Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence referring to childhood, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh, um) and tense inconsistency (use past for childhood).

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. For example, in Kyoto there were many parks where children and older people gathered, and I often played football and other ball games with friends.

Sugestão: Give a clear topic sentence and then specific activities and reasons. Use natural vocabulary (e.g. "energised" or "refreshed" instead of "exhilarating feelings"). Remove repetitions and fillers.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I'm an outdoorsy person. For example, I often walk or run there to feel more energized and relaxed after work.

Sugestão: Answer directly and give two clear, specific reasons with linking words (e.g. "because" / "and"). Correct word choice (parks, greenery) and grammar (it makes me relaxed -> they make me feel relaxed).

Exemplo: Yes, I would. Parks are useful not only for exercise but also because they provide greenery and quiet spaces, so they help me relax.

Sugestão: Be specific about the park and location, and avoid confusion between continents and countries. State one clear destination and a reason why you want to visit it. Keep sentences short and coherent.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to visit a national park in Canada, such as Banff National Park, because of its vast forests and mountains — we don't have anything that large near Kyoto.

× Yes, I like going to parks as a child.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child.

The question asks about childhood (past). The student used present simple 'like' which mismatches the past timeframe. Use past simple 'liked' to show the activity occurred in the past. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time expression (as a child -> liked).

× for example, I'm, I live in Kyoto currently and uh, there are many parks for, uh, both, uh, like younger people and elderly people and as a child, uh, we can play a soccer or like something ball games.

✓ For example, I currently live in Kyoto, and there are many parks for both younger people and elderly people, and as a child we could play soccer or other ball games.

Multiple issues: pronoun 'I'm, I live' is awkward and adverb placement ('currently') should come after subject; 'for both' redundantly placed; 'as a child, we can' mixes past context with present modal 'can' — use past 'could' when describing childhood experiences. Also 'a soccer' is incorrect article use; 'soccer' is uncountable here. Suggestions: simplify sentence structure, place adverbs after subject, use 'could' for past ability, remove unnecessary articles.

× Yes, of course, uh, I'm an outdoor person and I like, uh, doing exercise.

✓ Yes, of course. I'm an outdoor person and I like exercising.

'Doing exercise' is grammatically acceptable but stylistically 'exercising' is more natural with 'like'. Also punctuation split improves clarity. Keep present tense here because the question asks about current preferences.

× Uh, this makes me, uh, exhilarating feelings and, uh, for example, walking only walking is a good thing and running is also a good thing in the park.

✓ This makes me feel exhilarated. For example, walking is good, and running is also enjoyable in the park.

'Exhilarating feelings' is awkward; 'makes me feel exhilarated' correctly uses an adjective to describe emotion. 'Walking only walking' is redundant. Use parallel structure: 'walking is good' and 'running is also enjoyable.' Suggest replacing noun phrase with verb+adjective construction and remove repetition.

× Yes, I would like to see it because maybe parts have several good aspects, not only like for those who are like exercising but also it has a like greenery and it made me relaxed.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks because they have several good aspects: they are for people who exercise, and they have greenery that makes me feel relaxed.

Pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers to 'parks' (plural) — use 'they'. 'Parts' is wrong word; likely 'parks'. Tense 'made' mixes past; use present 'makes' or 'makes me feel relaxed' to describe general effect. Remove filler 'like'. Suggestions: ensure pronouns agree in number, use consistent present tense for general statements, and choose precise nouns.

× Yes, of course. Uh, I heard that there is a national huge park, uh, in the, uh, for example, Canada and America, like North Africa and North America and I would like to go there, uh, because, uh, it's a huge one.

✓ Yes, of course. I heard that there are huge national parks in places like Canada and the United States, and I would like to visit them because they are large.

Use plural 'parks' and plural verb 'are' to agree. 'America' ambiguous—use 'the United States' or 'North America' correctly; 'North Africa' is wrong for Canada/US. 'A huge one' is vague; use 'they are large' or 'they are huge'. Ensure correct geography and plural agreement.

× Uh, no, there, uh, we can see, uh, such a huge park in the Kyoto city where I live.

✓ No, we cannot see such a huge park in Kyoto city where I live.

The original 'no' contradicts previous statement; likely intended to say there is no such huge park locally. 'Can see' suggests ability; context implies absence, so use 'cannot see' or 'there is no such huge park in the city where I live.' Also 'the Kyoto city' is incorrect article use — use 'Kyoto' or 'Kyoto city' without 'the'. Suggest clarifying the intended meaning and using negative form if stating absence.