Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be clearer and more coherent: start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., ‘playing in the park’, ‘part of my neighbourhood’). Avoid repetition and unfinished sentences. Keep answers to 3–4 sentences and use linking words (for example, ‘because’ or ‘so’) to show relationships.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to the park when I was a child. There was a park in my neighbourhood next to my house, so I spent a lot of time there after school. Many children used it for extracurricular activities, and I often played football with my friends because there was a large open field.

Sugestão: Give a direct topic sentence, then explain reasons concisely and use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘however’. Fix grammar (e.g., ‘I work all week’, ‘I prefer to stay at home’, ‘housework’). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid filler sounds (‘uh’).

Exemplo: I do still like parks, but I rarely go now because I work all week. At weekends I usually prefer to stay at home to finish housework and other pending tasks. However, if I have free time, I try to visit a park to relax and get some exercise.

Sugestão: Good idea and supporting reason. Improve grammatical accuracy and use concise linking phrases (e.g., ‘because’, ‘for example’). Make the explanation more specific: mention what benefits you and the community would gain. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because green spaces make neighbourhoods more attractive and improve air quality by absorbing carbon dioxide. For example, a park in my housing community would allow me to walk there easily and exercise regularly, which would benefit my health and social life.

Sugestão: Provide a clear topic sentence naming the park, then give one or two specific reasons and use linking words (e.g., ‘because’, ‘so’). Correct vocabulary (e.g., ‘a new park that recently opened in my neighbourhood’, ‘I am fond of lush greenery’, ‘a small excursion with my family’). Avoid trailing sentences and unfinished thoughts.

Exemplo: If I have time, I would like to visit a new park that recently opened in my neighbourhood because I am fond of lush greenery. I would probably go on the weekend with my family for a short excursion, enjoy a walk and maybe have a picnic together.

× Definitely, I loved putting the box when I was a child and there was a part in my society next to my house, so I spent a lot of time there after school.

✓ Definitely, I loved playing in the park when I was a child, and there was a park in my neighborhood next to my house, so I spent a lot of time there after school.

The original sentence has wrong word choice ('putting the box'), unclear noun ('part' instead of 'park'), and awkward structure. This is a sentence structure and word choice issue. Replace incorrect words with appropriate ones ('playing in the park', 'park', 'neighborhood') and join clauses with 'and' for clarity. Keep past tense to match 'I was a child'.

× Many people also used a park for extracurricular activities and I I remember I played football with my.

✓ Many people also used the park for extracurricular activities, and I remember playing football with my friends.

Problems: double 'I', missing object ('with my' should be 'with my friends'), and awkward verb construction. Use 'used the park' (definite article) and change 'I remember I played' to 'I remember playing' for natural speech. This fixes sentence structure and completes the thought.

× Uh, in my case, I am a busy woman and I have to work all the week and in the weekend I usually prefer to remain in my house and so that I can do my house chores and complete my, uh, pending tasks.

✓ Uh, I am a busy woman and I have to work all week, and on the weekend I usually prefer to stay at home so that I can do my house chores and complete my pending tasks.

Issues: incorrect preposition 'all the week' should be 'all week', 'in the weekend' should be 'on the weekend', and awkward phrasing 'remain in my house' should be 'stay at home'. These are present tense and preposition usage problems. Use simple present for habitual actions and correct prepositions.

× But I would like to go parks whenever I have time.

✓ But I would like to go to parks whenever I have time.

Missing preposition 'to' before 'parks' causing sentence structure error. Use 'go to parks' to form correct verb + preposition combination.

× Definitely, I would love to have more parks or green spaces in my city because there make neighborhoods more attractive when you improve the air quality by absorbing carbon dioxide and releasing oxygen.

✓ Definitely, I would love to have more parks or green spaces in my city because they make neighborhoods more attractive and improve air quality by absorbing carbon dioxide and releasing oxygen.

Problems: 'there make neighborhoods' is ungrammatical; use subject 'they' to refer to parks. Also split ideas: parks both make neighborhoods attractive and improve air quality. This fixes sentence structure and subject reference.

× I would especially appreciate if a park in my housing community so that I could walk there easily and exercise regularly.

✓ I would especially appreciate having a park in my housing community so that I could walk there easily and exercise regularly.

Missing verb phrase; 'I would appreciate if a park in my...' is incorrect. Use 'appreciate having a park' or 'appreciate it if there were a park'. This corrects conjunction and sentence structure, and maintains conditional meaning.

× Well, if I have a time to go outside, so I would definitely visit apartment that is recently opened in my society and I as I have affection, I am affectionate to lush greenery.

✓ Well, if I have time to go outside, I would definitely visit the apartment that recently opened in my neighborhood because I am very fond of lush greenery.

Multiple errors: unnecessary 'a' in 'a time', extraneous 'so', missing articles ('the apartment'), awkward 'in my society' (use 'neighborhood'), and awkward phrasing 'I have affection, I am affectionate to'. This revises sentence structure, article use, and word choice to be natural.

× I would definitely go on weekend with my families.

✓ I would definitely go on the weekend with my family.

'Families' is incorrect; likely meant 'family' (singular collective). Use definite article 'the weekend'. This fixes pronoun/number and article errors.

× It would be a little excurient for us and we spent.

✓ It would be a little excursion for us, and we would enjoy it.

'Excurient' is not an English word; use 'excursion'. The clause 'we spent' is incomplete. Provide a complete clause such as 'we would enjoy it' to finish the thought. This corrects word choice and sentence structure.