Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more direct in your topic sentence, correct grammar and avoid fillers. Add a short reason with one specific detail and use linking words to connect ideas. Limit to 2–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Not really. My parents were strict when I was a child, so I usually stayed at home rather than going to parks. Because of that, I rarely played with friends outdoors, which made those years quite quiet.

Sugestão: Give a clear short answer first, then one or two specific reasons. Avoid repetition and fix grammar. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to structure your reply.

Exemplo: Not really. I don’t visit parks often because I don’t own a pet and I’m not interested in exercise activities. Therefore, parks are not a big attraction for me right now.

Sugestão: Answer directly and give clear, relevant benefits with correct vocabulary. Avoid unclear phrases and fillers. Use linking words to list reasons and finish the sentence with a complete idea.

Exemplo: Yes, I would. More parks would improve the environment by increasing green space and providing places for exercise. Also, seeing people walking dogs makes public areas feel friendlier and livelier.

Sugestão: Provide a clear response and, if unsure, mention a specific type or example to sound more natural. Use linking words and avoid hesitation phrases. Give a brief reason for your choice.

Exemplo: I’m not certain, but I would probably visit a famous national park in the future because it would offer impressive scenery and a chance to experience nature I don’t usually see in the city.

× He didn't like me and my sister to hang out with my friends in, you know, outside.

✓ He didn't like me and my sister hanging out with my friends outside.

The phrase 'in, you know, outside' is an incorrect and awkward use of prepositions and filler. Use the gerund 'hanging out' after 'like' when expressing dislike of an activity, and place the preposition 'outside' directly after the verb phrase. Suggestion: use 'didn't like ... hanging out outside.'

× Well, just a little like ask Atrew, I a kid, I not really into parks 'cause I don't really have a pet and I don't really do a cardio exercises or so. So no.

✓ Well, not really. Even as a kid, I wasn't really into parks because I didn't have a pet and I didn't do cardio exercises, so no.

Multiple tense and grammatical problems: 'I a kid, I not really' lacks verb and correct past tense; use past tense 'I wasn't' and 'I didn't' to match 'as a kid'. 'do a cardio exercises' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'cardio exercises' without 'a' or use 'a cardio workout.' Also remove unclear phrase 'like ask Atrew.' Suggestion: keep consistent past tense when referring to childhood and correct article-noun agreement.

× 'cause when uh, the Moorpark we get, we can get more cheese and it helps our environment and also seeing people walking their dogs make me feel.

✓ Because when we get more parks, we can get more green space and it helps our environment, and seeing people walking their dogs makes me feel happy.

Several issues: 'the Moorpark' is incorrect article and likely mis-saying 'more parks'; replace with 'more parks'. 'get more cheese' is an incorrect word choice: probably 'green space' or 'trees'. Subject-verb agreement: 'seeing people... make me feel' should be 'makes me feel' because 'seeing' is singular gerund subject. Also sentence lacked a clear complement after 'feel'; add 'happy' or similar. Suggestion: choose correct nouns ('parks', 'green space') and match verb to gerund subject.

× I'm not really sure 'cause I'm not really, you know, I don't focus on National Park or local parks.

✓ I'm not really sure because I don't focus on national parks or local parks.

Tense and article/capitalization issues: 'I'm not really, you know, I don't focus' is repetitive; use present simple 'I don't focus' for general habit. 'National Park' should be plural 'national parks' and lowercase unless proper name. Suggestion: use plural when talking generally and avoid filler words.

× I probably would go to the famous 1, I think.

✓ I would probably go to a famous one, I think.

Numeric '1' is incorrect in formal speech and 'famous' needs a noun: 'one' as pronoun stands for 'park'. Also article use: use 'a famous one' or 'the famous one' depending on context. Suggestion: use 'a famous one' to refer to an unspecified famous park.