Hobby— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Your answer is clear and directly responds, but it is a bit list-like and slightly informal (using numerals and mixing forms). To improve, use a natural topic sentence and add one brief supporting detail about why you enjoy one of the hobbies, using a linking word to connect ideas. Keep it concise (no more than 3–4 short sentences).

Exemplo: Yes. I have three main hobbies: playing the guitar, playing football, and DJing. For example, I enjoy playing the guitar because it helps me relax after a busy day, and I like DJing because it lets me be creative with music.

Sugestão: This answer is engaging and gives a clear personal story, but it is slightly repetitive (using 'used to' and 'when I was a child' multiple times) and a bit wordy. Improve by starting with a direct topic sentence, reducing repetition, and using one or two linking words to organize the narrative. Mention a specific activity or memory to add concreteness.

Exemplo: Yes. I took dance classes as a child and practiced regularly with other children. I was inspired by the TV show Dance India Dance and a performer named Raghav Jewel, whose breakdancing made me want to learn more.

Sugestão: The content is relevant and personal, but the answer contains many hesitations and some unclear phrasing. To improve, remove fillers (uh, you know), form a clear topic sentence, and use one linking phrase to give a specific supporting detail (a memory or reason). Also correct grammar: 'It is the sport I started loving after watching my dad.' Keep it concise and fluent.

Exemplo: Yes. I have played football since childhood. I started loving it after watching my dad watch a Manchester United versus Liverpool match with his friends, which inspired me to start playing regularly.

Sugestão: Your answer answers the question and provides examples, but it is repetitive and contains informal fillers. To improve, begin with a direct sentence, then briefly compare and give two specific examples (brother and uncle), using a linking word for coherence. Avoid repeating phrases like 'not all the hobbies are same.'

Exemplo: Not exactly. Some hobbies overlap: for example, my brother and I both play football and often practice together. In addition, my uncle is into music, which is similar to my interest in playing the guitar.

× Yes, I have three main hobbies, first being playing the guitar, second playing football and 3rd DJ.

✓ Yes, I have three main hobbies: first, playing the guitar; second, playing football; and third, DJing.

The sentence mixes numeral format and list items without parallel structure. '3rd' should be written as 'third' and the list items need parallel gerund forms. 'DJ' functions as a noun but should be the gerund 'DJing' to match 'playing the guitar' and 'playing football'. Use consistent punctuation for clarity. Suggestion: Use parallel gerund forms for all list items and write ordinals in words in formal speech.

× Guess when I was a child, I used to go to dance class where I used to practice with other children.

✓ When I was a child, I used to go to dance classes where I practiced with other children.

Starting with 'Guess' is informal and unnecessary; remove it. 'Used to' is correct to indicate habitual past, but repeating 'used to' plus 'practice' is redundant; use 'used to go' and simple past 'practiced' for the repeated action. Also use plural 'dance classes' for naturalness. Suggestion: Keep one instance of 'used to' and use simple past for the following verb when describing habitual activities.

× So basically I got into dance by seeing the Dance India dance show when I was a child and I looked up to Raghav Jewel who used to do the break dancing.

✓ So I basically got into dance after watching the Dance India Dance show when I was a child, and I looked up to Raghav Juyal, who used to do breakdancing.

Use 'after watching' instead of 'by seeing' for natural English. 'Dance India dance' should be 'Dance India Dance' (title case) and the name 'Raghav Jewel' appears incorrect; likely 'Raghav Juyal' is intended. 'break dancing' is usually one word 'breakdancing'. 'Used to' is correct for past habitual actions. Suggestion: Use natural collocations ('after watching') and correct names/compound nouns.

× So I really loved and got into dancing because of him.

✓ So I really loved dancing and got into it because of him.

The original mixes verb objects awkwardly: 'loved and got into dancing' is grammatically possible but sounds clumsy. Better to separate: 'loved dancing' and 'got into it'. This clarifies the object and maintains parallel structure. Suggestion: Keep parallel structure and use pronouns to avoid repetition.

× Uh, yes, uh, the hobby is football.

✓ Yes, the hobby is football.

Remove filler 'uh' for clarity. 'The hobby is football' is acceptable, but in natural speech 'My hobby is football' is better. Use 'my' instead of 'the' to indicate possession. Suggestion: Say 'My hobby is football' for clarity.

× So I've been playing football since childhood. Uh, is the sport which I, you know, I, I started loving, uh, after seeing my dad watching football.

✓ So I've been playing football since childhood. It is the sport that I started loving after seeing my dad watch football.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains fillers and repetition. 'Is the sport which I...started loving' lacks a clear subject; add 'It' at the start. Use 'that' instead of 'which' for essential clauses and use 'watch' rather than 'watching' after 'seeing my dad'. Remove fillers and repeated 'I'. Suggestion: Use a clear subject and cleaner relative clause: 'It is the sport that I started loving after seeing my dad watch football.'

× The first game which I watched was, uh, Manchester United versus Liverpool when, you know, my dad was watching it with his, uh, friends.

✓ The first game I watched was Manchester United versus Liverpool, when my dad was watching it with his friends.

Remove fillers and unnecessary 'which'—use the reduced relative clause 'The first game I watched'. Keep simple past 'watched'. The comma before the time clause improves clarity. 'his, uh, friends' should be 'his friends'. Suggestion: Avoid fillers and use concise relative clauses.

× No, not all the hobbies, but yeah, some of them are similar.

✓ No, not all of the hobbies are the same, but some of them are similar.

'Not all the hobbies' is awkward; use 'not all of the hobbies are the same'. This clarifies the intended meaning. Maintain parallel comparatives: 'are the same' vs 'are similar'. Suggestion: Use full clause 'not all of the hobbies are the same' for clarity.

× So my brother and I have the same hobby which is of football.

✓ So my brother and I have the same hobby, which is football.

The phrase 'hobby which is of football' is incorrect; use 'which is football' or better 'our hobby is football'. 'Of' is unnecessary. Suggestion: Use 'which is' without 'of' or rephrase as 'our hobby is football'.

× So we collaborate and match on that.

✓ So we play and practice together.

'Collaborate and match on that' is unnatural in this context. Use verbs appropriate to football: 'play' and 'practice together' or 'play matches together'. Suggestion: Use sport-specific verbs like 'play', 'practice', or 'play matches'.

× But yeah, not all the hobbies are same as my family members.

✓ But not all the hobbies are the same as those of my family members.

Missing article/adjective 'the' before 'same' and awkward possessive phrasing. Better: 'not all the hobbies are the same as my family members'' or 'the hobbies of my family members'. Use 'those of' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: Say 'not all the hobbies are the same as those of my family members' or 'not all my hobbies are the same as my family members'.

× My uncle, yeah, he's into music so you can consider that part of it also.

✓ My uncle is into music, so you can consider that part of it too.

Change contraction 'he's' to 'he is' in formal correction if desired; 'also' at end is acceptable but 'too' is more natural. The tense 'is into' is correct present. Remove filler 'yeah'. Suggestion: Use 'My uncle is into music, so you can consider that part of it too.'