Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more direct with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and redundancy, and add one specific supporting detail or brief example. Keep it under five sentences and use linking words such as 'because' to connect ideas.

Exemplo: Not really. I was a shy child, so parks made me nervous because there were always many people and loud games. For example, I remember feeling uncomfortable when strangers invited me to join group games.

Sugestão: Give a clear, grammatical response and avoid repetition. State your current feeling, then briefly explain why using a linking word (e.g., 'because' or 'although'). Be concise and specific.

Exemplo: No, I still don't really enjoy parks because I prefer quieter environments like cafes or hiking trails. Although I've tried visiting a few times, the crowds and noise still bother me.

Sugestão: Clarify your position first (yes or no), then give a specific reason and one concrete example. Avoid hesitations and vague phrases; use linking words like 'because' or 'for example.'

Exemplo: Yes, I would like more parks in the city because they improve urban infrastructure and residents' wellbeing. For example, additional parks could provide green spaces for exercise and reduce pollution in crowded neighbourhoods.

Sugestão: Answer directly and naturally, then add one specific detail about the park and why you want to visit. Use concise, idiomatic phrasing and avoid awkward constructions.

Exemplo: Yes, absolutely. I'd love to visit Central Park in Manhattan because of its famous landscapes and variety of activities, such as boating on the lake and walking the tree-lined paths.

× Well, as I've already mentioned, no not really. I've made my mind a bit, but still it doesn't seem to grow on me still.

✓ Well, as I've already mentioned, no, not really. I've made up my mind a bit, but it still doesn't seem to grow on me.

The phrase 'made my mind' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'made up my mind' (phrasal verb) meaning decided. Also 'still' is redundant when placed twice; remove one instance and adjust word order to 'it still doesn't seem to grow on me' for natural present-tense expression.

× Yes, that's starting to make different points, uh, to discuss, Yeah, compared to would I like to go to park because, uh, infrastructure in our cities is a great discussion matter.

✓ Yes, that's starting to raise different points to discuss. Compared to whether I would like to go to a park, the infrastructure in our cities is a bigger topic of discussion.

The original has unclear pronoun/reference and awkward structure. 'Make different points to discuss' is better as 'raise different points to discuss.' 'Compared to would I like to go to park' is ungrammatical; use 'compared to whether I would like to go to a park.' Also add the article 'a' before 'park' and rephrase 'is a great discussion matter' to 'is a bigger topic of discussion' for natural English.

× I would with the most willingness, love to go to the park, which is based in Manhattan.

✓ I would, with the greatest willingness, love to go to the park, which is located in Manhattan.

'Based in Manhattan' is typically used for organizations; for places use 'located in Manhattan.' 'With the most willingness' is unnatural; replace with 'with the greatest willingness' or simply 'I'd be very willing.' Punctuation adjusted for fluency.

× Honestly, not really. I was a pretty shy child and going to the park always made me a bit nervous, that's why.

✓ Honestly, not really. I was a pretty shy child, and going to the park always made me a bit nervous; that's why.

The original is a comma splice joining two independent clauses with a comma before 'that's why.' Use a semicolon or separate sentences. Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity. This preserves past-tense context and improves sentence structure.