Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Reduce fillers (uh, so) and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas.

Exemplo: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually start my day with a morning walk and I often walk to nearby buses or shops because I don’t have a car, so walking is part of my daily routine.

Sugestão: Answer directly and add a clear supporting detail. Avoid uncertain phrasing like “I don't really remember” without offering a concrete memory. Use linking words to show contrast or clarification.

Exemplo: I don’t recall going on long walks as a child, but I often went out with my mother to the streets and shopping malls, which I found enjoyable because we could spend time together and explore different shops.

Sugestão: Give a clearer topic sentence and two specific reasons with examples. Replace vague words (scenario, things) with precise vocabulary (scenery, fresh air, benches, paths). Remove hesitations and the phrase “I guess.”

Exemplo: People like walking in parks because of the pleasant scenery and the peaceful atmosphere. For example, parks have trees, ponds and quiet paths where people can relax or exercise away from traffic.

Sugestão: Be concise and provide specific details about the place and reasons why you want to walk there. Remove fillers and repeat vocabulary. Use linking phrases to connect reasons.

Exemplo: I would like to take a long walk to the World Peace Pagoda (Stupa) in Pokhara. It offers beautiful green hills and lake views, and the hiking trails are peaceful, so it would be a relaxing and scenic walk.

Sugestão: Provide a clear past-tense response with concise details: who, where, when, and one reason why it was memorable. Remove hesitations and correct tense/agreement errors.

Exemplo: Recently I walked to the lakeside with friends. We set off at 4:00 AM and returned around 7:00 AM; the sunrise over the lake made the hike especially memorable.

× Uh, it usually depends on my work or my daily routine, but uh, in the early morning, I usually start my day with walking, so, and I don't have any personal transportation, so I get to get by walking to any means of transportation.

✓ Uh, it usually depends on my work or my daily routine, but in the early morning I usually start my day by walking, and I don't have any personal transportation, so I get by walking to any means of transportation.

The original contains awkward verb forms and unnecessary repetitions. 'Start my day with walking' is less natural than 'start my day by walking' (use of gerund after preposition 'by' for manner). 'I get to get by walking' repeats verbs; correct is 'I get by walking' meaning I manage by walking. Remove filler 'so, and' for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'start my day by walking' and avoid repeated verbs or fillers.

× Uh, remembering my childhood, I don't uh, really remember, uh, me walking much, but I remember going to streets or going to some shopping malls with my mother and it was quite enjoyable.

✓ Uh, remembering my childhood, I don't really remember walking much, but I remember going to the streets or going to some shopping malls with my mother, and it was quite enjoyable.

The reflexive/oblique pronoun 'me' is unnecessary after 'remember'; use the base gerund 'walking'. Also 'going to streets' needs the definite article 'the streets' when speaking generally about familiar streets. Remove extra fillers and add a comma for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'remember walking' and include appropriate articles ('the streets').

× Uh, mostly people prefer to walk in park because of the scenario in the park and the peace in the park.

✓ Uh, mostly people prefer to walk in parks because of the scenery and the peace there.

'Walk in park' needs plural or definite article: 'in parks' or 'in the park'. 'Scenario' is the wrong word; the correct word for views is 'scenery'. Repeating 'in the park' is redundant; use 'there' or restructure sentence. Use plural 'parks' to match general statement. Suggestion: Say 'prefer to walk in parks' and 'because of the scenery and the peace there.'

× People really enjoy the things that are in the park and they usually like moving around, I guess.

✓ People really enjoy the things in the park and they usually like moving around, I guess.

Unnecessary relative clause 'that are' can be omitted: 'things in the park' is more natural. Overall present simple is fine. Keep informal 'I guess' at end with comma separation. Suggestion: Omit unnecessary words for smoother speech.

× If I get any option of uh, long walk, I would definitely go to Stupa.

✓ If I had the option of a long walk, I would definitely go to the Stupa.

This is a second conditional (hypothetical): the correct structure is 'If I had...', not 'If I get...'. Also 'option of uh, long walk' needs article 'a' and 'the Stupa' is specific so 'the' is appropriate. Suggestion: Use 'If I had the option... I would...' for hypothetical situations.

× It is located in Pokhara City and the hiking it is a really nice place.

✓ It is located in Pokhara City, and it is a really nice place for hiking.

The original 'the hiking it is a really nice place' is ungrammatical. Reorder to 'a really nice place for hiking' to express purpose. Add comma between clauses. Suggestion: Use 'a nice place for hiking' to show intended activity.

× People can enjoy the scenery, green scenery and it's really interesting to go there.

✓ People can enjoy the green scenery, and it's really interesting to go there.

Repeating 'scenery' is redundant; combine adjectives and noun as 'green scenery'. Add conjunction 'and' to join clauses. Present tense is appropriate. Suggestion: Say 'enjoy the green scenery'.

× Umm, last time I went to a lakeside area with my friends by walking, uh, it was quite a memorable hiking for us.

✓ Umm, last time I walked to a lakeside area with my friends; it was quite a memorable hike for us.

'By walking' is wordy; use 'walked to'. 'Memorable hiking' is incorrect noun form — use 'memorable hike'. Past simple 'I walked' matches 'last time' context. Suggestion: Use 'walked to' and 'a memorable hike'.

× We start, uh, in the early morning at 4:00 AM and we return it about 7:00 AM in the morning.

✓ We started in the early morning at 4:00 AM and returned at about 7:00 AM.

Narration of past event requires past simple 'started' and 'returned'. Remove unnecessary pronoun 'it' after 'return'. 'At about 7:00 AM' is sufficient; omit 'in the morning' as AM already indicates morning. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs and avoid extraneous pronouns.

× So yeah, I walk a lot.

✓ So yeah, I walk a lot.

This sentence is grammatically correct in present simple to describe habitual action. No change necessary. Suggestion: None.