Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Make the answer grammatically correct, concise, and include a clear topic sentence plus one or two specific supporting details. Reduce fillers (uh) and avoid repetition. Use linking words if adding details.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played games there with my friends and my siblings, and we would spend hours on the swings and playing tag, which helped me make close friendships.

Sugestão: Clarify your idea and give a coherent reason. Avoid vague or confusing statements. State a clear topic sentence, then explain what you do in the park with specific details and linking words.

Exemplo: Yes, I still like going to parks because I often play a mobile game that encourages outdoor walking. For example, the game tracks my steps, so I visit the park daily to get exercise and enjoy fresh air while completing game tasks.

Sugestão: Give a direct answer and provide clear reasons with specific details. Fix grammar (e.g., subject-verb agreement) and remove hesitations. Use linking words like 'however' or 'because' to connect ideas.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because most of the area is occupied by offices and factories. Although there is one large park, more small local parks would make it easier for residents to relax and exercise.

Sugestão: State the park name clearly and give specific reasons why you'd like to visit. Avoid repetition and fill words. Mention concrete attractions or events (e.g., concerts, wildlife) and use linking words to connect points.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to visit Forest Park in the future. I have heard that it hosts outdoor concerts and has areas with wildlife, so I want to experience the concerts and see the animals and nature trails.

× Sure, when I was a child I really like, I really enjoy to go to the park to make some friends or have some, uh, game with others, especially with my friends or sibling.

✓ Sure, when I was a child I really liked and I really enjoyed going to the park to make some friends or play games with others, especially my friends or siblings.

The student mixed past and present tenses and used incorrect verb forms. 'When I was a child' sets the time in the past, so verbs should be past: 'liked' and 'enjoyed'. After 'enjoy' the correct structure is 'enjoy + -ing', so use 'enjoyed going'. Also 'have some game' is ungrammatical; use 'play games'. 'Sibling' should be plural 'siblings' when speaking generally. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense, use 'enjoyed going' and 'play games', and pluralize where needed.

× Yes, because I am playing a uh, game, which is need to uh, go to the park and work and therefore I need to work. I need to count how many, uh, select how many words, uh, how many step by work every day.

✓ Yes, because I am playing a game which requires me to go to the park and walk, and therefore I need to work. I need to count how many steps I take every day.

The student used incorrect verb forms and awkward phrasing. 'Which is need to' is incorrect; use 'which requires me to' or 'which needs me to'. 'Work' is likely intended as 'walk' in this context. 'Count how many select how many words' is confused; likely 'count how many steps' or 'count how many words'—given parks, 'steps' fits. Use present continuous 'I am playing' is acceptable if the activity is ongoing. Suggestion: use 'requires me to', replace 'work' with 'walk' if intended, and simplify to 'count how many steps I take every day.'

× Actually, a the city where where I live has a big part in across a lot of company. Therefore I think, uh, in my city there is no not so many park, but is a there is a big park in my city.

✓ Actually, the city where I live has large parts occupied by many companies. Therefore I think there are not so many parks in my city, but there is a big park.

Multiple article and plurality errors: 'a the city' should be 'the city'. 'Has a big part in across a lot of company' is ungrammatical and likely intends 'has large parts occupied by many companies'. Use plural 'companies'. 'There is no not so many park' is a double negative and wrong number/agreement; correct is 'there are not so many parks' and 'but there is a big park' for the singular specific park. Suggestion: remove redundant articles, fix plural nouns and subject-verb agreement, and avoid double negatives.

× I really want to go to a park which could, uh, that and Forest Park. I heard that some, some, sometimes it will hold, uh, concert, uh, outdoor outdoor concert or there are some animal and.

✓ I really want to go to a park such as Forest Park. I heard that sometimes they hold outdoor concerts there and there are some animals.

The original has unclear relative clause and incorrect verb forms. 'Which could, uh, that and Forest Park' should be 'such as Forest Park' or 'like Forest Park'. 'Sometimes it will hold concert' is incorrect subject and tense; change to 'they hold outdoor concerts' or 'they sometimes hold outdoor concerts'. 'There are some animal' needs plural 'animals'. Also avoid unnecessary 'will' for habitual events; present simple 'hold' is better. Suggestion: use 'such as' for examples, use present simple for habitual events, and pluralize nouns properly.'