Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more grammatically accurate and reduce hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using past tense consistently and a linking word. Avoid filler words like "umm" and correct verb forms (e.g., "took" instead of "takes").

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my grandmother often took me there after school and we played basketball together, which created many happy memories.

Sugestão: Use the correct tense and clearer phrasing. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give a specific reason and one brief example. Replace awkward phrases like "both of my physics and mental" with "both physically and mentally." Remove hesitations.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often visit them in my free time because walking and exercising there helps me relax both physically and mentally.

Sugestão: Be concise and use precise vocabulary. Start with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons linked by connectors. Replace unclear words like "proximity" with "parks nearby" and avoid fillers.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because having parks nearby improves residents' quality of life and provides safe play areas for the growing number of children.

Sugestão: Give a clear, concise response and correct grammar. Name the park clearly, explain why you want to visit with one or two specific details, and avoid repetition and broken word order.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to visit the International Geographical Park in the United States because it combines fascinating geological exhibits with peaceful walking trails where I could both learn and relax.

× Yeah, I like going to the park. When I was a child, umm, in my primary school, my grandma always takes me to the park and we will play the umm, basketball there. So it's very enjoyable moment.

✓ Yeah, I liked going to the park. When I was a child, in primary school, my grandma always took me to the park and we would play basketball there. So it was a very enjoyable time.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses. Use past tense when describing habitual actions in the past: 'liked', 'took', and 'would play' (or 'played'). Also use 'time' instead of 'moment' for a general experience. Remove unnecessary fillers and articles ('the umm, basketball' -> 'basketball'). Improve fluency by keeping tense consistent and using appropriate vocabulary.

× Of course I still like going to the parks now when in my free time I always went to the park because going to the park always makes me feel relaxed from the both of my physics and mental UMM.

✓ Of course I still like going to the parks now. In my free time I always go to the park because going to the park always makes me feel relaxed both physically and mentally.

The original mixes present and past ('still like' vs 'always went'). For current habits use present simple: 'always go'. Use correct adverbs/adjectives: 'physically and mentally' instead of 'physics and mental'. Remove filler words. 'Both of my' is unnecessary; 'both physically and mentally' is correct.

× Of course, I like to see more proximity, because it is very basic, uh, facilities of a city, and nowadays more and more children in the city, so park is of great importance.

✓ Of course, I would like to see more nearby parks because they are basic city facilities, and nowadays there are more and more children in the city, so parks are very important.

'See more proximity' is incorrect; use 'more nearby parks' or 'parks in proximity'. 'It is very basic, uh, facilities' has number and article errors: 'they are basic city facilities'. Ensure subject-verb agreement ('parks are') and use plural consistently. Clarify meaning and remove filler. Use 'there are' to introduce existence.

× Yeah, of course I prefer to go to the International Geographical Park in the America and this park which was both have the geography and the relaxing theme. So I want to there go there.

✓ Yeah, of course I would prefer to go to the International Geographic Park in America; this park has both geographic exhibits and a relaxing theme. So I want to go there.

Problems: 'in the America' should be 'in America'; 'was both have' mixes tenses and structures. Use present simple 'has' to describe park features. 'Prefer to go' in conditional/future context is better as 'would prefer to go'. Remove duplicated 'there go there' and correct word forms ('geographic' or 'geography exhibits'). Use clear subject-verb structure.