Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundant phrasing (e.g., "my family and myself") and long lists without clear structure.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my family visited every weekend when my parents were free, and my sister and I usually played football or chased each other around the playground, which helped me burn off energy and have fun.

Sugestão: Finish your thought and reduce filler words. Use a clear reason with a linking phrase (e.g., "because" or "so") and one specific detail about what you do in the park. Keep it to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy parks and try to go once a week because they give me a mental reset. For instance, I take a short walk among the trees to relax and escape the concrete and skyscrapers of the city.

Sugestão: Be specific and complete your comparisons and reasons. Avoid unfinished sentences and vague claims. Use linking words (e.g., "however," "because") and provide a concrete example or consequence of more parks.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because we have less green space than cities like Seoul. For example, adding small community parks would give families affordable places to relax and children safe areas to play.

Sugestão: Avoid self-conscious remarks (e.g., "girly") and be concise. Give a clear reason and a specific activity you would do there, linking the reason to the activity. Check grammar (its → it's; avoid repeating words).

Exemplo: Yes, I would love to visit Central Park in New York because I admire its iconic scenery. For example, I'd take a leisurely walk around the lake and enjoy the contrast between the park's greenery and the surrounding skyscrapers, which I often saw in TV shows I liked.

× My family and myself, we went to parks really often, usually once a week on the weekends when my parents didn't have to work and my sister and I usually played games, played football or were just running around the park.

✓ My family and I went to parks really often, usually once a week on the weekends when my parents didn't have to work, and my sister and I usually played games, played football, or just ran around the park.

Use 'my family and I' as the subject pronoun combination; 'myself' is a reflexive pronoun used incorrectly here. Also maintain parallel verb forms: use simple past 'ran' to match 'played' and avoid unnecessary continuous form. Add commas for clarity. Suggestion: Use subject pronouns for compound subjects (I, you, he/she, we, they) and keep verb forms parallel.

× Umm one of the main reasons is going to a park is like a mind reset for myself because I'm surrounded by nature and as I live in a city I'm usually surrounded by skyscrapers and.

✓ One of the main reasons is that going to a park is like a mind reset for me because when I live in the city I'm surrounded by skyscrapers.

The sentence is awkward and has pronoun and clause issues. 'Myself' is incorrectly used; use 'me'. Add 'that' to introduce the noun clause 'going to a park...'. The trailing 'and' leaves the sentence incomplete, so restructure to a complete thought. Use present simple consistent tense for general truths. Suggestion: Use 'that' to introduce explanations, use 'me' not 'myself' as object, and avoid leaving sentences unfinished.

× Yes, I would definitely like to see more parks in my city. We do have some but if I compare it to other cities like Seoul and other Asian cities, I do.

✓ Yes, I would definitely like to see more parks in my city. We do have some, but compared to other cities like Seoul and other Asian cities, we don't have as many.

The original 'if I compare it to...' is awkward and 'I do' is vague. Use comparative structure 'compared to' and a clear subject 'we' plus 'don't have as many' to express lack. Also ensure subject-pronoun agreement and clearer comparative phrasing. Suggestion: Use 'compared to' for comparisons and state clearly what is lacking.

× In my opinion there is a lack of greenery and parks as well because parks are usually free and families can spend.

✓ In my opinion there is a lack of greenery and parks as well because parks are usually free and families can spend time there.

The clause 'families can spend' is incomplete; it needs an object such as 'time' and a location 'there'. Complete the verb phrase to make a full idea. Suggestion: Ensure 'there is' is followed by the noun phrase and complete the verb with its object.

× This may sound a bit girly but one of the main reasons was I watched Gossip Girl when I was younger and I loved the scene with Blake and Chuck in the Central Park and I would love to to take a leisure walk around watch the skyscraper.

✓ This may sound a bit girly, but one of the main reasons is that I watched Gossip Girl when I was younger and I loved the scene with Blair and Chuck in Central Park, and I would love to take a leisurely walk there and see the skyscrapers.

Multiple issues: tense consistency—use present tense 'is' to state a current reason; 'was I watched' is incorrect word order and past tense placement. 'Blake' should be 'Blair' (proper noun) but that's content; correct 'to to' duplication and 'leisure walk' should be 'leisurely walk'. 'Watch the skyscraper' is wrong: use 'see the skyscrapers' or 'view the skyline'. Present participle issue: 'watching' not needed; instead use infinitive 'to take'. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent, correct word order for subordinate clauses ('is that I watched...'), remove duplicate words, and use appropriate adjective forms like 'leisurely' and plural 'skyscrapers'.