Hobby— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and an example. Use correct tense and avoid filler words like “well” or “more.” Link ideas with a short connector (e.g., “and” or “which”).

Exemplo: Yes, I do. I usually play the guitar because it helps me relax and keeps me away from social media. For example, I play for about an hour each evening, which lets me unwind after work.

Sugestão: Clarify meaning and correct grammar. State the main idea in one sentence, then explain how the purpose changed using linking words like “but” or “however.” Avoid repetition. Use past tense for childhood activities.

Exemplo: Yes, I did — it was the same hobby, playing the guitar. However, when I was a child I learned guitar mainly to perform at school, whereas now I play to relax and improve my skills.

Sugestão: Correct grammar and be specific. Use a clear topic sentence, then give precise details: who, where, and why. Fix pronoun errors and provide a short explanation of the camp's significance. Keep it within three sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I do. I have played football with my dad since I was a child because he coached at Sam Somerson Camp, a well-known provincial training center in Thailand. Practicing there improved my skills and inspired me to take the sport seriously.

Sugestão: Be concise and correct pronouns and verb forms. Give a direct answer and one supporting detail, for example how often you practice and what you gain from it. Use linking words like “so” or “therefore” to connect ideas.

Exemplo: Yes. I share football as a hobby with my family because my dad has been a coach for many years, so I often practice with him and my siblings. As a result, I train twice a week and have improved my teamwork and fitness.

× Yes I do. I usually play guitar because it's helped me to relax and more, well, it's helped me to stay away from social media.

✓ Yes, I do. I usually play the guitar because it helps me to relax and, well, it helps me to stay away from social media.

The original uses 'it's helped' (present perfect) and 'play guitar' without article; context describes habitual action so simple present 'helps' is correct. Also add the definite article 'the' before 'guitar' in English when referring to playing an instrument generally. Suggestion: use simple present for routines: 'I usually play the guitar because it helps me...'.

× Yes I did. Actually it is the same hobby. In nowadays it is a playing guitar but the purpose was different and in nowadays I playing guitar.

✓ Yes, I did. Actually it is the same hobby. Nowadays I play the guitar, but the purpose was different when I was a child.

Problems: 'In nowadays' is incorrect; use 'Nowadays'. 'It is a playing guitar' and 'I playing guitar' use incorrect verb forms; use simple present 'I play'. Maintain past reference for childhood purpose with 'was different'. Also add 'the' before 'guitar'. Suggestion: 'Nowadays I play the guitar, but the purpose was different when I was a child.'

× Yes I do. I usually playing football with my dad 'cause my dad was her coach for Sam Somerson Camp province, which is really well known for the Thailand team due to.

✓ Yes, I do. I usually play football with my dad because my dad was a coach for Sam Somerson Camp in the province, which is well known for Thailand's team.

'I usually playing' is incorrect; use base verb after 'usually': 'I usually play'. 'Because' is preferable instead of informal ''cause'. 'Was her coach' seems wrong pronoun; use 'was a coach'. 'For the Thailand team due to' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'well known for Thailand's team'. Suggestion: use 'I usually play football with my dad because he was a coach for Sam Somerson Camp, which is well known for Thailand's team.'

× Yes, as I mentioned before, I have been playing a football with my dad because my dad, he is a coach for years and then I practice with them, with him, which is.

✓ Yes, as I mentioned before, I have been playing football with my dad because he has been a coach for years, and I practiced with him.

Use 'playing football' without 'a' when speaking of the sport in general. 'My dad, he is' contains redundant subject; use 'he has been a coach' for ongoing past to present. 'I practice with them, with him, which is.' is fragmented; 'I practiced with him' fits the context. Suggestion: simplify sentences, remove redundancy, and choose correct aspect: 'I have been playing football with my dad because he has been a coach for years, and I practiced with him.'