Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Reduce hesitations and repetitions, make your answer more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details (activities and memories) using linking words. Avoid filler sounds like 'uh' and repeated words.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For one thing, they were perfect for burning off energy because I spent hours on the swings and slides. Also, I made many friends there and created lasting family memories, such as weekend picnics and birthday parties.

Sugestão: Clarify and expand slightly with a linking word and a concrete example of what you do now in parks. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid awkward phrasing like 'the main motive of going there has changed a bit.'

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy parks, but my reason for going has changed. While I used to go to play and be active, now I visit to relax and appreciate nature. For example, I often sit by a pond to read or watch birds, which helps me unwind.

Sugestão: Be specific and use precise vocabulary; avoid vague phrases like 'and stuff' and reduce repetitions. Present a topic sentence then two clear reasons with linking words (e.g., 'First' and 'Second') and an example or result.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like more parks in the city. First, parks improve the urban environment by reducing pollution and providing green spaces. Second, they help reduce stress and improve wellbeing; for instance, people can exercise or relax outdoors, which benefits public health.

Sugestão: Remove hesitations, correct factual phrasing, and add a specific detail about what you want to do there. Use a topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details (e.g., particular rides or events) and a reason why you want to visit.

Exemplo: Yes — I would like to visit a large park in Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia. I've heard it is one of the biggest parks and offers various activities like cycling paths and outdoor concerts. I want to go there to try the bike routes and enjoy family-friendly events.

× Well, I loved going to parks as a child, uh, because I have a lot of memories there.

✓ Well, I loved going to parks as a child, uh, because I had a lot of memories there.

The sentence mixes past tense 'loved' with present tense 'have'. Use past tense 'had' to maintain consistent time reference to childhood memories. Suggestion: keep tense consistent when referring to past experiences.

× It, it was a way to burn off a lot of energy.

✓ It was a way to burn off a lot of energy.

The repeated filler 'It, it' is unnecessary and interrupts flow. Removing the duplicate keeps the sentence grammatically correct. Note: this is stylistic rather than a grammatical form error, but it corrects redundancy.

× Uh, I used to love making friends there and perform different activities, including the slides and swings and so much more.

✓ Uh, I used to love making friends there and performing different activities, including using the slides and swings and many more.

Parallel structure requires matching forms: 'making' followed by 'performing' (not 'perform') to keep gerund forms consistent. Also use 'using the slides and swings' or 'playing on the slides and swings' for natural collocation; 'so much more' changed to 'many more' for countable activities.

× Plus it is one of the, it provided me with a lot of good memories with my family.

✓ Plus, it provided me with a lot of good memories with my family.

The original mixes present 'is' with past 'provided' and contains an extraneous fragment 'one of the,'. Correct by using past tense 'provided' to match childhood context and remove the fragment.

× I still love going to the parks, but the main motive of going there has changed a bit.

✓ I still love going to parks, but the main reason for going there has changed a bit.

Use 'parks' without 'the' for general reference. 'Motive' is less natural than 'reason'. Tense 'has changed' is fine (present perfect) for current change; adjustment improves naturalness.

× Firstly it was used as a way to burn off energy and enjoy my time there, but now it's a source of calmness, absorbing the beautiful sights over there.

✓ At first, it was a way to burn off energy and enjoy my time there, but now it's a source of calmness where I can absorb the beautiful sights.

'Firstly' is acceptable but 'At first' is more natural. 'Absorbing the beautiful sights over there' lacks a subject and uses redundant 'over there'. Use 'where I can absorb' to create a proper clause and remove redundant preposition.

× Of course I would love to see more parks in the city as it just not makes the environment much better when you when you're talking in terms of cleanliness and stuff.

✓ Of course I would love to see more parks in the city, as they just make the environment much better when you talk about cleanliness and so on.

Problems: 'it just not makes' is ungrammatical—use plural 'they' for 'parks' and correct verb order 'make' (subject-verb). Remove redundant 'when you when you're' and replace 'stuff' with 'so on' or a specific phrase. Use a comma before the subordinate clause.

× It also improves the the stress leveling of the people around.

✓ It also reduces the stress levels of people nearby.

'Stress leveling' is incorrect collocation. Use 'reduces the stress levels' or 'lowers stress levels'. Remove duplicated 'the the' and use 'people nearby' or 'people around' for clarity.

× It is a source of making your life better.

✓ It is a way to improve your quality of life.

Original is awkward: 'a source of making' is non-idiomatic. Use 'a way to improve' or 'a source of improvement' to convey meaning clearly.

× Yes, there is actually one in the main city of Riyadh, uh, capital city of Saudi Arab.

✓ Yes, there is actually one in the city center of Riyadh, the capital city of Saudi Arabia.

Use 'city center' or 'central area' for clarity. 'Saudi Arab' is incorrect; correct proper noun 'Saudi Arabia'. Add definite article before 'capital city' and use comma to set apposition.

× Uh, it is told to be one of the biggest parks and it has a lot of different activities that can be enjoyed by the kids and adults at the same time.

✓ Uh, it is said to be one of the biggest parks, and it has a lot of different activities that can be enjoyed by both children and adults.

'It is told to be' is unnatural; use 'it is said to be' or 'it is reported to be'. 'Kids and adults' is informal — 'children and adults' is preferable. 'At the same time' is unnecessary here and can be omitted for concision.