Hometown— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence stating where your hometown is, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g., "I live" twice). Use linking words only where needed.

Exemplo: I come from Tangura, a town in Punjab. I live there with my family in a two‑bedroom apartment. It has about 20,000 residents and I like its friendly community and lively local market.

Sugestão: Organize your answer: state one main point, then give specific examples. Avoid filler words (uh, for example repeated) and fix grammar (e.g., "there is a well‑equipped PJ hospital, many cafés, shops and gaming zones"). Use linking words like "for instance" or "also" to connect ideas.

Exemplo: I like that Tangura has almost everything I need, so I rarely travel to other cities. For instance, it has a well‑equipped PJ hospital, several cafés and shops, and gaming zones for entertainment, which makes life very convenient.

Sugestão: Use correct tense and be concise: begin with a clear time statement using present perfect ("I have lived there since I was born") or simple present for duration ("for 20 years"). Avoid unrelated or unclear phrases ("get tea"). Add one brief reason if needed.

Exemplo: I have lived in Tangura since I was born, so about 20 years. I hope to find a job there in the future so I can stay close to my family.

Sugestão: Give a clear opinion and support it with specific examples and balanced language. Avoid absolute claims like "no one can be jobless"—use realistic qualifiers ("many") and mention concrete sectors and activities young people can do. Limit to two or three sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I think Tangura is a good place for young people because it offers many job opportunities in healthcare, retail and customer service. Also, there are social venues like cafés and sports facilities where young people can socialise and relax.

× I live in Tangura city in the state of Punjab with I live with my family in a 2 bedroom apartment.

✓ I live in Tangura city in the state of Punjab with my family in a two-bedroom apartment.

The sentence repeats 'I live' unnecessarily and uses 'I' instead of the possessive pronoun 'my' before 'family'. Also write 'two-bedroom' as a compound adjective before the noun. Suggestion: remove the repeated clause and use 'my family' and hyphenate and spell out numbers in formal speech.'

× It is fairly large town with the population of around 20,000 people and moreover I love it because of the friendly community and the lively local market.

✓ It is a fairly large town with a population of around 20,000 people, and moreover I love it because of the friendly community and the lively local market.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'fairly large town' and 'the' should be removed before 'population' but 'a population' is correct. Also add a comma before the conjunction 'and moreover' for clarity. Suggestion: include 'a' before countable singular nouns and use punctuation to separate clauses.'

× Well, I like that my hometown has almost everything, uh, so I don't need to visit another city for example.

✓ Well, I like that my hometown has almost everything, so I don't need to visit another city, for example.

The phrase 'for example' is misplaced; it should come at the end of the clause or directly after what it qualifies. The filler 'uh' can be omitted in written form. Suggestion: place 'for example' after the clause it modifies and remove filler words.'

× For example, there is a well occupied PJ hospital has given plenty of cafe, shops and gaming zones and for entertainment which makes that convenient and enjoyable.

✓ For example, the well-equipped PJ Hospital has a number of cafes, shops, and gaming zones for entertainment, which makes it convenient and enjoyable.

Sentence is ungrammatical because two verbs ('is' and 'has') conflict. 'Well occupied' is incorrect; 'well-equipped' fits. Use 'the' with a named hospital, pluralize 'cafes', and restructure to place the relative clause correctly. Suggestion: use one main verb, choose appropriate adjective, and order noun phrases logically.'

× I have living in my hometown since I was born, about 20 years.

✓ I have lived in my hometown since I was born, about 20 years.

Present perfect continuous 'have been living' or present perfect 'have lived' is needed; 'have living' is incorrect. Use 'have lived' to express a state from past to present. Suggestion: use 'I have lived...' or 'I have been living...' with 'since' to indicate duration.'

× I really love that area and I hope to get tea, find my work there in the future so I can stay close to my family.

✓ I really love that area and I hope to find work there in the future so I can stay close to my family.

The phrase 'get tea' appears to be a typographical or word-choice error and should be removed. 'Find my work' is unnatural; use 'find work' (no possessive). Also add a comma before 'so' for clarity if desired. Suggestion: use idiomatic expressions: 'find work' and remove unintended words.'

× Well, in my perception, it is the great place to live as it provides ample of economic opportunities.

✓ Well, in my opinion, it is a great place to live as it provides ample economic opportunities.

'In my perception' is awkward; 'in my opinion' is natural. Use 'a great place' not 'the great place' unless specific. 'Ample of' is incorrect; use 'ample' followed directly by a noun or 'a lot of'. Suggestion: use common collocations: 'in my opinion', 'a great place', and 'ample opportunities'.' {

× So no one can be jobless in that place because it has opportunities in healthcare center, in shopping center.

✓ So no one needs to be jobless in that place because it has opportunities in healthcare centers and shopping centers.

'Can be jobless' is awkward; 'needs to be jobless' or 'should be jobless' better expresses intent — here 'needs to be jobless' is also odd; corrected to 'no one needs to be jobless' meaning unemployment is unlikely. Use plural 'centers' when speaking generally and add 'in' appropriately. Suggestion: use correct verb modality and pluralize countable nouns when referring generally.'

× Moreover, there are so many other places.

✓ Moreover, there are many other attractions and places to visit.

The original sentence is vague and incomplete. 'So many other places' is conversational but lack detail; improve clarity by specifying 'attractions and places to visit.' Suggestion: expand vague statements to be more specific and formal.'}]}