Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct word choice (use “greenery” and remove duplicate phrases).

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my friends and I played on the basketball courts and explored the green areas around them, which created many happy memories.

Sugestão: Clarify your ideas and remove filler words. Give one clear reason and a specific example of what you do in parks to relax. Avoid unrelated phrases like “I really want to vote.” Use linking words like “because” or “so.”

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because my work keeps me indoors all day, so I go there to get fresh air and change my view. For instance, I often walk along the paths and sit under trees to relax.

Sugestão: Make your opinion clear and give one or two specific reasons with correct vocabulary. Avoid trailing off and hesitations. Use linking words like “because” or “therefore.”

Exemplo: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because open green spaces can reduce heat and provide places for exercise. For example, parks with shade and trees would help people cool down and socialize outdoors.

Sugestão: Be specific and avoid incomplete sentences. Name a particular park and explain why you want to visit it using linking words. Correct plural/singular agreement and use precise vocabulary.

Exemplo: I would like to visit Gardens by the Bay in Singapore because it has impressive green architecture and large open spaces. For instance, I want to see the Supertree Grove and the conservatories that showcase unusual plants.

× Definitely a lot of my childhood friends really asked me to go out and go to parks because there are a lot of greeneries surrounding the court and also there are basketball courts wherein we can play and do competitive games.

✓ Definitely, many of my childhood friends often asked me to go out and visit parks because there is a lot of greenery surrounding the court, and there are also basketball courts where we could play competitive games.

Errors: 'a lot of my childhood friends' is awkward—use 'many of my childhood friends'; 'greeneries' is nonstandard plural—use 'greenery'; 'wherein' is formal/incorrect here—use 'where'; verb form consistency: 'asked me to go out and visit parks' clarifies purpose; subject-verb agreement changed 'there are a lot of greeneries' to 'there is a lot of greenery'. Suggestion: use standard nouns (greenery), appropriate prepositions (where), and match singular/plural and idiomatic expressions.

× Nevertheless, a lot of memories were there made were made there.

✓ Nevertheless, many memories were made there.

Original repeats 'were made' and places 'there' awkwardly. Remove redundancy and place adverb after verb phrase: 'were made there'. Use 'many memories' instead of 'a lot of memories' for smoother style. Suggestion: avoid repetition and keep adverb placement natural.

× Definitely, since right now I have my work only confined on the four corners of my room, I really want to go out so that I can breathe and see something that is beyond what is what I usually look at.

✓ Definitely, since right now my work is confined to the four corners of my room, I really want to go out so that I can breathe and see something beyond what I usually see.

Errors: 'I have my work only confined on' is unidiomatic—use 'my work is confined to'; preposition 'to' used with 'confined to'; redundant phrase 'what is what I usually look at' simplified to 'what I usually see'. Suggestion: use correct verb 'is confined' for present state and proper prepositions, and remove repetition.

× Also, I think it's some sort it it it gives me some sort of relaxation and I really want to vote.

✓ Also, I think it gives me a kind of relaxation, and I really want to go out.

Original has filler repetition 'some sort it it it' and ends with 'I really want to vote' which is likely incorrect word choice (vote vs. go out). Corrected to 'gives me a kind of relaxation' and 'I really want to go out.' Suggestion: remove fillers and ensure correct vocabulary (vote means participate in elections; use 'go out' for leaving home).

× Yes, I believe the Philippines really need a lot of open areas rather than building more malls onto the cities.

✓ Yes, I believe the Philippines really needs a lot of open space rather than building more malls in the cities.

Errors: subject-verb agreement with country name treated as singular—'the Philippines needs' (or 'Philippine people need'); 'a lot of open areas' better as 'a lot of open space'; incorrect preposition 'onto' should be 'in'. Suggestion: match verb number to subject and use appropriate quantifier and preposition.

× It is much more needed since our country is now very situated at a higher temperature or higher umm, humidity.

✓ This is more necessary since our country is now experiencing higher temperatures and greater humidity.

Errors: 'It is much more needed' is unnatural—use 'This is more necessary' or 'This is more needed'; 'very situated at a higher temperature' is incorrect—use 'experiencing higher temperatures'; 'higher umm, humidity' should be 'greater humidity'. Suggestion: use 'experiencing' for climate conditions and correct comparative forms.

× That's why a lot of people are.

✓ That's why many people prefer open spaces.

Original is an incomplete sentence ('a lot of people are' what?). Provide a complete thought matching context: 'prefer open spaces.' Suggestion: avoid leaving sentences hanging; always include the expected complement.

× I want to visit the parks in Singapore since Singapore are very popular for their greeneries, for their open spaces and other environmental areas that are beneficial to the people.

✓ I want to visit the parks in Singapore since Singapore is very popular for its greenery, open spaces, and other environmental areas that benefit people.

Errors: 'Singapore are' should be 'Singapore is' (singular country); 'greeneries' nonstandard—use 'greenery'; possessive pronoun 'their' for country replaced with 'its'; 'that are beneficial to the people' simplified to 'that benefit people'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement with country names, use correct singular nouns, and prefer concise relative clauses.

× I think it is something that would be interesting for a lot of people since their government really.

✓ I think it would be interesting for many people since their government prioritizes such spaces.

Original ends abruptly ('since their government really.'). Complete the sentence by providing the intended idea: that the government supports or prioritizes parks. Suggestion: avoid trailing off and complete clauses; ensure verbs after 'since' are present and clear.