Singing— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Your answer is relevant and expressive, but it is slightly repetitive and a little long. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two concise supporting reasons using linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) and a specific brief example. Try to keep it under five sentences and reduce redundancy (e.g., avoid repeating ‘myself’ and ‘express’).

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoy singing because it helps me express emotions that are hard to put into words. For example, when I sing a sad song I can convey subtle feelings through tone and phrasing, so listeners understand the mood even without detailed explanations.

Sugestão: The content is relevant but there are many grammatical errors, unclear phrases and one sentence is confusing (‘I am very black’). Use clear simple sentences: state whether you learned to sing, then give specific details about lessons and choir participation. Correct verb forms and vocabulary (e.g., ‘taught’ not ‘thought’, ‘as a child’ not ‘a still kid’).

Exemplo: Yes, I had formal lessons when I was a child. My parents enrolled me in a music school where I learned vocal techniques and how to play instruments, and later I joined a school choir for several years.

Sugestão: Good idea to say you sing for yourself, but wording is awkward and slightly repetitive. Give a clear topic sentence then a specific reason or example. Avoid phrases like ‘I love myself’ which may sound odd in context; instead say ‘I sing for my own enjoyment or to process emotions.’

Exemplo: I usually sing for myself because it helps me relax and process my feelings. For instance, after a stressful day I often sing quietly to calm down and reflect on my thoughts.

Sugestão: Your response addresses the question and gives reasons, but it is slightly vague and repetitive. Use linking words to structure the answer (for example, ‘Yes, because…’ then ‘for example…’). Give a concrete example of how singing creates happiness, and try to be more concise.

Exemplo: Yes, I think singing can make people happy because music directly affects emotions. For example, upbeat songs can lift someone’s mood, while a comforting melody can help someone feel understood and less lonely.

Sugestão: This answer shows personal preference, which is good, but contains awkward phrasing (‘as of the moment’, ‘It's where I found it’). Be specific about what you like in each genre and use clearer English. Limit to one or two supporting details and use linking words like ‘for example’ or ‘especially’.

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoy listening to different styles, such as rock, pop and hip hop. At the moment I prefer hip hop and rap—both English and Tagalog—because I like the strong rhythms and emotional delivery of the vocals.

Sugestão: The answer is clear and relevant but slightly repetitive (‘when I was still a kid’ used twice) and could be more concise. Use a topic sentence followed by one or two specific details (what you learned, a memorable outcome). Avoid repeating the same phrase and correct prepositions (‘enrolled me in’ not ‘into’).

Exemplo: Yes, I took classes as a child when my parents enrolled me in a music school. I learned vocal techniques and how to play instruments, and I even performed at a mall once, which boosted my confidence.

× Yes, because it expresses my thoughts, my dreams, myself overall, and it also taught me how to convey my feelings much better than words alone.

✓ Yes, because it expresses my thoughts and my dreams overall, and it has also taught me how to convey my feelings much better than words alone.

The original mixes present tense ('expresses') with simple past ('taught'). Use present perfect ('has taught') to show an experience that started in the past and continues to the present, keeping consistent aspect with 'expresses'. Also simplify the list to avoid awkward 'myself overall' phrasing by using 'overall'.

× Yes, but I believe that I am already born with it so it's easier for me to sing.

✓ Yes, but I believe that I was born with it, so it is easier for me to sing.

'I am already born' is incorrect; the proper past passive is 'I was born'. Also replace contraction 'it's' with 'it is' optionally for formality; maintain past for the birth event and present for the current ease.

× But when I was a still kid I was enrolled by my parents to a music school to be thought of singing and playing instruments and later on I got in a chorale group which I am very black.

✓ But when I was still a child, my parents enrolled me in a music school to be taught singing and to learn to play instruments, and later I joined a chorale group, which I enjoyed very much.

Multiple issues: 'a still kid' should be 'still a child' (word order and noun choice). 'Enrolled by my parents to a music school' should be 'my parents enrolled me in a music school' (correct preposition and passive/active voice). 'To be thought of singing' is wrong; use 'to be taught singing' (past participle 'taught'). 'Got in a chorale group' is better as 'joined a chorale group'. 'Which I am very black' is unintelligible; likely intended 'which I enjoyed very much' or 'which I liked a lot'.

× There's no particular person on my mind, but I would think for myself because I love myself and it's also a great medium for me to express my emotions and thoughts on some others in life.

✓ There is no particular person on my mind, but I would sing for myself because I love myself, and it is also a great medium for me to express my emotions and thoughts about others in life.

Main problems: 'think for myself' is incorrect in this context; the student means 'sing for myself'. 'It's' expanded to 'it is'. 'Thoughts on some others' is awkward; use 'thoughts about others'. The sentence also uses 'There is' contraction which is acceptable, but expanded here for clarity.

× Yes, for me singing is very artistic because it brings people to feel different kind of emotions like happy, sad, angry and everything.

✓ Yes, for me singing is very artistic because it makes people feel different kinds of emotions, such as happiness, sadness, anger, and more.

'Brings people to feel' is awkward; 'makes people feel' is natural. 'Different kind of emotions' should be 'different kinds of emotions' (plural agreement). List of emotions should use nouns (happiness, sadness, anger) instead of adjectives ('happy').

× Aside from the words alone or giving just a message with no tune, singing is an artistic way to express your emotions and your feelings.

✓ Aside from words alone or giving just a message with no tune, singing is an artistic way to express your emotions and feelings.

Remove the definite article 'the' before 'words' because the phrase refers generally to words. 'Your emotions and your feelings' is redundant; use one or remove repeated possessive for conciseness.

× Yes, I love to explore different kinds of voices like rock, pop and hip hop but at the moment I am fond with hip hop and rap songs, specifically English and Tagalog sounds because they convey more feelings as of the moment.

✓ Yes, I love to explore different genres like rock, pop, and hip hop, but at the moment I am fond of hip hop and rap songs, specifically in English and Tagalog, because they convey more feeling right now.

'Different kinds of voices like rock' mixes categories; 'genres' is better. 'Fond with' is incorrect; correct collocation is 'fond of'. 'English and Tagalog sounds' should be 'in English and Tagalog' or 'songs in English and Tagalog'. 'Convey more feelings as of the moment' is awkward; use 'convey more feeling right now'.

× It's where I found it.

✓ That's where I discovered them.

The pronoun reference is unclear: 'it' likely refers to 'songs' or 'feeling', and 'found' is less natural than 'discovered'. If referring to 'songs' or 'feeling', use plural 'them' or rephrase accordingly. Here 'That's where I discovered them' clarifies meaning.

× Yes. When I was still a kid, my parents enrolled me into a music school to learn how to sing, to learn vocal techniques, and also to learn how to play instruments.

✓ Yes. When I was a child, my parents enrolled me in a music school to learn how to sing, to learn vocal techniques, and to learn how to play instruments.

'Still a kid' is informal and 'into a music school' should be 'in a music school' (correct preposition). 'When I was a child' is clearer. The rest is parallel but streamline repetition of 'to learn'.

× And I'm very grateful for that because I was able to showcase my talents when I was still a kid in the mall.

✓ I am very grateful for that because I was able to showcase my talents at the mall when I was a child.

Minor ordering and preposition correction: 'in the mall' is acceptable, but 'at the mall' is more idiomatic when referring to performing there. Replace 'still a kid' with 'a child' for formality and move time phrase to end for clarity.