Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence saying whether you walk often, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like "you can't work on roadside." Use correct grammar and simpler vocabulary where necessary.

Exemplo: I don't walk a lot. Usually I walk only when the weather is pleasant or when I have free time because there are no safe parks near my home. Also, walking along busy roads feels dangerous and noisy, so I prefer to stay indoors or walk in quieter areas.

Sugestão: Use the past tense correctly and avoid repetition. Give a clear topic sentence about frequency, then add one or two specific details (who, where, what you saw) with linking words. Correct pronoun and verb forms.

Exemplo: Yes, I often went for walks as a child, usually with my parents, especially my father. We explored parks and countryside near our town, and I remember enjoying the trees, birds and open fields during those walks.

Sugestão: Be more precise and avoid vague phrases like "overall atmosphere" and "chance of a exit." State clear reasons and support them with examples, using linking words (for example, because, therefore). Improve word choice (noise pollution, safety).

Exemplo: People prefer walking in parks because the environment is calm and green, which reduces stress. For example, parks have fewer cars and less noise pollution, and they are generally safer than busy roads, so people can relax while they walk.

Sugestão: Begin directly ("I would like...") and avoid unnecessary words. Give one or two specific reasons why this place appeals to you (scenery, wildlife, climate) and use linking words. Correct small errors like "along with the work."

Exemplo: I would like to take a long walk in Deosai National Park in Skardu because it is peaceful and offers spectacular mountain scenery. Also, the wide plains and chance to see wildlife would make the walk memorable and relaxing.

Sugestão: Use the past tense and clear sentence structure. Say where you went, when, and give specific details about what you liked. Avoid filler phrases and correct word order ("I visited the bridge" not "I visit").

Exemplo: Lately I visited the bridge near my house that crosses the river at night. The view of the illuminated water and the surrounding lights is beautiful, so I often choose that spot when I want a pleasant evening walk.

× Yeah, it depends on the overall atmosphere of the day. I walk. I don't walk too much because of the unavailability of parks close to my area because you can't work on roadside because of the accident issues. So I usually prefer it.

✓ Yeah, it depends on the overall atmosphere of the day. I walk, but I don't walk much because there are no parks near my area and you can't walk on the roadside because of accident risks. So I usually prefer parks.

The student uses inconsistent and incorrect present-tense forms and wrong vocabulary. 'I walk' is acceptable but repetitive; 'I don't walk too much' is okay but can be simplified to 'I don't walk much'. 'Unavailability of parks close to my area' is wordy and uses wrong preposition; use 'there are no parks near my area'. 'You can't work on roadside' uses wrong verb and missing article; it should be 'walk on the roadside' and 'because of the accident issues' should be 'because of accident risks'. Suggest using simple present with correct noun phrases and prepositions.

× Yes, I often go outside for a walk when I was child, but with my parents, especially with my father, he took took me with, he took me with him for a walk and explore a lot of natural views with and I explore a lot of natural views with them and yes, I go.

✓ Yes, I often went outside for walks when I was a child, usually with my parents, especially my father; he took me with him to walk and explore many natural sights with them.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses. The context asks about the past, so use past tense: 'go' -> 'went', 'when I was child' -> 'when I was a child'. Repeated fragments and incorrect verb forms: 'he took took me with' -> 'he took me with him', 'explore' should be past 'explored' or rephrased as 'to explore'. Also 'natural views' is better as 'natural sights'. Recommend keeping verbs consistently in past tense and removing repetitions.

× Uh, people like to walk in parks because of the overall atmosphere, uh, park provides them. And if you walk along the roadside then there will be definitely a chance of a exit. And there is also a noise pollution, uh, near the road. So people enjoy the calm and quiet atmosphere for walk. So they usually prefer parks.

✓ People like to walk in parks because of the overall atmosphere the park provides. If you walk along the roadside, there is a definite risk of an accident, and there is also noise pollution near the road. So people enjoy the calm and quiet atmosphere for walking; therefore they usually prefer parks.

Tense is present but sentences have article and noun issues. 'uh, park provides them' lacks article and object placement; 'the park provides'. 'There will be definitely a chance of a exit' incorrect article and phrasing; use 'there is a definite risk of an accident'. 'a noise pollution' should be 'noise pollution' (uncountable, no article). 'for walk' should be 'for walking'. Advice: use correct articles, uncountable noun usage, and gerund after preposition.

× Yes, I would like to take a long walk at Deosai National Park in Skardu because it's a quite relaxing and peaceful place and provides a natural view along with the work and I think it's the most incredible place to walk.

✓ I would like to take a long walk in Deosai National Park in Skardu because it's quite relaxing and peaceful and provides beautiful natural views; I think it's an incredible place to walk.

Use of preposition 'at' is acceptable but 'in' is more natural for a park. 'it's a quite relaxing' incorrectly uses article with 'quite' — use 'quite relaxing' without 'a'. 'provides a natural view along with the work' is unclear and likely wrong vocabulary; replace with 'provides beautiful natural views'. 'the most incredible' is hyperbolic and unnecessary; 'an incredible place' fits. Keep conditional 'would like' and present descriptions concise.

× Uh, lately I visit the bridge near my house, which is above over the, which is under the which is over the river and that's at night time. It's an incredible place and shows such a enormous views, so I usually have prefer it when I have to walk lately.

✓ Lately I visited the bridge near my house that goes over the river at night. It's an incredible place and offers such enormous views, so I usually prefer it when I go for a walk.

The time adverb 'lately' requires present perfect or past simple depending on meaning. 'Lately I visit' is incorrect; use 'I visited' if speaking of a specific recent visit or 'I have visited' for recent experiences. The clause describing the bridge is confused; 'which is above over the, which is under the which is over the river' is redundant — simplify to 'that goes over the river'. 'shows such a enormous views' has article and adjective errors: 'such enormous views' or 'such an enormous view' and 'shows' -> 'offers' is more natural. 'I usually have prefer it' wrong verb form; use 'I usually prefer it' and 'when I go for a walk'.