Hobby— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Clarify vocabulary and simplify sentences. Use a clear topic sentence naming the hobby (roller skating), correct word choice, and provide two concise supporting details with linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep it under five sentences.

Exemplo: I enjoy roller skating, which I learned as a child. I asked my parents to teach me because I wanted to try something new. Since then, I have kept practicing and now I sometimes entertain my friends with tricks and speedy laps.

Sugestão: Make the reason concise and more natural. Avoid unclear phrases like “critical thing” or “physical physique.” Give specific examples of what you did and use linking words to connect ideas.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved roller skating as a child because it helped me develop balance and confidence. For example, I practiced turning and stopping, which improved my coordination, and overcoming falls taught me not to be afraid of failing.

Sugestão: Use a cleaner, direct structure: topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g., “since childhood” repeated). Explain how the hobby helps you now with a brief reason or example.

Exemplo: Yes, I have been roller skating since I was a child. Even now I skate regularly because it relaxes me and gives me a break from daily stress—for instance, I go to the park twice a week to practice and clear my mind.

Sugestão: Correct grammar and make the relationship and actions clear. Start with a direct statement, then give a specific example of shared activities. Remove vague phrases like “something like.”

Exemplo: Yes, my sister and I share the same hobby of roller skating because I taught her when we were children. For example, we used to skate around the house together and now we sometimes go to the local rink to practice and have fun.

× Yes, one of my hobbies is rollers dating.

✓ Yes, one of my hobbies is roller skating.

The student used the incorrect phrase 'rollers dating' which is not a correct noun phrase in English. The intended activity is 'roller skating'. Replace the incorrect words with the correct noun 'roller skating' to convey the hobby clearly.

× I learned it when I was a child.

✓ I learned it when I was a child.

This sentence is grammatically correct and uses past tense appropriately to describe when the skill was acquired. No change is necessary.

× I requested it to my parents because I really wanted to try new things.

✓ I asked my parents for it because I really wanted to try new things.

Native speakers use 'ask someone for something' rather than 'request it to someone' in this context. Change the structure to 'asked my parents for it' to correct verb and preposition usage and follow English collocation.

× And up until now that I still know how to roller skate, I can use that skill to entertain my friends and to use it.

✓ And even now that I still know how to roller skate, I can use that skill to entertain my friends.

The original sentence is redundant and has awkward phrasing ('up until now that I still know' and ending 'and to use it'). Replace with 'even now that I still know how to roller skate' and remove redundant 'and to use it' to make the sentence clear and grammatically correct.

× Yes, one of my hobbies when I was a child is roller skating.

✓ Yes, one of my hobbies when I was a child was roller skating.

The time reference 'when I was a child' requires past tense. Change 'is' to 'was' to maintain correct tense agreement between the time clause and the verb.

× I really enjoyed roller skating at such a young age because it involves my critical thing, my critical thinking and my physical physique to, you know, move my body and to conquer my fear of falling and failing.

✓ I really enjoyed roller skating at a young age because it involved my critical thinking and physical strength to move my body and to conquer my fear of falling and failing.

Multiple problems: 'such a young age' is acceptable but 'involves my critical thing' is incorrect; use 'involved my critical thinking'. 'Physical physique' is redundant; use 'physical strength' or 'physique'. Also tense should be past 'involved' to match 'enjoyed'. Rephrase to make ideas clear and concise.

× Yes, I have a hobby that I've had since my child and it would be roller skating because I really enjoyed roller skating since ever since I was a child and up until now I use that as my hobby to escape my reality.

✓ Yes, I have had a hobby since my childhood, and it is roller skating because I have enjoyed roller skating ever since I was a child, and I still use it as a hobby to escape reality.

Several errors: 'since my child' should be 'since my childhood'; use 'have had' for a hobby continuing to present; 'would be roller skating' is incorrect—use 'it is roller skating'; 'really enjoyed ... since ever since' is redundant, use 'have enjoyed ... ever since'; 'up until now I use that as my hobby' is awkward—use 'I still use it as a hobby'. Also remove 'my' before 'reality' unless specific.

× Yes, it's my sister that I that has the same hobbies as mine because I thought her how to stand and how to roller skate with you ever since we were a child.

✓ Yes, my sister has the same hobby as me because I taught her how to stand and how to roller skate since we were children.

Problems: 'it's my sister that I that has' is ungrammatical; use 'my sister has the same hobby as me'. 'Hobbies as mine' is awkward; 'same hobby as me' is natural. 'I thought her' is incorrect past tense and verb—should be 'I taught her'. 'with you' is extraneous and incorrect; remove. 'since we were a child' should be plural 'since we were children'.

× So whenever we felt doing something we just roller skate around the house and something like.

✓ So whenever we felt like doing something, we would just roller skate around the house and similar places.

Original sentence is incomplete and ungrammatical ('felt doing something' and ends with 'and something like'). Use 'felt like doing something' and a clearer ending such as 'and similar places' or 'and so on'. Use 'would' or simple past 'just roller skated' to match past context.