Hobby— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar, use concise details and one or two linking words. Mention the dance style name correctly and give a brief example of activities you do in class.

Exemplo: I enjoy dancing with a friend. We usually take dance classes after school with a regular teacher, and we specialize in locking, which is a street dance style. In class we practice routines, work on timing, and perform short pieces together.

Sugestão: Make the story chronological and grammatically correct; use linking words (for example, 'when' and 'so') and give a concise reason for stopping. Replace vague words like 'my Academy' with a clear explanation (e.g., 'school workload').

Exemplo: Yes. When I was a child I enjoyed drawing and took lessons for three years. However, when I started junior high at 13, my school workload increased, so I had to give up my painting class.

Sugestão: Start directly and fix grammar: use one clear topic sentence and one supporting detail. Replace 'a lot of songs' with a more specific phrase and mention a recent piece or achievement to show progress.

Exemplo: Yes, I have been playing the piano since childhood. I have learned for over ten years and can play a wide range of pieces, from simple classical sonatinas to more advanced pieces like Fur Elise.

Sugestão: Be more concise and natural: give a direct answer, then one or two specific examples of family members' hobbies and explain briefly how those discussions help you. Use linking words like 'for example' and 'so'.

Exemplo: No, my family members have different hobbies. For example, my mother likes gardening and my brother plays football, and we often talk about our interests so I can learn new skills and decide whether I want to try them.

× Yes, I like dancing with my friend.

✓ Yes, I like dancing with my friend.

No correction needed; 'like dancing' correctly uses the verb + -ing form to express a hobby.

× We usually take dancing class after school and my friend and I learned dancing from the stand teacher.

✓ We usually take dance classes after school, and my friend and I learned dancing from the dance teacher.

Problems: 'take dancing class' is incorrect collocation and count noun form — use 'take dance classes'. 'stand teacher' seems wrong; likely 'dance teacher'. Also add a comma before 'and' connecting independent clauses. Suggestion: use plural 'classes' for regular lessons and the correct noun 'dance teacher'.

× Also we're good at locking a kind of St. dance.

✓ Also, we're good at locking, a style of street dance.

Problems: 'locking' is fine as a dance style but needs punctuation and article/word choice. 'a kind of St. dance' is ungrammatical; likely meant 'a style of street dance'. Add comma after 'Also' and use 'style of street dance' for clarity.

× Yes, when I was a child, I was good at drawing and I learned drawing for three years.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I was good at drawing and I learned to draw for three years.

Use of 'learned drawing' is awkward. With 'learn' followed by an activity, use 'learned to draw' or 'took drawing lessons'. 'Learned drawing' is understandable but nonstandard; correct form improves fluency.

× But when I was 13 years old, I studied at junior high school.

✓ But when I was 13 years old, I attended junior high school.

'Studied at junior high school' is understandable but 'attended junior high school' is the natural collocation in English for enrollment.

× I gave up my painting class because my Academy.

✓ I gave up my painting class because of my academy commitments.

Original lacks preposition and a complete reason phrase. 'Because my Academy' is incomplete and capitalizes 'Academy' unnecessarily. Use 'because of' + noun phrase or 'because I had commitments at my academy' to make a complete clause.

× I think is P playing piano.

✓ I think it is playing the piano.

Original omits subject 'it' and has an erroneous 'P'. Use 'playing the piano' with definite article for the instrument; include 'it' to complete the clause 'I think it is...'. Alternatively, 'I think my hobby is playing the piano.' is clearer.

× I have been learning it for over 10 years and I can perform a lot of songs by piano.

✓ I have been learning it for over ten years, and I can perform many songs on the piano.

'Over 10 years' is acceptable but spell out numbers in formal speech; more importantly, 'perform a lot of songs by piano' is incorrect preposition and collocation — use 'perform many songs on the piano.' 'Many' fits countable 'songs' better than 'a lot of' in concise correction.

× No, actually all the members in my family have different hobbies, but we will discuss the differences between diverse talent with each other that I can get information from others to decide whether or not the talent is suitable for me.

✓ No, actually all the members of my family have different hobbies, but we discuss our different talents with each other so I can get information from others to decide whether a talent is suitable for me.

Problems: 'members in my family' -> 'members of my family'. 'differences between diverse talent' is ungrammatical; use 'different talents' or 'our different talents'. 'with each other that I can get...' is a run-on and uses wrong conjunction; replace with 'so' to indicate purpose and restructure for clarity. Also 'whether or not' can be shortened to 'whether'.