Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more direct and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, avoid unclear words (e.g. "intrinsic") and reduce redundancy. Add one or two specific details about activities and feelings, linked with simple connectors.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to a small park called Spark near my neighborhood when I was a child. I went there almost every afternoon to play tag and football with my friends, which made me very happy because we spent hours laughing and running around.

Sugestão: Give a clear present-tense statement first, then support with specific reasons. Use natural expressions (e.g. "when I'm stressed"), correct prepositions ("go to parks"), and linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks nowadays because they help me relax when I'm stressed. For example, after a busy day I walk among the trees for 20 minutes and it helps me clear my mind and concentrate better on my work.

Sugestão: Start with a direct opinion and then give two clear reasons with linking words. Fix grammar ("I live in an urban city", "there aren't many parks"). Use specific benefits (mental health, exercise) and concise language.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there currently aren't many green spaces. More parks would provide a pleasant place for workers to relax and for children to exercise and play safely.

Sugestão: Give a clear yes/no and then specify a particular park and why. Remove fillers ("uh") and repetition. Use concise future tense and one or two concrete reasons why you want to visit that park.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to visit the Rose Garden in Chandigarh in the future because it is famous for its flowers and peaceful paths. I imagine walking there when I'm stressed from work to relax and enjoy the scenery.

× Yes, I do like to visit Spark that's near my neighborhood when I'm a very little child 'cause at that very time I'm wearing intrinsic about going outside, playing games with my friends there, and that actually the pleasing time of my life. And we do play a lot of games that help us.

✓ Yes, I liked visiting the park near my neighborhood when I was a small child because at that time I was excited about going outside and playing games with my friends, and that was a very pleasant time in my life. We played a lot of games that helped us.

Multiple tense errors: the student mixes present and past. The question asks about childhood, so use past tense ('liked', 'visited', 'was', 'played', 'helped'). Also incorrect word choices: 'Spark' should be 'park', 'very little child' -> 'small child', 'wearing intrinsic' -> 'was excited', 'pleasing time' -> 'pleasant time'. Suggestions: keep all verbs in past when describing past habits or experiences and choose appropriate vocabulary.

× My perspective you said do like to go parks often cause when I'm just hectic with my schedule and when my brain is not breathing at the moment, I like to go in the nature that really help me to just focus and release all of my hard work and all stuff.

✓ I usually like to go to parks often because when I am hectic with my schedule and my mind feels overwhelmed, I like to go into nature; it really helps me to focus and relax after hard work.

Tense and verb form inconsistencies: use present simple for habitual actions ('I usually like', 'I am hectic' should be 'I am busy' or 'when I am busy'). 'Go parks' needs preposition 'to'. 'Brain is not breathing' is incorrect idiom; use 'my mind feels overwhelmed'. 'Help' should be 'helps' to agree with singular subject 'it' (subject-verb agreement). Suggestions: use correct prepositions, present simple for routines, and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Yes, surely as I live in my in the urban city, there is no lot of parks now. So major do help us a lot in our daily life. For the employees that's kind of pleasing environment which do help the students to play and do physical activities when they are in the childhood.

✓ Yes, since I live in an urban city, there are not many parks now. Parks would help us a lot in our daily lives. For employees, they provide a pleasant environment, and they help children play and do physical activities during childhood.

Article and countability errors: use 'an urban city' or better 'an urban area'; 'there is no lot of parks' -> 'there are not many parks' (plural agreement with 'parks'). 'Major' is unclear; likely 'parks'. Verb agreement: 'which do help the students' -> 'they help children'. 'In the childhood' -> 'during childhood'. Suggestions: use 'many' for plural count nouns, correct plural verb forms ('are'), and use appropriate articles ('an').

× To be honest, I never think about it but I surely would go when, uh, someday when I'm adult, when I'm stressed with my work activities, I surely would like to go into the nature and that helps me a lot. Especially I want to go in the Rose garden that's situated in the Chandigarh near my.

✓ To be honest, I have never thought about it, but I would definitely go someday when I am an adult and stressed by my work. I would like to go into nature because it helps me a lot. Especially, I want to visit the rose garden located in Chandigarh near my home.

Tense and form errors: 'I never think' should be present perfect 'I have never thought' to indicate experience up to now. 'When I'm adult' -> 'when I am an adult' requires article. Use conditional 'would' consistently for hypothetical future. 'Go into the nature' -> 'go into nature' (no article). 'Rose garden' should be lowercase unless proper name; 'the Chandigarh near my' is incomplete: use 'in Chandigarh near my home'. Suggestions: use present perfect for life experiences, include articles where needed, and complete location phrases.