Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 반복(uh, so 등)이 많으며 시제·어법 오류가 있습니다. 주제문으로 직접 답한 뒤 구체적 세부사항(어떤 애완동물인지, 어떤 활동을 했는지)을 2~3문장으로 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 감탄사와 중복을 제거하고 과거 시제를 일관되게 사용하세요. 예: 'When I was young, I enjoyed going to the park with my pet dog. We often played fetch near the pond, and I liked watching other children play.'

Exemplo: Yes. When I was a child, I enjoyed going to the park with my pet dog. We often played fetch near the pond and I liked watching other children on the swings. Those visits were a highlight of my weekends.

Sugestão: 문법(현재 시제·동사 형태)과 문장의 명확성이 부족합니다. 핵심 문장으로 직접 답하고 이유를 구체적으로 연결어로 제시하세요(so, because, therefore 등). 불필요한 음성적 표현(uh)과 애매한 표현('I got rid of a little bit')을 피하고 명확한 내용으로 바꾸세요. 예: 'Yes, I still go to the park because it helps me relax after work and I enjoy spending time with my girlfriend.'

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often go there after work because the fresh air helps me relax, and I like walking and talking with my girlfriend while we unwind. It’s a good way to clear my mind.

Sugestão: 대답이 단답형이고 이유 설명이 불충분하며 반복이 보입니다. 질문에 직접 답한 뒤 도시 계획 관련 견해(더 필요한지, 이미 충분한지)와 구체적 이유(대체 공간이 무엇인지: 운동장, 녹지 등)를 덧붙이세요. 연결어로 이유를 명확히 하세요. 예: 'No, I don't think it's necessary because there are already green spaces and playgrounds near my home.'

Exemplo: No, I don’t think more parks are necessary in my area. There are already several green spaces and public playgrounds nearby, so the current provision meets local needs. If anything, improving facilities in existing parks would be better.

Sugestão: 응답이 매우 모호하고 반복이 심하며 의미 전달이 불분명합니다. 질문에는 미래 계획이나 희망을 묻고 있으므로 간단히 주제문으로 답한 뒤 구체적 대상(어떤 공원, 이유, 누구와 갈지)을 제시하세요. 불필요한 망설임을 지우고 명확한 예를 드세요. 예: 'Yes, I’d like to visit a large national park with my future family because we could enjoy nature and relax together.'

Exemplo: Yes. In the future, I would like to visit a national park with my family. When I get married, I imagine taking weekend trips to a mountain park so we can hike, have picnics, and enjoy nature together.

× Yes, uh, when I was young I like going to the park with my pet. So, uh, I love.

✓ Yes, when I was young I liked going to the park with my pet, so I loved it.

The speaker describes past habits, so past simple should be used (liked, loved). Use 'loved it' to complete the thought. Suggestion: use past tense verbs for past time expressions (e.g., 'when I was young').

× Yes, I like go to park now because, uh, when I have to work, uh, I like. Praise fresh with fresh air and I like joke with my girlfriend nowadays. I got rid of a little bit.

✓ Yes, I like going to the park now because when I need to work I like it; it refreshes me with fresh air and I like joking with my girlfriend nowadays. I have relaxed a little bit.

After 'like' use the -ing form (going, joking). 'Have to' meaning obligation is better as 'need to' for this context. 'Praise fresh' is incorrect; use 'it refreshes me' or 'I feel refreshed'. 'I got rid of a little bit' is unclear; use present perfect 'I have relaxed a little bit' to show a change that affects now. Suggestions: use verb+ -ing after 'like', use correct verbs for intended meaning, and use present perfect for recent changes affecting the present.

× No, it's OK because nearby my home. There are there are substitutes.

✓ No, it's OK because there are parks near my home. There are substitutes.

Use 'near' before a noun phrase ('near my home') rather than 'nearby my home'. Also include the noun 'parks' for clarity. Remove duplicate 'there are'. Suggestions: place prepositions before nouns and avoid repetition.

× Hmm, I never thought about this, but uh, I think, uh, I would like to, uh, family stock because, uh, when I get married, uh, I, I think I would like go to.

✓ Hmm, I never thought about this, but I think I would like to visit family parks because when I get married I would like to go there with my family.

The original sentence is disfluent and missing verb forms and objects. 'Family stock' is unclear; likely 'family park' or 'family areas'—I used 'family parks'. After 'would like' use the base verb with 'to' (would like to visit). Also add 'there' or an object for clarity. Suggestions: plan sentence before speaking, use 'would like to + verb', and include clear nouns.