Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: 문장 구조와 문법을 다듬고 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요. 주제 문장(간단한 응답) → 이유(구체적이고 자연스러운 표현) → 결과 순으로 말하세요. 예: 'I walk a lot' 후에 'because'로 이유를 연결하되 ‘walk in the park’가 반복되지 않도록 대체 표현을 사용하세요. 또한 ‘more healthy’는 잘못된 비교 표현이므로 ‘healthier’로 고치세요.

Exemplo: Yes, I walk a lot in the park because I enjoy exercising alone there, and it helps me feel healthier and less stressed.

Sugestão: 문맥과 시제, 단어 선택을 명확히 하세요. 질문은 어린 시절의 빈도에 관한 것이므로 'often'에 대한 답으로 시작하고, 'working' 대신 'walking'이나 'playing' 등 적절한 동사를 사용하세요. 불필요한 망설임(umm)을 줄이고, 주어와 동사의 수일치를 체크하세요 ('mom also liked').

Exemplo: Yes, I often went for walks with my mother when I was a child. We usually walked in the park together because she liked spending time outdoors.

Sugestão: 논리적으로 연결된 한두 문장으로 요점을 명확히 전달하세요. 'working'과 'walking'을 혼동하지 마시고, 연결어(therefore, because, and)로 문장을 매끄럽게 이어주세요. 구체적 이유(예: fresh air, scenery, exercise)를 하나둘 들고 적절한 형용사 사용(healthier, peaceful)으로 표현하세요.

Exemplo: People like walking in parks because the fresh air and green scenery are relaxing, and walking there is good exercise, so it helps people feel healthier and less stressed.

Sugestão: 조건문과 장소 표현을 자연스럽게 사용하세요. 'if I had the chance' 뒤에는 구체적인 장소와 이유를 간결히 말하세요. 'the oceans in Busan' 대신 'the beaches in Busan'이나 'the seaside in Busan'이 더 자연스럽습니다. 시제 일치와 동사 형태(looking → look)도 고치세요.

Exemplo: If I had the chance, I'd like to take a long walk along the beaches in Busan because I love looking at the ocean, especially the night view.

Sugestão: 간단한 과거 시제로 시작해 이유와 결과를 명확히 연결하세요. 'refresh the time'과 'delivered the stress' 같은 표현은 부자연스럽습니다. 대신 'refresh myself'나 'relieve stress'를 사용하고, 문장은 최대 3문장 이내로 간결하게 유지하세요.

Exemplo: I went for a walk in the park last night to refresh myself and relieve stress. The park near my home is surrounded by trees, so walking there made me feel calm and relaxed.

× Yes, I always walk a lot in the park because I like to walk in the park alone for exercising and that helps me more healthy.

✓ Yes, I always walk a lot in the park because I like to walk alone to exercise and that helps me be healthier.

The phrase 'for exercising' is awkward here; use 'to exercise' (infinitive) to express purpose. 'Helps me more healthy' is incorrect: use 'helps me be healthier' or 'helps me stay healthier' because 'help' is followed by a base verb and 'healthier' is the comparative adjective. Grammar problem type ID:8

× Yes, umm, when I was so tired I was working in the park with my mom, and my mom also like to work outside.

✓ Yes, umm, when I was very tired I worked in the park with my mom, and my mom also liked to work outside.

The mix of past continuous 'was working' and context suggests simple past 'worked' is appropriate for habitual or completed past actions. 'Like' should be past 'liked' to agree with past timeframe. Also 'so tired' is made more natural as 'very tired.' Grammar problem type ID:5

× People like to walk outside mainly. Thing is. Working is more beneficial. Or people, I think. And then park makes people. More peaceful and relaxing I think. Also working in the park help people more healthy I think.

✓ People mainly like to walk outdoors because it is beneficial. I think parks make people more peaceful and relaxed. Also, walking in the park helps people become healthier, I think.

Original has fragmented sentences and unclear subjects/verbs. 'Outside' is better as 'outdoors.' 'Working is more beneficial' is unclear; likely intended 'walking is beneficial.' 'Park makes people more peaceful and relaxing' needs passive/verb agreement and correct adjective 'relaxed.' 'Help people more healthy' should be 'helps people become healthier.' These corrections fix sentence fragments and subject-verb agreement. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I would like to walk long distance if I had chance, maybe the oceans in Busan.

✓ I would like to walk long distances if I had the chance, maybe along the beaches in Busan.

Use plural 'long distances' or 'a long distance' and include the article 'the chance.' 'The oceans in Busan' is unnatural: use 'the beaches in Busan' or 'along the coast.' Grammar problem type ID:22

× I always work in the park or Rd. in the city but I wanted to walk. On the beach or oceans, I love to looking at the ocean view, especially night view.

✓ I always walk in the park or on the roads in the city, but I would like to walk on the beach or by the ocean; I love looking at the ocean view, especially at night.

Prepositions: use 'walk in the park' and 'on the roads.' 'Wanted' should be 'would like' to match conditional. 'On the beach or oceans' -> 'on the beach or by the ocean.' 'Love to looking' should be 'love looking.' Add 'at' for 'at night.' Grammar problem type ID:11

× I was walking in the park last night because I needed to refresh the time and then. Delivered the stress and the park nearby my home and then surrounded by forest that's made me more refreshed and relaxing I think.

✓ I walked in the park last night because I needed to relax and relieve stress. The park near my home is surrounded by forest, which made me feel more refreshed and relaxed, I think.

Use simple past 'walked' for completed action. 'Refresh the time' is incorrect; use 'relax' or 'refresh myself.' 'Delivered the stress' should be 'relieve stress.' Sentence was fragmented; combine clauses and use 'which made me feel' and adjective 'relaxed.' Grammar problem type ID:5