Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: 문법과 어휘 정확성을 높이고 문장을 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 'cheer out'는 잘못된 표현이고, 대신 'cheer up' 또는 'feel refreshed'를 사용해야 합니다. 또한 주제문 다음에 간단한 이유와 빈도, 구체적 장소를 연결해 더 자연스럽고 구체적으로 말하세요. 예: 주제문 → 빈도 → 이유 → 장소 순으로 2~3개의 짧은 문장으로 구성하세요.

Exemplo: Yes, I do. I normally walk about three times a week. I walk because it helps me relax and feel refreshed, especially when I stroll around the neighborhood.

Sugestão: 발음과 어휘 선택, 문장 구조를 개선하세요. 'order sister'는 오타/발음 오류로 보입니다 ('older sister'). 또한 이유를 말할 때 연결어를 사용해 문장을 자연스럽게 이어가세요. 예: 주제문 → 이유 → 짧은 예시(언제, 어디로)를 덧붙이세요.

Exemplo: Yes, I did. My older sister loved walking, so she often took me with her, especially on weekends when we had free time.

Sugestão: 문장을 더 자연스럽고 완전하게 만드세요. 문장 분리가 어색하고 불완전한 문장이 있습니다. 연결어와 구체적 이유(예: 신선한 공기, 자연 경치, 운동)를 추가해 설득력 있게 답하세요. 구조: 일반적 이유 제시 → 구체적 이유 2가지 제시.

Exemplo: There are many reasons, but mostly people walk in parks to relax and clear their minds. For example, parks offer fresh air and pleasant scenery, and walking there is also a gentle way to exercise.

Sugestão: 문장을 완성하고 반복을 피하세요. 'If I had that chance.'는 불완전 문장입니다. 주제문 다음에 이유와 구체적 묘사(어떤 풍경이나 활동을 기대하는지)를 덧붙이세요. 반복된 단어(sea, ocean)는 하나로 정리하고 적절한 형용사를 사용하세요.

Exemplo: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk along the coast because I love the sea. I enjoy listening to the waves and watching the sunset over the water.

Sugestão: 시제와 문장 흐름을 정확하게 고치세요. 'there had a lot of blossom'는 부자연스럽습니다 ('there were a lot of blossoms' 또는 'many trees were in bloom'). 이유와 결과를 연결하는 연결어를 자연스럽게 사용하세요.

Exemplo: Recently I went to Lake Park with a friend because many trees were in bloom. It was very refreshing to walk there and enjoy the flowers.

× Yes, I do. I walk quite often, at least three times a week, because when I walk around near my house I can cheer out and refresh.

✓ Yes, I do. I walk quite often, at least three times a week, because when I walk around near my house I can cheer up and feel refreshed.

'cheer out' is not a correct phrasal verb; the intended phrase is 'cheer up'. Also 'refresh' as a verb here is awkward; the correct expression is 'feel refreshed' to describe experiencing renewed energy or relaxation. Use of adjective 'refreshed' with 'feel' is natural.

× Yes I did because my order sister loved walking so she always took me out.

✓ Yes, I did because my older sister loved walking, so she always took me out.

The word 'order' is a typo; the correct adjective is 'older' to compare siblings. Also add a comma before 'so' joining two independent clauses for clarity.

× There are many reasons, but mostly people. Have to relax and clear their mind.

✓ There are many reasons, but mostly people want to relax and clear their minds.

The original is broken into two fragments: 'mostly people.' and 'Have to...'. Combine into one complete sentence. Use 'want to' to express purpose and plural 'minds' to agree with plural 'people'.

× If I had that chance. Umm, I would like to walk around near ocean because I like sea, ocean and.

✓ If I had that chance, umm, I would like to walk around near the ocean because I like the sea and the ocean.

Split sentence fragments into one sentence using a comma. Add the definite article 'the' before 'ocean' and 'sea' when speaking about them generally in this context. Remove the trailing 'and' and complete the list properly.

× Recently I went to the Lake Park with my friend because there had a lot of blossom so. I could refresh.

✓ Recently I went to the Lake Park with my friend because there were a lot of blossoms, so I could feel refreshed.

Use 'were' (there were) for past existence rather than 'had'. Use plural 'blossoms'. Combine fragments into one sentence and use 'feel refreshed' to express the result. Place comma before 'so' and correct word order.