Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: 回答直接，原因也比较清楚，但“scenario”和“fill”用词不准确，应改为“scenery”和“fresh air”。另外，最好加入一个更具体的结果或频率，例如每天步行多久。注意使用自然表达：“walk to school and my tutorial classes”比“walk to school and to my tutorial classes”更简洁。

Exemplo: Yes, I walk quite a lot. I usually walk to school and to my tutorial classes because they are nearby. I enjoy the scenery and the fresh air, and the walk helps me relax and clear my mind before class.

Sugestão: 内容相关，并且提供了祖父、海港和饮料等具体细节，但语法和时态问题较多。“brought me for walk”应改为“took me for walks”，“when we after the dinner”应改为“after dinner”，“we'll walk”应改为过去时“we would walk”。避免使用“some Coke”，可以说“a bottle of Coke”。

Exemplo: Yes, quite often. When I was a child, my grandfather used to take me for walks after dinner or in the afternoon. We would walk to the harbour, enjoy the sea breeze, and sometimes have a bottle of Coke together.

Sugestão: 你给出了多个例子，这是优点，但开头缺少完整的主题句，而且句子连接不自然，重复使用“some”和“maybe”。“types of people”不够自然，建议说“people of different ages”。应使用清晰的连接词，例如“for example”和“as a result”，并保持平行结构。

Exemplo: People like walking in parks because parks are relaxing and offer activities for people of all ages. For example, older people can play chess, teenagers can go jogging, and children can play on the grass. Parks also provide a pleasant break from busy city life.

Sugestão: 回答有明确地点和原因，也使用了声音描写，内容较具体。“we're next to the harbour”应改为“along the harbour”或“near the harbour”，“waterflow”应改为“flowing water”，“the wave”应改为“the waves”。“personal occasion”不合适，应使用“personal issues”或“my thoughts”。

Exemplo: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along the harbour. I love the sea, and I could listen to the sound of the waves, flowing water, and seagulls. The peaceful surroundings would help me think deeply and clear my mind.

Sugestão: 地点和个人感受比较具体，但答案没有完成，影响表达的完整性和有效性。“mountain co garden site”需要确认并改成准确地点名称；“when I finished my dinner”应改为“after dinner”，“I look back”应改为过去时“I looked back”，“gave me feel relaxed”应改为“made me feel relaxed”。建议用3至4个完整句子说明时间、地点、活动和感受。

Exemplo: I recently went for a walk at a mountain park in Hong Kong after dinner. I walked to the top of the mountain and looked out over the city lights. The beautiful scenery and fresh air made me feel relaxed, so it was a very enjoyable walk.

× my grandfather always brought me for walk

✓ My grandfather always took me for a walk

“walk”是可数名词，表示“去散步”时通常要说“take someone for a walk”，其中“a”不能省略。“bring me for walk”也不是最自然的搭配。建议记住固定表达“take someone for a walk”。

× when we after the dinner or even during the afternoon so we'll walk to the harbour

✓ when we finished dinner, even in the afternoon, so we would walk to the harbour

这段内容描述的是童年时的经历，因此应使用过去时。“we'll walk”是将来时，不适合过去的叙述；可以使用“we would walk”表示过去经常性的动作。句子中“when we”后面也缺少动词，所以应改为“when we finished dinner”。

× after the dinner

✓ after dinner

“dinner”表示一日三餐时通常不加冠词，因此应说“after dinner”，而不是“after the dinner”。只有在特指某一顿晚餐时，才可能使用“the dinner”。

× some of the old adults may play some chess or some young teenagers maybe having some exercise like running or some child playing in the park

✓ Some older adults may play chess, some young teenagers may do some exercise such as running, and some children may play in the park.

情态动词“may”后面必须接动词原形，因此应使用“may do”和“may play”，不能使用“maybe having”或“playing”。注意“maybe”是副词，表示“可能”，而“may be”是情态动词加系动词，不能混用。

× some child playing in the park

✓ some children may play in the park

“some”后面如果表示不确定数量的人，通常接复数可数名词，因此“child”应改为“children”。同时，为了和前面的“may play”保持平行，后面也应使用“may play”。

× some of the old adults may play some chess or some young teenagers maybe having some exercise like running or some child playing in the park

✓ Some older adults may play chess, some young teenagers may do some exercise such as running, and some children may play in the park.

原句使用多个“or”连接不同类别的人，但这里是在列举公园里可能发生的不同活动，并不是表示二选一，因此使用“and”更合适。列举多个并列成分时，应保持连接方式一致。

× I would like to take a long walk we're next to the harbour

✓ I would like to take a long walk where I could be next to the harbour

“I would like to take a long walk”后面不能直接接“we're next to the harbour”，因为两个分句之间缺少连接词。这里可以使用“where”连接地点从句。由于主句使用“would like”，后面的假设性内容使用“could be”会更协调。

× the waterflow, the wave, the seagulls

✓ the flow of the water, the waves, and the seagulls

这里列举的是多个海浪，所以“wave”应使用复数“waves”。“the waterflow”虽然可以理解，但“the flow of the water”表达更清楚。列举三个项目时，最后一项前通常加“and”。

× when I walked to the top of the mountain, I look back through of the cities and I think this wonderful scenarios gave me feel relaxed

✓ When I walked to the top of the mountain, I looked out over the city and thought that this wonderful scenery made me feel relaxed.

这句话描述的是过去发生的事情，所以“look”和“think”应改为过去式“looked”和“thought”。在“looked out over”这个短语中不需要使用“through of”。另外，“scenery”是不可数名词，不能使用复数形式“scenarios”。

× this wonderful scenarios

✓ this wonderful scenery

“this”后面应接单数名词，而“scenarios”是复数，且意思是“情境”，不符合这里的语境。表示自然景色时应使用不可数名词“scenery”，所以应说“this wonderful scenery”。

× this wonderful scenarios gave me feel relaxed

✓ this wonderful scenery made me feel relaxed

“give”不能直接按照“give someone feel”这种结构使用。表示“使某人感到……”时，应使用“make + 人 + 动词原形”，因此应说“made me feel relaxed”。同时，前面的“scenarios”应改为符合语境的“scenery”。