Shoes— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and awkward phrases (e.g., “a fascination to have, plethora types”), and give a specific frequency. Use linking words if adding a reason. Aim for 2–3 sentences, correct collocations (e.g., “a wide variety of shoes”), and accurate time expression (e.g., “almost every month”).

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I like to keep a wide variety in my wardrobe, so I buy new pairs almost every month because I like to match shoes to different outfits.

Sugestão: Make the reason clear and concise. Use a topic sentence then one linked supporting detail with a linking word (e.g., “because” or “so”). Avoid redundant phrases like “I have liked many shoes, though those are sold online.” Use correct verb forms (e.g., “decided” → “decide/did decide”).

Exemplo: No, I haven't bought shoes online because I'm worried the size won't match. For that reason, I prefer trying shoes on in a shop before I buy them.

Sugestão: Be specific about amounts or price ranges and avoid vague or confusing phrasing. Start with a clear statement about typical spending, then contrast with special occasions using a linking word (e.g., “but” or “however”). Replace awkward phrase “brands with a bit of money” with “mid-range brands” or “more expensive brands.” Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: For everyday shoes I usually spend around $30–$50, but for parties or special events I prefer mid-range brands and might pay $80–$120 for a pair.

Sugestão: Give a concise preference with reason and avoid repetition. Use a clear topic sentence (e.g., “I prefer comfort over fashion”) then one supporting reason and, if desired, a brief example. Avoid repeating the same idea multiple times.

Exemplo: I prefer comfortable shoes because I wear them for long periods, but I also look for stylish designs. For example, I choose cushioned sneakers that still have a modern look so I feel comfortable and fashionable.

× I have a fascination to have, uh, plethora types of shoes in my wardrobe and I buy shoes almost every time a month.

✓ I have a fascination with having a plethora of shoes in my wardrobe and I buy shoes almost every month.

Use 'fascination with' not 'fascination to'. Use 'having' after 'fascination with' to express possession. Use 'a plethora of' to link quantity and noun. Use 'almost every month' rather than 'every time a month' for natural frequency expression.

× I've never bought shoes online, but I have liked many shoes, though those are sold online.

✓ I've never bought shoes online, but I have liked many shoes that are sold online.

Use 'have liked' is possible but 'have liked many shoes that are sold online' is clearer; remove 'though' which is unnecessary. Keep present perfect 'I've never bought' to show experience up to now and 'have liked' to indicate ongoing feeling. Also use 'that are sold online' as a relative clause.

× However, I'm afraid that my size of shoe will not be matched with the ones that I will buy online, so I never decided to buy it from there.

✓ However, I'm afraid that my shoe size will not match the ones I would buy online, so I have never decided to buy shoes from there.

Use 'shoe size' not 'size of shoe'. Use 'match' (base form) after 'will not' or better 'would' for hypothetical; here 'would' is more appropriate. Use 'ones' to refer to 'shoes' and make plural consistency. Use present perfect 'have never decided' for actions up to now and 'buy shoes from there' for natural phrasing.

× Usually I buy budget friendly shoes for regular wear and other than that, uh, for shoes that I will wear on a party or in a gathering.

✓ Usually I buy budget-friendly shoes for regular wear, and for shoes I will wear to a party or at a gathering I spend more.

Use hyphen 'budget-friendly' as a compound adjective. Use 'to a party' or 'at a gathering' for correct prepositions. Rewrite sentence to be concise and natural; 'spend more' clarifies intent instead of vague phrasing.

× I prefer to buy shoes from brands with a bit of money.

✓ I prefer to buy shoes from brands that cost a bit more.

Original phrase 'brands with a bit of money' is incorrect because brands do not 'have money' in this context. Use 'brands that cost a bit more' or 'slightly more expensive brands' to express paying more for branded shoes.

× Every time while buying shoes, comfort comes first.

✓ When I buy shoes, comfort always comes first.

Move adverb 'always' near the verb for natural adverb placement. 'Every time while' is awkward; 'When I buy shoes' is clearer.

× In fact, without the combination of both, I don't get satisfaction of my own.

✓ In fact, without a combination of both I don't feel satisfied.

Use 'a combination of both' not 'the combination of both'. Use 'feel satisfied' instead of 'get satisfaction of my own' for natural English. This corrects awkward structure and phrase choice.

× But if something is important, then comfort comes first.

✓ But if something is important, comfort comes first.

Remove redundant 'then'. The present tense 'comes' is correct; sentence is fine with minor style improvement by omitting 'then' for conciseness.