Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be careful with grammar, word choice and sentence count. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using correct plural/singular forms and articles. Use linking words (for example, because / so) and avoid redundancy.

Exemplo: Yes — I loved going to parks with my mother when I was a child. We often spent whole afternoons there, feeding ducks and having small picnics, so it became an important bonding activity for us.

Sugestão: Reduce repetition and correct short fragments. Give a topic sentence, then one or two specific examples of what you do in the park. Use linking words (because / therefore) and correct phrases (e.g., “space out” → “space out” used correctly within a full sentence).

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax. For example, when I feel stressed from work I either have a picnic with friends or simply sit on a bench and space out while listening to birds, which helps me unwind.

Sugestão: Clarify your point and fix factual/grammar errors. Start with a clear opinion, then give a specific reason and one supporting detail. Use correct collocations (e.g., “industrial city”, “air pollution”, “more parks”, “cleaner air”) and avoid vague phrases.

Exemplo: Yes, absolutely. Shanghai is an industrial city and suffers from air pollution, so I would welcome more parks because green spaces can improve air quality and provide residents with cleaner, cooler places to relax.

Sugestão: Be more specific and correct grammar. Give the park name or a clearer description, and explain exactly why you want to visit with one or two concrete details. Use correct plural forms and complete sentences.

Exemplo: I would like to visit the national park near the mountains because it is famous for its scenic trails and rare wildlife. I want to see the landscapes and learn about the animals there to broaden my horizons and enjoy nature.

× When I was a child, I often went to park with my mom and I think it was a wonderful bonding activities.

✓ When I was a child, I often went to the park with my mom and I think it was a wonderful bonding activity.

Use singular or plural to match the noun: 'park' needs the definite article 'the' in this context, and 'activity' should be singular to agree with 'a wonderful'. Also move 'the' before 'park' because specific park visits are implied.

× It's a good way for us to relax.

✓ It's a good way for us to relax.

No correction needed for grammar; sentence is correct. (Included only if following rule 2 requires mentioning sentences that meet list - here it meets none, but left unchanged.)

× You know I am busy with my work, so when I feel stressed and overwhelmed I often go to the park.

✓ You know I am busy with my work, so when I feel stressed and overwhelmed I often go to the park.

Sentence tense and structure are correct; no change required.

× I can have a picnic with my friends or just do nothing. Just a space out I see It's a great for me to unwind.

✓ I can have a picnic with my friends or just do nothing, just space out. I think it's great for me to unwind.

Original has fragment and word order issues: 'Just a space out I see' is ungrammatical. Use 'just space out' as a verb phrase and combine into complete sentences. Also 'It's a great for me' should be 'I think it's great' or 'It's great for me' removing extra article.

× Yes, absolutely. You know, Shanghai is a industrial city, so there are many polluted air.

✓ Yes, absolutely. You know, Shanghai is an industrial city, so there is a lot of polluted air.

Use the indefinite article 'an' before vowel sounds: 'an industrial city'. 'Air' is an uncountable noun, so use 'a lot of' or 'much' instead of 'many', and the singular verb 'is' agrees with the uncountable noun.

× So I think the more city we have, the more clean air in the Shanghai.

✓ So I think the more parks we have, the cleaner the air in Shanghai will be.

Meaning was unclear and had incorrect nouns: 'city' should be 'parks' to match context. Compare structures use 'the more...the more/ the cleaner...' Also use 'cleaner' (comparative adjective) and 'in Shanghai' without 'the'. Add 'will be' to complete the comparative clause.

× I want to go to the National Park in the future.

✓ I want to go to the national park in the future.

Grammar is acceptable; only capitalization adjusted to common noun unless referring to a specific park name. The tense 'want to go' for future intention is correct.

× You know, there are many wonderful natural scenery and some precious animal in the park, so I want to broaden my horizons in the.

✓ You know, there is a lot of wonderful natural scenery and some precious animals in the park, so I want to broaden my horizons there.

'Scenery' is an uncountable noun, so use 'a lot of' and singular verb 'is'. 'Animal' should be plural 'animals' if referring to more than one. 'In the' is incomplete; replace with 'there'. Use 'precious' is acceptable but 'rare' or 'endangered' may be more natural depending on meaning.