyms in Korea Park' has wrong word order and singular/plural issues. This is sentence structure and singular/plural issues. Suggest using specific nouns: 'small outdoor gyms in Korean parks' and correct prepositions 'on television' and 'in almost every corner.'