Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid comparative phrasing that is vague. Use vocabulary appropriate to daily activities (e.g., 'take the dog for a walk', 'scenery', 'exercise').

Exemplo: Yes, I walk regularly. For example, I take my dog for a 30-minute walk around the neighborhood most evenings, which helps me relax and enjoy the scenery.

Sugestão: Open with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific details with a linking word ('for example', 'because'). Keep sentences shorter and avoid listing too many subjects at once.

Exemplo: Yes, I often went for walks as a child. For example, my brother and I would walk with our caretaker to the park to play or to look at the pond because it was a pleasant way to spend the afternoon.

Sugestão: Begin with a clear opinion then give two distinct, specific reasons using linking words ('because', 'also'). Avoid repeating phrases like 'get their mind off things' and 'just'.

Exemplo: People like walking in parks because it reduces stress and improves mood. Also, parks offer fresh air and chances to meet others, for instance during community walks or dog-walking groups.

Sugestão: Use a present conditional structure and be concise. Start with 'I would like to...' then give one clear reason and a specific detail. Avoid unnecessary repetition ('view' and 'air' repeated).

Exemplo: I would like to hike up a nearby hill. I enjoy hiking because the panoramic views and fresh mountain air make the effort feel rewarding.

Sugestão: Provide a direct response, then add a specific detail about frequency, duration, or route. Remove filler words like 'just' and avoid negative 'we don't really go much'—instead give factual information.

Exemplo: Lately I have been walking around my neighborhood with my dog three or four times a week. We usually walk for about 30 minutes along the main street and around the small village park.

× Yes, I walk often but I don't really walk as much compared to people who are very active or the ones who try to get more or around 10,000 steps a day.

✓ Yes, I walk often, but I don't walk as much as people who are very active or who try to get around 10,000 steps a day.

The original uses awkward comparative structure 'as much compared to' and extra words 'more or' that make the sentence ungrammatical. Use 'as much as' for comparisons and remove redundant words. Also include a comma before 'but' to join the two independent clauses. Suggestion: Use 'as much as' when comparing amounts and avoid adding extra words that break the comparison.

× But I often go on walks with my dog and watch beautiful sceneries.

✓ But I often go on walks with my dog and see beautiful scenery.

'Watch beautiful sceneries' is unidiomatic: 'scenery' is an uncountable noun and 'see' is more natural than 'watch' for landscapes. Plural 'sceneries' is incorrect in this context. Suggestion: Use 'scenery' (uncountable) and verbs like 'see' or 'enjoy' for views.

× Yes, when I was a child my brother and I along with our caretaker, we would always go on walks in order to get to the park or just enjoy the view of the pond or playground.

✓ Yes, when I was a child my brother and I, along with our caretaker, would always go on walks to get to the park or to enjoy the view of the pond or the playground.

The original has a redundant subject 'my brother and I... we' causing a sentence structure error. Remove the extra 'we' and properly punctuate the phrase 'along with our caretaker' with commas. Use parallel infinitives 'to get' and 'to enjoy' for clarity.

× People probably like to walk in parks to ease their mind or to get their mind off of things, especially when they are stressed or facing certain problems.

✓ People probably like to walk in parks to ease their minds or to get their minds off things, especially when they are stressed or facing problems.

Agreement: 'mind' should be plural 'minds' to match plural subject 'people'. Also 'get their mind off of things' is informal; 'get their minds off things' is more natural. 'Certain' before 'problems' is unnecessary here. Suggestion: Ensure plural agreement with people and avoid informal 'off of'.

× Apart from that, it could also be because they just want to meet new people or to just enjoy the fresh air.

✓ Apart from that, it could also be because they want to meet new people or simply enjoy the fresh air.

Redundant use of 'just' twice is stylistically weak. Use 'simply' for variety and remove the extra 'to' before 'just enjoy' to keep parallel structure. Suggestion: Keep parallel verb forms and avoid repeating the same filler word.

× I tried to be very active lately so I would want to go hiking or take long walks up a hill because I also believe that the view once I finish would be much more worth it and I would get to enjoy the air and the view much better.

✓ I've been trying to be very active lately, so I would like to go hiking or take long walks up a hill because I believe the view when I finish would be worth it and I would enjoy the air and the scenery more.

The original mixes past simple 'tried' with 'lately' (which requires present perfect) and uses awkward phrases 'much more worth it' and 'get to enjoy ... much better'. Use present perfect progressive 'I've been trying' for recent ongoing action. 'Would want' is better as 'would like' or 'I want'; here 'would like' fits a hypothetical polite tone. Replace 'once I finish' with 'when I finish' and 'the view' with 'the scenery' for variety. Suggestion: Match tense to 'lately' with present perfect, use natural collocations like 'worth it' and 'enjoy the scenery'.

× Lately I've just been going on walks around our neighborhood and taking my dog to go around the village, so we don't really go much.

✓ Lately I've just been taking walks around our neighborhood and walking my dog around the village, so we don't go out much.

'Taking my dog to go around the village' is awkward; use 'walking my dog around the village'. Also 'we don't really go much' is vague; specify 'we don't go out much' to indicate frequency. Maintain present perfect progressive 'I've been' which is correct for 'lately'.