Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and use correct grammar and sentence structures. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and article use (e.g., “many times,” “a weekend” → “weekends”) and reduce repetition.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with friends, my sister and cousins, and we usually spent weekends having picnics and playing games together.

Sugestão: Improve fluency by avoiding hesitations and use correct verb forms and vocabulary (“enjoying” → “enjoy”/“to enjoy”; “residence from the work” → “residents from work” or “residents I care for”). Start with a direct statement and follow with 1–2 specific reasons using linking words.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often take walks or sit and enjoy the view, and sometimes I bring the residents I care for from the retirement village because they like fresh air and gentle exercise.

Sugestão: Organise the response: give a clear opinion, then reasons with specific examples. Avoid repetition and incorrect phrasing (“green stuffs” → “green spaces”). Use linking words such as “because” and “for example.”

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city in Brazil because it is very large and lacks green spaces. For example, we have few trees and public gardens, so more parks would improve air quality and provide places for families to relax.

Sugestão: Start with a concise direct answer and then give specific examples using linking words like “for example” or “such as.” Avoid filler words and minor grammatical errors (e.g., “those ones” → “those parks”).

Exemplo: Not really — I don't have a particular park in mind for the future. For example, I usually visit the Domain, Victoria Park, and sometimes Long Bay Regional Park on the North Shore.

× I went to the park a lot of times with my friends and also my sister and my cousins and it was really fun.

✓ I went to the park many times with my friends, my sister, and my cousins, and it was really fun.

Using 'a lot of times' is informal and awkward; 'many times' is more natural for past tense. Also the list of people needs commas to separate items for clarity.

× We spent a a weekend there so we had picnics and also playing a lot together.

✓ We spent weekends there, so we had picnics and also played a lot together.

There is a repeated article 'a a' and incorrect verb form 'playing' after 'had'. In past tense coordinate verbs must be in past form: 'played'. Also 'a weekend' implies one weekend; context suggests repeated action so 'weekends' fits better.

× I really like to go for a walk or just sit there and uh, enjoying the view.

✓ I really like to go for a walk or just sit there and enjoy the view.

After 'sit' the base verb 'enjoy' is required, not the present participle 'enjoying'. The pattern is 'sit and enjoy' (parallel base forms).

× Also I like to go with my friends and sometimes I go with my residence from the work because I work in the retirement village, so I like to bring them out.

✓ Also I like to go with my friends, and sometimes I go with my residents from work because I work in a retirement village, so I like to take them out.

'Residence' is the noun for place; the intended word is 'residents' (people living there). Use plural 'residents'. 'From the work' is unnatural; 'from work' is correct. 'Bring them out' is acceptable but 'take them out' is more natural.

× In my city in Brazil, I really like to see more parks because, uh, there there's a big, is a big city.

✓ In my city in Brazil, I would really like to see more parks because it is a big city there.

The original repeats 'there' and mixes word order. Use 'it is a big city there' to state the idea clearly. Also 'would like' fits polite desire; keep tense consistent.

× So we don't see much like green stuffs or forest or parks or anything as I'm here as same here in Auckland.

✓ So we don't see much green space, like forests or parks, unlike here in Auckland.

'Much' with countable plural 'stuffs' is incorrect; 'stuffs' is nonstandard. Use 'green space' or 'green areas' and plural 'forests or parks'. 'Unlike here in Auckland' clarifies the contrast.

× So in Brazil, would you like to have more parks?

✓ So in Brazil, I would like to have more parks.

This sentence becomes a question addressed to the examiner but the student intends to express their own desire. Change to a statement 'I would like to have more parks.' to match context.

× No, really, I don't have a specific one to go.

✓ No, really, I don't have a specific park to go to.

The phrase 'specific one to go' is incomplete; specify 'specific park to go to'. Preposition 'to' belongs after 'go'.

× I usually go here in Auckland. I like the Domain Park and Victoria Park. Also sometimes I go, uh, in Long Bay Park over there in North Shore, so I like those ones.

✓ I usually go to parks here in Auckland. I like the Domain and Victoria Park. Also sometimes I go to Long Bay Regional Park over in the North Shore, so I like those ones.

Use 'go to' for places. 'The Domain Park' is commonly 'the Domain'; 'Long Bay Regional Park' is more precise. Add 'the' before 'North Shore' and 'over in' is more natural than 'over there in'.