Hobby— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Cải thiện độ tự nhiên và ngữ pháp: dùng thì, động từ và cấu trúc phù hợp; tránh tiếng ờ/ùm kéo dài; trả lời trực tiếp rồi thêm chi tiết ngắn gọn. Ví dụ: sửa ‘I keen on’ thành ‘I’m keen on’ hoặc ‘I like’, và nói ‘after school’ thay vì ‘after school time’. Thêm liên từ để mạch lạc như ‘for example’ hoặc ‘and’ và hạn chế câu quá dài.

Exemplo: Yes, I have several hobbies. They help me relax after school; for example, I’m keen on playing the piano and chatting with friends.

Sugestão: Sửa lỗi thì và cấu trúc: dùng quá khứ khi nói về thời thơ ấu (e.g. ‘I had’ not ‘I have’), giữ thứ tự logic và dùng liên từ để nối ý. Cụ thể, nói ‘at the weekend’ hoặc ‘on weekends’, và nhất quán thì (‘they helped me’). Tránh liệt kê quá nhiều chi tiết trong một câu; chia thành hai câu nếu cần.

Exemplo: When I was a child, I had several hobbies. I enjoyed playing the piano, watching films at the cinema with my family on weekends, and keeping in touch with my friends on my iPhone because these activities helped me relax and stay connected.

Sugestão: Trả lời trực tiếp và dùng cấu trúc phù hợp: câu hỏi hỏi về một hobby duy nhất (‘a hobby that you’ve had since childhood’) nên nêu một sở thích cụ thể và nhấn vì sao nó kéo dài đến nay. Dùng thì hiện tại hoàn thành đúng và cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể ngắn gọn. Hạn chế lặp từ và sắp xếp ý rõ ràng.

Exemplo: Yes, one hobby I’ve had since childhood is playing the piano. I started lessons when I was six, and I still practice regularly because it helps me relax and improves my concentration.

Sugestão: Trả lời câu hỏi trực tiếp: đề cập rõ ràng liệu bạn có cùng sở thích với thành viên gia đình hay không, và đưa ví dụ cụ thể. Sửa ngữ pháp (‘several hobbies’ và ‘busy time’), tránh lặp từ (‘busy busy’), và dùng câu mạch lạc như ‘Yes, I share this hobby with my mother’ hoặc ‘No, most of my family prefer…’ Kể thêm một chi tiết ngắn về ai trong gia đình cũng thích và vì sao.

Exemplo: Yes, I share the piano hobby with my family. My mother also plays the piano, so we often practice together on weekends, which makes it more enjoyable and motivating.

× Hobbies help me relax after school time.

✓ Hobbies help me relax after school.

The phrase 'after school time' is awkward; 'after school' is the correct fixed expression to indicate the period following classes.

× For instance, I keen on playing the piano or chatting with friends.

✓ For instance, I am keen on playing the piano or chatting with friends.

The verb 'keen' requires the verb 'to be' (am/is/are) before it when expressing preference: 'I am keen on'. Add 'am' to form a correct present tense structure.

× When I was a child, I have some hobbies.

✓ When I was a child, I had some hobbies.

The clause 'When I was a child' sets the time in the past, so the verb must be in the past tense. 'Have' should be changed to 'had' to match past time.

× I'm keen on playing the piano, watching films at the cinema with my family at weekend and keep in touch with my friends on my iPhone because it helped me relax and stay connected.

✓ I was keen on playing the piano, watching films at the cinema with my family at the weekend and keeping in touch with my friends on my iPhone because it helped me relax and stay connected.

Tense consistency: the speaker refers to past habits, so use past tense 'was keen'. Parallel structure: list items should use the same form, so 'keeping' (the -ing form) matches 'playing' and 'watching'. Also use 'at the weekend' (or 'on weekends') for correct preposition.

× Oh yes, I have had some hobbies when I was a child such as playing the piano, watching movies with my friends and going shopping with my family at the weekend.

✓ Oh yes, I had some hobbies when I was a child, such as playing the piano, watching movies with my friends and going shopping with my family at the weekend.

Mixing present perfect 'have had' with the past time clause 'when I was a child' is incorrect. Use simple past 'had' to match the past time reference.

× Oh yes, I have had several hobby since childhood such as playing the piano.

✓ Oh yes, I have had several hobbies since childhood, such as playing the piano.

'Several' requires a plural noun, so 'hobby' should be 'hobbies'. Also add a comma before 'such as' for clarity.

× I like playing the piano at my free time to relax after B busy busy time at school.

✓ I like playing the piano in my free time to relax after a busy time at school.

The correct preposition is 'in my free time' (not 'at'). Use the article 'a' before 'busy time'. Remove repeated word 'busy'. Also 'B' seems accidental and should be deleted.