Hobby— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence stating your hobby, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unintelligible phrases (e.g. “fan of breathing”) and reduce repetition. Focus on why you enjoy reading and when you do it.

Exemplo: I enjoy reading in my free time. For example, I usually read for 30–60 minutes after work because it helps me relax and forget the stress of the day. Also, I prefer contemporary novels and short stories, which are easy to finish in one sitting.

Sugestão: Give a clear past-tense topic sentence, then provide specific details with linking words. Correct grammar (use past tense) and avoid awkward phrasing. Explain a concrete example of what you drew and why it appealed to you.

Exemplo: When I was a child I liked drawing and painting. For example, I often painted fantasy scenes such as princesses and magical castles because imagining those worlds made me happy and helped me be creative.

Sugestão: State clearly whether the hobby continued from childhood and use simple, accurate language. Use linking words (however, now) to show change. Be specific about the genres you enjoyed and what you read now.

Exemplo: Yes, I have loved reading since I was a child. As a child I enjoyed fairy tales and books about magic and animals; however, now I prefer fantasy novels and contemporary fiction because they have more complex characters and longer plots.

Sugestão: Answer directly and clearly: say whether your family share the same hobby, then give one or two specific examples using logical linking words. Avoid unclear metaphors like “bride” and correct word choices (e.g. ‘listening to music’).

Exemplo: Yes, my family also enjoys listening to music. For instance, we often play pop and folk songs during dinner, and sometimes we discuss new artists on social media, which helps us bond and share recommendations.

× Yes, of course, as a whole fan of breathing, I'm really I love reading so much and breathing when I have leisure time or I will have a break time reading can make me comfortable and relax after a tired day.

✓ Yes, of course. I'm a big fan of reading; I really love it. When I have free time or a break, reading makes me feel comfortable and relaxed after a tiring day.

The original sentence has multiple sentence structure problems: run-on sentences, unnecessary or incorrect phrases ('fan of breathing', 'breathing' used wrongly), and awkward word order. Break the ideas into shorter sentences, replace incorrect words ('breathing' -> 'reading', 'leisure time' -> 'free time'), and use correct verb forms ('relaxed' as adjective). Suggestion: separate ideas, use clear subjects and verbs, and choose appropriate vocabulary.

× In the past, when I asked a child, I prefer drawing and painting.

✓ In the past, when I was a child, I preferred drawing and painting.

Errors: incorrect phrase 'asked a child' and wrong tense/verb form 'prefer' for a past habit. Use 'when I was a child' and past tense 'preferred' for past habits. Suggestion: use 'was' for past state and simple past for past preferences.

× Drawing and painting is my work and it has imagination when I can think, think that I'm a Princess and has a magic power.

✓ Drawing and painting are my hobbies and they let me use my imagination; I can imagine being a princess with magic powers.

Errors: 'Drawing and painting' is a plural subject so use 'are' not 'is'. Pronoun agreement and verb forms: use 'they' to refer to activities, 'let me use my imagination' is clearer, and 'I can imagine being a princess with magic powers' uses correct verbs and plural 'powers'. Suggestion: match subjects and verbs in number and use consistent pronouns.

× Well, I think that is ready when I try. I like read a fairy tale, books about magic, power, Princess, prize animals.

✓ Well, I think I still like them when I try. I like reading fairy tales and books about magic, princesses, and magical creatures.

Problems: unclear phrase 'that is ready when I try' and incorrect verb form 'like read'. Also list items are awkward and have capitalization errors. Use 'reading' (gerund) after 'like', pluralize nouns where appropriate ('fairy tales', 'princesses'), and use natural phrases like 'magical creatures' instead of 'prize animals'. Suggestion: use gerund after 'like' and provide clear, parallel lists.

× But now I prefer fantastic commerce or novels.

✓ But now I prefer fantasy comics or novels.

Error: 'fantastic commerce' is incorrect word choice. Likely intended 'fantasy comics' or 'fantastic' as adjective. Use 'fantasy comics' for genre and 'novels' is fine. Suggestion: choose correct genre vocabulary and ensure nouns are accurate.

× To be honest, I think that is a listening music.

✓ To be honest, I think my family and I like listening to music.

Original is ungrammatical: 'that is a listening music' makes no sense. Clarify subject and verb: use 'listening to music' as the activity and specify who likes it. Suggestion: use 'listening to music' for the activity and include the subject.

× I think that is a bride can connect me and my family and I think that we like schooling, social media or what sort frame.

✓ I think it helps connect me with my family, and we also enjoy going to school, using social media, or similar activities.

Problems: incorrect pronouns and unclear noun 'bride'. 'It helps connect me with my family' uses correct pronoun reference. 'We like schooling' is awkward; better 'enjoy going to school'. 'What sort frame' is unclear; replace with 'similar activities'. Suggestion: use clear pronouns ('it'), correct prepositions ('connect me with'), and replace vague phrases with specific alternatives.