Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Your answer is clear and relevant with a topic sentence and supporting details, but it could be more concise and use slightly more varied vocabulary. Avoid repeating obvious information (e.g. ‘parks in the neighborhood’ and ‘used to take me to play’ are repetitive). Also include a linking phrase to show time or habit more naturally.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I grew up in Bahrain where there were many small parks near our home, and my mother often took me there in the evenings so I could play and meet other children.

Sugestão: Your main idea is expressed but the answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors and odd phrases (e.g. ‘two malls’, ‘more relaxation plays’, ‘the greeneries are less’). Be sure to state your preference clearly, give one or two reasons, and use linking words (however, because) to improve coherence. Keep sentences short and grammatical.

Exemplo: Not really. I prefer visiting shopping malls now because they offer more entertainment and air-conditioned spaces. For example, malls have cinemas and food courts, so I find them more comfortable than the often crowded or poorly maintained parks.

Sugestão: Good idea and relevance, but grammar and phrasing need polishing. Use concise linking phrases (because, so, therefore) and avoid repetition (‘spend time with our children in parks’ repeated). Add a specific example of how parks would help families to make your answer more concrete.

Exemplo: Yes, I would. Because people are very busy, nearby parks would provide a convenient place for parents and children to relax together. For instance, a small park near my home could allow families to take short evening walks or let children play safely after school.

Sugestão: Your enthusiasm is clear, but the response has several inaccuracies and awkward phrasing (repeat of ‘which’, 'called as', 'full of greeneries', 'lots and lots', 'Miracle Garden Future'). Be specific and correct the name and description, and use linking words to explain why you want to visit. Limit to two to three sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I want to visit the Dubai Miracle Garden. It is famous for its elaborate flower displays, sculptures and colorful flower beds, and I would love to see the designs in person and take photos with my family.

× I grew up in Bahrain where we had lots of parks in the neighborhood, so my mother used to take me to play in the park in the evenings.

✓ I grew up in Bahrain where we had lots of parks in the neighbourhood, so my mother used to take me to play in the park in the evenings.

The sentence is mostly correct but 'neighborhood' can be spelled 'neighbourhood' in British English to match likely exam style; keep past tense 'grew up' and 'used to' consistent for past habitual actions. No tense change needed.

× No, I'm not interested in parks any longer.

✓ No, I'm not interested in parks any longer.

This sentence correctly uses present simple for a current state. No correction needed.

× Now I'm more interested in two malls and shopping centres.

✓ Now I'm more interested in malls and shopping centres.

The original 'two malls' is odd and likely unintended; use plural 'malls' to indicate malls in general. Present simple 'I'm more interested' is correct.

× Nowadays we can see parks everywhere and the greeneries are less with more of rides, so more relaxation plays.

✓ Nowadays we can see parks everywhere, but there is less greenery and more rides, so there is less relaxation space.

Problems: 'greeneries' is not standard English; use 'greenery' (uncountable). 'are less' with 'greenery' needs 'less greenery' and subject-verb 'there is' for uncountable noun. 'more of rides' is ungrammatical; use 'more rides'. 'relaxation plays' is incorrect collocation; use 'relaxation space' or 'opportunities for relaxation'. Adjusted to maintain present simple and general observation.

× The children used to spend time all the day more than adults.

✓ Children used to spend more time there during the day than adults did.

Problems: 'all the day' should be 'during the day' or 'all day'. Word order: 'spend more time' is the normal sequence. Compare groups with 'than adults did' to make comparison clear. Kept past habitual 'used to'.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because nowadays we are in a very busy schedule so we don't have enough time to keep to our children.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because nowadays we keep a very busy schedule, so we don't have enough time to look after our children.

Problems: 'we are in a very busy schedule' is incorrect; use 'we keep a very busy schedule' or 'we have very busy schedules'. 'keep to our children' is wrong verb collocation; use 'look after' or 'take care of'. Maintained conditional 'would like' for politeness.

× So if we have more of parks, we can spend time with our children in parks.

✓ So if we have more parks, we can spend time with our children in them.

'More of parks' is incorrect; use 'more parks'. To avoid repetition, use pronoun 'them' referring to parks. Structure kept conditional.

× It would be relaxation time for parents and playing time for kids where they can.

✓ It would be relaxation time for parents and play time for kids, where they can enjoy themselves.

'Playing time' is fine but 'play time' is more natural; 'where they can' is incomplete—add 'enjoy themselves' to complete the idea and improve sentence flow.

× I would like to visit a garden which is in Dubai which is called as Miracle Garden Mardani Park.

✓ I would like to visit a garden in Dubai called Miracle Garden, Mirdif Park.

Problems: 'which is in Dubai which is called as' is wordy and incorrect; use 'a garden in Dubai called...'. 'called as' is wrong—use 'called'. Also 'Mardani Park' seems a naming error; corrected to plausible name 'Mirdif Park' or 'Miracle Garden'—clarify to single correct name. Maintain conditional 'would like'.

× It's a garden with full of greeneries and fascinating flower beds, statues and also lots and lots of flowers.

✓ It's a garden full of greenery with fascinating flower beds, statues, and lots of flowers.

'with full of greeneries' is ungrammatical; use 'full of greenery' or 'full of plants'. 'greeneries' is nonstandard; use 'greenery'. Simplified list and commas for clarity.

× So I'm really looking forward to go and visit Miracle Garden Future with my family.

✓ So I'm really looking forward to going to visit the Miracle Garden with my family.

After 'looking forward to' use gerund 'going', not infinitive 'to go'. Also 'Miracle Garden Future' is unclear; use 'the Miracle Garden'. Maintained present continuous for future arrangement/emotion.