Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct tense and grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details (what you did there or a memory). Avoid redundant wording.

Exemplo: Yes, I did. I loved going to the park after school because it helped me relax. For example, I often fed ducks and played on the swings with my friends, which made the afternoons fun and memorable.

Sugestão: Fix pronoun use and verb forms, reduce hesitations, and use linking words to connect ideas. Provide a specific routine or activity to illustrate how parks help you now.

Exemplo: Definitely. I still go to parks to relax after work because walking among trees helps me unwind. For example, I usually walk for thirty minutes and sit by a pond after completing difficult tasks to clear my mind.

Sugestão: Correct grammar and word choice (e.g., 'pollution', 'we' → 'us'), and be more specific about benefits. Use linking words to explain cause and effect briefly.

Exemplo: Yes, I would. My city has high pollution, so more parks would improve air quality and public health. For instance, additional green spaces would give residents cleaner air and pleasant places to relax and exercise.

Sugestão: Avoid long hesitations and unclear phrases. Be specific about which park or city and give a concise reason. Use correct nouns and structure, and limit to 3–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes. I want to visit the parks in Birmingham when I study for my master's degree there because the campus has many green spaces. I plan to exercise, meet new friends, and relax in those parks between classes.

× Yes I did. I love to go to the park as I was a child because it made me feel relaxed at that time after I finished learning at school.

✓ Yes, I did. I loved going to the park when I was a child because it made me feel relaxed after I finished school.

The sentence mixes past and present tense. 'I love to go' should be past 'I loved going' to match 'I was a child' and 'it made me feel'. Use 'when I was a child' rather than 'as I was a child' for natural phrasing; 'finished learning at school' is awkward — use 'finished school'. Also add commas and adjust verb forms for consistency.

× Definitely, yet I still love going to parks now because you still help me relax after I finish working.

✓ Definitely. I still love going to parks now because they help me relax after I finish work.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'you' to refer to parks — use 'they'. 'Finish working' is acceptable but 'finish work' is more natural. Keep present tense 'help' and 'finish' consistent.

× For example, I love go to parks after umm, finish my difficult tasks.

✓ For example, I love going to parks after I finish difficult tasks.

After verbs like 'love' use the -ing form: 'love going'. Also include the subject 'I' before 'finish' and use present tense 'finish' to match habitual action; remove filler 'umm' and unnecessary 'my' before 'difficult tasks' or keep 'my' consistently if preferred.

× I would say yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are a lot of pollutions in my city.

✓ I would say yes. I would like to see more parks in my city because there is a lot of pollution in my city.

'Pollution' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized as 'pollutions' — use 'pollution' with singular verb 'is'. Split into two sentences for clarity and avoid repeating 'in my city' twice.

× So I think parks can help we have a more fresh air and make we are happy to spend.

✓ So I think parks can help us have fresher air and make us happy to spend time there.

Use the object pronoun 'us' not 'we' after 'help'. 'A more fresh air' is incorrect — say 'fresher air' or 'more fresh air' (prefer 'fresher air'). 'Make we are happy' is ungrammatical; use 'make us happy'. Add 'spend time there' to complete the idea.

× Let me think a yacht.

✓ Let me think. Hmm — there isn't a specific park that comes to mind.

'Let me think a yacht' is nonsensical in context; likely filler 'Let me think' was intended. Provide a grammatically correct filler or clarify the intended meaning.

× I think there are a few parks that I would like to go in the future, especially, uh, especially in the place that I would like to study Master Ricky's, which is Birmingham, which is has a lot of parks in there in my campus.

✓ I think there are a few parks that I would like to visit in the future, especially in the city where I will study for my master's, which is Birmingham; my campus there has a lot of parks.

Use 'visit' rather than 'go' with 'parks'. 'In the future' should follow 'visit'. 'Study Master Ricky's' is unclear — corrected to 'study for my master's'. 'Which is has' is ungrammatical; fix to 'which is Birmingham; my campus there has'. Remove redundant 'in there'.

× And I would love to spend time with my new friends and have exercise and small chit chat.

✓ I would love to spend time with my new friends, exercise, and have small chats.

Use parallel structure: list activities in the same grammatical form. 'Have exercise' is unnatural — use 'exercise'. 'Small chit chat' should be 'small chats' or 'a little chit-chat'; ensure consistent nouns.