Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and use past tense consistently. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (use simple linking words). Avoid repetition and filler words.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my family often visited Umm Kowloon Park, where I enjoyed watching birds and playing on the slides and swings. Besides, there was a small swimming pool that made visits even more fun.

Sugestão: Give a direct, grammatical answer and then briefly explain why. Use correct tense and avoid fragmented sentences. Add a linking word to connect reason.

Exemplo: Not as much as before. Nowadays I rarely visit parks because I am busy with work, so I go only on weekends when I have free time.

Sugestão: Be clearer and more precise: state your opinion, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid overgeneralization and incorrect phrasing.

Exemplo: Definitely — I would like more parks. However, because Hong Kong has limited public land and high demand for housing, it is difficult to create new parks. As a result, the government often prioritizes residential development.

Sugestão: Answer directly and use clearer reasons with fewer fillers. Use linking words to organise points and provide one specific detail about what you want to see or do there.

Exemplo: Yes, I would love to visit Central Park in New York because I have seen it in many films and it looks huge. In particular, I want to walk around the Ramble and see the scenic lakes and open lawns.

× I love going to parks. When I was a child with my family, I remember that I visited Umm Kowloon Park very often and there are birds and park facilities like the slides and swings and also there are there is some swimming pool there. So it is very fruitful when every time when I'm going to that.

✓ I loved going to parks. When I was a child, I remember visiting Umm Kowloon Park very often. There were birds and facilities like slides and swings, and there was also a swimming pool. So it was always enjoyable when I went there.

Mixed and incorrect tense usage: the student uses present tense 'I love' and present 'there are' while talking about childhood. Use past tense to describe past habits and states (loved, visited, were, was, went). Also simplify redundant phrases ('every time when'). Suggestion: keep past tense consistently when describing past experiences and use concise sentences.

× there are birds and park facilities like the slides and swings and also there are there is some swimming pool there.

✓ There were birds and park facilities like slides and swings, and there was also a swimming pool.

Incorrect use of articles and number: 'the slides and swings' is acceptable but unnecessary; 'some swimming pool' is ungrammatical because 'pool' is singular and needs 'a' or plural. Use 'a swimming pool' or 'there was also a swimming pool'. Also match plurality and tense: use 'were' for plural 'birds' and 'facilities' in past context.

× So it is very fruitful when every time when I'm going to that.

✓ So it was very enjoyable whenever I went there.

Awkward phrasing and tense inconsistency: 'is very fruitful' is odd for describing a park visit; 'every time when I'm going to that' mixes present continuous with past context. Use 'was' and a natural adjective like 'enjoyable', and use 'whenever I went there' for repeated past events.

× Well, I don't think I am going to be parks more. Often like before.

✓ Well, I don't think I go to parks as often as I used to.

Incorrect verb forms and word order: 'I am going to be parks more' is ungrammatical. The intended meaning contrasts current frequency with the past; use present simple for habitual actions ('I go to parks') and 'as often as I used to' to compare with past frequency. This corrects tense and structure.

× Definitely, but owing to the limited public space in Hong Kong, where people may not have enough residential areas and some of them may not have places to live, it is barely possible to build more parks in the city.

✓ Definitely, but owing to limited public space in Hong Kong, where there is not enough land for residences, it is hardly possible to build more parks in the city.

Preposition and word choice issues: 'limited public space' is fine, but 'people may not have enough residential areas' is incorrect—people do not 'have residential areas'; land or space is lacking. 'Barely possible' is awkward; 'hardly possible' is the common collocation meaning very difficult. Suggest rephrasing to refer to 'land' or 'space' rather than 'residential areas' for clarity.

× Yes, I would like to go to the Central Park in New York because umm, I always see that part in that park in movies and films.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to Central Park in New York because I always see that park in movies and films.

Article misuse and redundancy: 'the Central Park' is incorrect—use 'Central Park' without 'the'. The phrase 'that part in that park' is unclear and likely a slip; simplified to 'I always see that park' to convey the idea. Also remove filler 'umm' for clarity in formal responses.

× And I would like to visit the park in person because it is it seems to be very large and there are a lot of different areas in the park within the city centre.

✓ I would like to visit the park in person because it seems to be very large and has many different areas within the city centre.

Redundancy and awkward verb forms: remove duplicated 'it is it seems to be' and use 'seems to be' or simply 'seems'. Use 'has' instead of 'there are' to make the sentence more direct ('has many different areas'). Also prefer 'many' over 'a lot of' in formal speech and use consistent verb forms.

× So I would like to have a look.

✓ So I would like to see it in person.

Awkward, vague phrasing: 'have a look' is informal and incomplete in this context. 'See it in person' is clearer and matches the previous sentence about visiting the park. Suggest using a more precise verb and object to complete the thought.