Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be concise and directly answer the question about walking frequency. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I walk a lot”) then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use correct collocations (e.g., “walk around the campus” or “walk to work”) and correct pronouns/possessives.

Exemplo: Yes, I walk a lot. Since I arrived in Australia I usually walk around my university campus and often walk to work after getting off the bus or train because I don't have a car or bike.

Sugestão: Give a clear topic sentence and follow with one specific supporting detail. Correct tense and avoid unclear phrases (e.g., ‘Will’ should be ‘would’ if habitual). Remove unnecessary fillers and finish sentences properly.

Exemplo: Yes, I often went for walks as a child. On weekends my father would take the family to a nearby park where we enjoyed the pleasant atmosphere and chatted with other families while walking.

Sugestão: State the reason clearly and give two specific supporting points using linking words (e.g., “because… and …”). Correct word choice (walk, not work) and grammar (uninterrupted, many trees). Avoid vague adjectives like “creative” for parks unless explained.

Exemplo: People like walking in parks because they offer wide open space and fresh air. For example, you can walk freely without obstacles, and the many trees make the air cleaner and the environment more relaxing.

Sugestão: Begin with a direct topic sentence and give two concise reasons, linked coherently. Use correct tense and vocabulary (scenery, sunrise). Avoid repeating words and unnecessary fillers. Explain briefly how the beach is suitable for exercise.

Exemplo: I would like to take a long walk on the beach because the scenery at sunrise is beautiful and the fresh sea air is refreshing. Also, the flat sand is ideal for exercising, and I could finish the walk with a swim.

Sugestão: Answer with a clear past-time topic sentence and provide a sequence using linking words (first, then, afterwards). Remove repetitions and fillers. Use concise phrases to describe purpose (e.g., “as a warm-up”) and avoid repeating words like “back.”

Exemplo: Lately I went for a walk in the park near my house, which has a basketball court. First I walked as a warm-up, then I played basketball, and afterwards I walked back home.

× Yes, I do work a lot.

✓ Yes, I do work a lot.

Although slightly redundant, 'Yes, I do work a lot.' is grammatically acceptable in present tense for emphasis. No change needed.

× since I came to Australia, I have been working a lot, uh, because they don't have, I don't have any motorbike or bicycle here, so I usually walk in on a university campus or I walk to my workplace after catching a bus or a train.

✓ Since I came to Australia, I have been working a lot because I don't have a motorbike or bicycle here, so I usually walk on the university campus or walk to my workplace after catching a bus or train.

Multiple issues: incorrect pronoun 'they' referring to the student (Pronoun error, ID 12) and awkward preposition 'walk in on a university campus' (Preposition error, ID 11). Use 'I' instead of 'they' and 'walk on the university campus' or simply 'walk around/through the university campus'. Also remove the extra comma before 'because' and 'a' before 'motorbike or bicycle'. Keep present perfect continuous 'have been working' which matches 'since I came'. Suggested improvements: replace 'they don't have, I don't have' with 'I don't have' and use 'walk on/around the university campus'.

× Yes, I did when I was a child, uh, at the weekend, my father Will took the whole family to a park nearby, umm, to go for a walk.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was a child, at the weekend my father would take the whole family to a nearby park to go for a walk.

Mix of past simple and incorrect capitalisation/word choice: 'Will' is incorrectly capitalised and likely wrong tense. Use 'would take' or 'took' for habitual past. 'Nearby park' word order is more natural. Also add a full stop or pause after 'Yes, I did.' Suggestions: use 'would take' for habitual actions in the past, and place adjectives before nouns ('nearby park').

× There were also a lot of people like us, uh, go for a walk and we can uh, talk with each other and during that.

✓ There were also a lot of people like us going for a walk, and we could talk with each other while doing that.

The verb after 'people' should be in -ing form (ID 10) to form the participial clause 'people going for a walk'. 'Can' should be 'could' to match past tense (Past tense issue, ID 5). 'During that' is awkward; use 'while doing that' or 'during the walk'. Suggestions: use 'going' and keep tense consistent.

× Umm, I think the reasons why people want to work in parks is because, umm, they have a huge space there.

✓ Umm, I think the reasons why people want to walk in parks are that there is a lot of space there.

The student used 'work' instead of 'walk' (word choice error—treated as sentence structure/verb error, ID 26) and singular/plural and agreement issues: 'reasons ... is' should be 'reasons ... are' (Subject-verb agreement, ID 27). 'A huge space' is awkward; use 'a lot of space' or 'a large space'. Suggestions: use 'walk' and match verb 'are' to plural 'reasons'.

× Umm, people can walk freely without, uh, interrupted by any interrupted by any obstacle.

✓ Umm, people can walk freely without being interrupted by any obstacle.

Use passive continuous 'being interrupted' (Verb in the present participle form, ID 10) after 'without'. The phrase 'interrupted by any interrupted by any' is duplicated; remove repetition. Also 'any obstacle' is fine. Suggestion: use 'without being interrupted'.

× And they also have fresh air there with a lot of green tree.

✓ And there is also fresh air there with a lot of green trees.

Count noun 'tree' should be plural 'trees' (Singular and plural issue, ID 1). 'Fresh air' is uncountable and typically uses 'there is' rather than 'they also have'. Use 'there is' or 'the park has'. Suggestion: 'there are a lot of green trees' or 'with many green trees'.

× It's creative.

✓ It feels refreshing.

'It's creative' is odd to describe a park. Prefer 'It feels refreshing' or 'It's pleasant' to convey the idea. Although not a strict grammar error, improving word choice makes the sentence natural (ID 26). Suggestion: use adjectives appropriate to context.

× I would like to take a walk at the beach because the beach had a beautiful scenery, especially in the morning when the sunrise, you can see, uh, a beautiful scenario when you take a walk, uh, and at the beach, you, you can also do a regular exercise.

✓ I would like to take a walk on the beach because the beach has beautiful scenery, especially in the morning at sunrise when you can see a beautiful view while walking, and at the beach you can also do regular exercise.

Preposition with 'beach' is 'on the beach' not 'at' (Preposition issue, ID 11). 'Had' should be present 'has' since it's a general statement (Present tense issue, ID 6). 'Scenery' is uncountable; no 'a'. 'When the sunrise' is incorrect; use 'at sunrise' or 'when the sun rises'. 'Scenario' is wrong word; use 'view' or 'scene'. Remove repeated 'you'. Suggestions: use 'on the beach', 'has beautiful scenery', 'at sunrise', and 'view'.

× After that, you can go to the beach and swim.

✓ After that, you can go into the sea and swim, or just swim at the beach.

Not a strict grammar error but slight awkwardness: 'go to the beach and swim' repeats location; suggest 'go into the sea and swim' or 'swim at the beach'. Keep consistency with prepositions. (ID 26).

× Umm lately I went for a walk in the park near my house umm, which also has a basketball court I use umm I I went for a walk as the warm up and after that I went straight to the basketball exercise and after that I walked back back home.

✓ Lately I went for a walk in the park near my house, which also has a basketball court I use. I went for a walk as a warm-up, and after that I went straight to basketball practice, then I walked back home.

Multiple issues: adverb placement 'Umm lately' -> 'Lately, I...' (Adverb placement, ID 20). Missing article 'a warm up' -> 'a warm-up' (Article error, ID 22). Repetition 'back back' remove duplicate (Sentence structure, ID 26). 'Basketball exercise' is unnatural; use 'basketball practice' or 'exercise' (word choice). Also punctuation and sentence boundaries needed. Suggestions: place adverb at sentence start or after subject, use hyphenated 'warm-up' and 'practice' for clarity.