Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct minor grammar mistakes; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and redundant phrases.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I often played on the swings and slides with my friends, and my parents would take us there for weekend picnics. I especially remember enjoying the peaceful atmosphere and the trees, which made it a relaxing place to spend time.

Sugestão: Eliminate redundancy and fix grammar (avoid both 'although' and 'but'); use one linking word and provide a specific example of what you do when you visit a park. Keep answer within 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: I don't have much time for parks because of my busy schedule, but when I can I enjoy going to relax. For instance, I usually sit on a bench and read or take a short walk to escape the noise of the city.

Sugestão: Be specific and avoid filler words like 'uh'. Use clear reasons and an example of how parks help reduce pollution (e.g., trees absorbing CO2) and mention one concrete benefit for residents.

Exemplo: Yes, I would. More parks would help improve air quality because trees absorb carbon dioxide and produce oxygen. Moreover, parks give residents places to exercise and relax, which benefits both health and community life.

Sugestão: Correct repetition and awkward phrasing; start with a clear topic sentence then provide vivid specific details about what you want to do there (activities or sights). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: I would love to visit Central Park in New York in the future. I want to walk around its lakes, rent a rowboat, and relax under the shade of trees while enjoying the city views and peaceful atmosphere.

× 'Yes, I did like going to park as a child.'

✓ 'Yes, I did like going to parks as a child.'

'Going to park' is missing the plural or definite article. Use 'going to parks' (general habit) or 'going to the park' for specific reference. Here the student speaks generally about parks, so use the plural 'parks.' Use consistent plural/article with countable nouns.'

× 'I enjoyed swinging and using the slides there with my friends and I remember my parents took me there for picnics and the weekend.'

✓ 'I enjoyed swinging and using the slides there with my friends, and I remember my parents taking me there for picnics on the weekends.'

'and I remember my parents took me there' mixes tense/forms awkwardly. Use parallel gerund 'remember my parents taking me' or keep past simple for both clauses. Also 'for the weekend' is more natural as 'on the weekends' when speaking habitually. Added a comma before 'and' to separate clauses.'

× 'Overall I really enjoyed the peace and the environment and it.'

✓ 'Overall, I really enjoyed the peace and the environment.'

'and it' is redundant and ungrammatical at the end of the sentence. Also add a comma after 'Overall.' Remove 'and it' to make the sentence complete.'

× 'Although I don't get much time to spend time in park due to my busy schedule, but if I do get a chance I would love to go to a park and relax and get away from the busy city lives schedule.'

✓ 'Although I don't get much time to spend in parks due to my busy schedule, if I do get a chance I would love to go to a park to relax and get away from the busy city life.'

'in park' needs an article or plural: use 'in parks' or 'in the park.' Also do not use both 'Although' and 'but' together; remove 'but.' 'Spend time' is repetitive, so one 'time' is enough. 'Busy city lives schedule' is incorrect; use 'busy city life.' Use 'to relax' for purpose.'

× 'Yes, I would love that as the environment is deteriorating with the constant pollution. Uh park would allow people to relax and enjoy nature and it would also reduce the pollution that is increasing constantly.'

✓ 'Yes, I would love that, as the environment is deteriorating because of constant pollution. A park would allow people to relax and enjoy nature, and it would also reduce pollution.'

Missing article before 'park' — use 'A park.' 'With the constant pollution' is better as 'because of constant pollution.' 'Reduce the pollution that is increasing constantly' is wordy; simplify to 'reduce pollution.' Added commas for clarity.'

× 'The only part that comes into my mind when I think of going to a park will probably be Central Park in New York, which is my dream destination and I have heard it's really huge and I would love to explore it, explore it and watch its lakes and sit under the shade of a tree and enjoy my peaceful time there.'

✓ 'The only place that comes to mind when I think of going to a park is probably Central Park in New York, which is my dream destination. I have heard it's really huge, and I would love to explore it, see its lakes, sit under the shade of a tree, and enjoy some peaceful time there.'

'part' is the wrong noun; use 'place.' 'Comes into my mind' is less natural than 'comes to mind.' Tense/modal consistency: use 'is probably' instead of 'will probably be.' Repetition 'explore it, explore it' removed. 'Watch its lakes' is awkward; use 'see its lakes.' Added commas and split into two sentences for clarity and natural rhythm.'}]};