Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (past tense), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix tense errors, plural/singular forms, and word choice (e.g. "sandcastle", "memorable"). Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes. I loved going to parks when I was about seven to ten. I often went there with many friends, and we would play on the slides, run around, and build sandcastles together, which are some of my most memorable childhood moments.

Sugestão: Give a direct topic sentence and then two clear reasons with linking words. Correct collocations and grammar (e.g. "because of work", "I don't have time", "the weather is hot and humid"). Avoid fillers and run-on sentences. Use one concise sentence about your alternative (gym) and why.

Exemplo: Not really. Because of work I don't have much free time, and Taiwan's hot, humid weather makes outdoor exercise uncomfortable. Therefore I prefer going to the gym, which is more comfortable and helps me relieve work-related stress.

Sugestão: Give a clear topic sentence and then two specific benefits using linking words. Correct grammar and phrasing (e.g. "parks in the city", "offer people", "leisure and relaxation", "help improve air quality"), avoid hesitation and incomplete sentences. End with a concise concluding sentence.

Exemplo: Yes, definitely. Parks in the city not only offer people places for leisure and relaxation, but they also help improve air quality and reduce urban temperatures. These benefits are especially important in Taiwan, particularly in Taipei.

Sugestão: Be concise and correct: state the park name or place clearly, then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g. "Central Park in New York City", "I have seen it on YouTube", "large space"). Avoid repetition and finish the thought in one or two sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I really want to visit Central Park in New York City. I have seen many videos of its wide green spaces and facilities on YouTube, and I would like to explore its paths and relax there in person.

× Oh yeah, I really like to go in the park when I was like 7 to 10 years old.

✓ Oh yeah, I really liked going to the park when I was about 7 to 10 years old.

Tense inconsistency: 'like' (present) conflicts with 'when I was' (past). Use past tense 'liked' and use gerund 'going' to express habitual past action. Also use 'to the park' and 'about' for approximate age. Identify as Present tense issue (ID 6).

× During that times I have a lot of friends in parks, so usually we will like play the slide or just running around or build a sand cut castle by ourselves.

✓ During that time I had a lot of friends at the park, so usually we would play on the slides, run around, or build sandcastles by ourselves.

Quantifier and article errors: 'that times' should be 'that time' or 'those times'; tense also needed past 'had'. Use 'at the park' not 'in parks' for typical visits. Use 'would' for habitual past. 'Play the slide' -> 'play on the slides'; 'running around' -> 'run around' to match parallel structure; 'sand cut castle' -> 'sandcastles'. Identified as Incorrect use of quantifiers (ID 14).

× I think that is the unforgettable memorial time for me.

✓ I think that was an unforgettable memory for me.

Word choice and adjective use: 'unforgettable' is correct but 'memorial time' is incorrect collocation; use 'memory'. Match past tense 'was'. Identified as Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs (ID 13).

× Because of workings, I'm now super busy, don't have the time to go to park and enjoy.

✓ Because of work, I'm now super busy and don't have time to go to the park and enjoy it.

Word form and subject-verb clarity: 'workings' is incorrect — use uncountable noun 'work'. Missing conjunction 'and' to join clauses. Add article 'the' before 'park' and pronoun 'it' for 'enjoy'. Identified as Third person singular issue (ID 2) because of verb/noun form mismatch and verb agreement context.

× And 2nd is because uh, Taiwan's weather it is hot and humid, it is not suitable to stay outside for too long.

✓ Secondly, Taiwan's weather is hot and humid, so it is not suitable to stay outside for too long.

Remove unnecessary filler 'it' after subject; use 'Secondly' instead of '2nd'; use 'so' as conjunction for result. Preposition use not major, but sentence structure and redundancy fixed. Identified as Incorrect use of prepositions (ID 11).

× So I prefer to go to the gym to do workout that will more comfortable and release my stress during work.

✓ So I prefer going to the gym to work out because it is more comfortable and helps relieve my work stress.

Use gerund 'going' after 'prefer'. 'Work out' is a phrasal verb; use 'helps relieve' for clarity. Add 'it is' for 'more comfortable'. Identified as Verb + -ing form (ID 8).

× I think park in city is not only offered people a place for leisure and relax, it also help to improve the, uh, air quality in the cities and then lower down the temperatures in the cities.

✓ I think parks in the city not only offer people a place for leisure and relaxation, but also help improve air quality and lower temperatures in the city.

Quantifier and article issues: 'park in city' -> 'parks in the city'; 'offered people' -> 'offer people'; 'relax' -> noun 'relaxation'; remove redundant 'the' and 'in the cities'. Use plural agreement 'help' with plural subject. Identified as Incorrect use of quantifiers (ID 14).

× So that thing that is really important in Taiwan, especially in Taipei. So I.

✓ That is really important in Taiwan, especially in Taipei.

Fragment and redundancy: original contains a fragment 'So I.' Remove filler and make a complete sentence. Identified as Sentence structure errors (ID 26).

× Yeah, I super want to go to I really want to go to the park in Central New York City.

✓ Yeah, I really want to go to Central Park in New York City.

Redundancy and incorrect name: 'Central New York City' is wrong; the famous park is 'Central Park' in New York City. 'I super want to go to I really want to go to' is redundant; use 'really want'. Identified as Incorrect use of quantifiers (ID 14).

× I know that is a really famous City Park with a lot of equipment and that is a really large spaces and and I have saw this in on YouTube, so I really want to take a look at it.

✓ I know it is a very famous city park with a lot of facilities and that it has very large open spaces, and I have seen it on YouTube, so I really want to visit.

Word choice and grammar: Use 'it' for 'that', 'very' instead of 'really' for formality, 'city park' not 'City Park' unless proper noun, 'facilities' instead of 'equipment', 'spaces' is countable so 'large open spaces', past participle 'seen' not 'saw', remove extra 'in' before YouTube, and use 'visit' for 'take a look at'. Identified as Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs (ID 13).