Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and use clearer sentence structure. Start with a direct topic sentence, then briefly add one or two supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g. "I am" repeated) and long strings of information without pauses. Use linking words like "and" or "while" appropriately and keep the response within 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: I both work and study. I am currently pursuing a Bachelor's in Business Administration while working as a business manager for a masala tea company which operates outlets at several airports.

Sugestão: Open with a clear topic sentence naming the company and location, then add one specific detail about the role or setting. Avoid repetition ("masala Chai company" and "Chai company") and long clauses. Use a linking phrase like "which is" or "and" to connect ideas smoothly.

Exemplo: I work as a business manager for Thakurji, a masala chai company based in Nasik. It runs branded outlets at several airports across India, and I enjoy the fast-paced airport environment.

Sugestão: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with two concise reasons using linking words such as "because" or "as". Correct small grammar errors ("enjoying" → "enjoy"). Avoid vague phrases like "everything"—be specific about responsibilities.

Exemplo: Yes, it's a good place to work because I enjoy my role and I handle sales and operations independently. This gives me daily learning opportunities and a clear sense of progress.

Sugestão: Be more focused and natural: start with a direct statement, then give one or two specific reasons. Remove filler words ("umm") and redundant phrases ("it gives, it's gives"). Replace vague points ("share everything") with concrete examples of what you enjoy about colleagues or lunches.

Exemplo: Yes, I like my workplace because the team is friendly and supportive, which gives me energy each morning. I also enjoy our communal lunch breaks where we discuss ideas and relax together.

Sugestão: Answer with a clear aim and add a specific reason or plan to achieve it. Correct grammar ("plans is" → "plan is" or "my future plan is") and avoid vague phrases like "handle more things"—describe responsibilities you hope to take on. Use linking words such as "so that" to show purpose.

Exemplo: My future plan is to become the business head at the same company so that I can lead strategy and oversee sales and operations. To achieve this, I aim to gain more leadership experience and deliver stronger sales results.

× I am actually working as well as I am a student and I'm currently pursuing bachelors in business administration while I'm working as a business manager for a masala tea company which is based at different airports so I am doing both jobs.

✓ I am actually working and I am also a student; I'm currently pursuing a bachelor's degree in Business Administration while working as a business manager for a masala tea company that has outlets at several airports, so I am doing both.

Multiple errors: missing article with 'bachelor's degree' (Article errors, ID 22), incorrect sentence structure/run-on (Sentence structure errors, ID 26), incorrect preposition 'based at different airports' better as 'has outlets at several airports' (Incorrect use of prepositions, ID 11), and word order for 'working as well as I am a student' should be 'working and I am also a student' (Sentence structure, ID 26). Suggestion: use articles for degree names, split long run-on sentences with punctuation or conjunctions, and use clear prepositions ('at' for locations of outlets; 'based in' for city).

× I'm currently pursuing bachelors in business administration

✓ I'm currently pursuing a bachelor's degree in Business Administration

Missing article and possessive form for 'bachelor's' (Article errors, ID 22). Use the possessive form 'bachelor's' and include 'degree' when talking about the program. Capitalize proper noun 'Business Administration'. Suggestion: say 'a bachelor's degree in Business Administration'.

× a masala tea company which is based at different airports

✓ a masala tea company that has outlets at different airports

Incorrect preposition/use of 'based at' (Incorrect use of prepositions, ID 11). 'Based in' would suit a city; companies 'have outlets at' airports. Suggestion: use 'has outlets at' or 'operates at' for airport locations.

× So I'm currently working as a business manager for a Thakurji, the masala Chai company, which is basically a Chai company and it's based out of Nasik and they have their own brand outlets at different airports of India and I really enjoy working as a business manager here.

✓ I am currently working as a business manager for Thakurji, the masala chai company, which is based in Nasik and has its own brand outlets at different airports in India; I really enjoy working here.

Run-on sentence and redundant phrasing (Sentence structure errors, ID 26). Also incorrect preposition 'based out of Nasik' should be 'based in Nasik' (Incorrect use of prepositions, ID 11), and inconsistent pronoun number 'they have their own brand outlets' better as 'it has its own brand outlets' (Incorrect use of pronouns/subject-verb agreement, ID 12 and 27). Suggestion: break into shorter clauses, use correct prepositions, and keep pronouns consistent with singular company.

× I really enjoying my role as a business manager here where I am able to handle sales, operations and everything by myself.

✓ I really enjoy my role as a business manager here, where I am able to handle sales, operations, and everything by myself.

Missing auxiliary/verb form: 'enjoying' should be base form 'enjoy' in present simple (Present tense issue, ID 6). Suggestion: use 'I really enjoy' to state habitual or current feelings. Also add commas for clarity.

× I get to learn each day and I think I am doing great here.

✓ I learn something every day, and I think I am doing well here.

Phrase 'get to learn each day' is informal but not wrong; main issue is adjective/adverb misuse 'doing great' more natural 'doing well' in this formal context (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs, ID 13). Also 'each day' often phrased as 'every day'. Suggestion: use 'I learn something every day' and 'doing well'.

× It's a good place to work, I think. I really enjoying my role as a business manager here where I am able to handle sales, operations and everything by myself. I get to learn each day and I think I am doing great here.

✓ It's a good place to work, I think. I really enjoy my role as a business manager here, where I can handle sales, operations, and everything by myself. I learn something every day, and I think I am doing well here.

Combined corrections: 'enjoying' -> 'enjoy' (Present tense, ID 6), 'get to learn each day' -> 'learn something every day' (Adverb/preposition use, ID 11), and 'doing great' -> 'doing well' (Incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs, ID 13). Suggestion: use present simple for habitual actions and choose appropriate adverbs.

× I like the place where I work because it gives, it's gives me a lot of fresh energy, umm, each day when I step in and I love all the colleagues in my office and I get to share everything and I love having my lunch.

✓ I like the place where I work because it gives me a lot of fresh energy every day when I step in. I like all my colleagues in the office; we share things, and I enjoy having lunch with them.

Run-on and redundant phrasing, incorrect repetition 'it gives, it's gives' (Incorrect conjunction/structure, ID 16 and Sentence structure ID 26). 'Each day when I step in' better as 'every day when I arrive'. Also 'love having my lunch' unclear—likely 'enjoy having lunch with them'. Suggestion: split into sentences, remove repetitions, and use clearer verbs.

× My future work plans is that I want to work as the business head at the same place.

✓ My future work plan is that I want to work as the business head at the same company.

Subject-verb agreement and number: 'plans is' should be 'plan is' (Singular/plural issue and Subject-verb agreement, IDs 1 and 27). Also 'same place' better as 'same company' (Preposition/word choice, ID 11). Suggestion: use 'My future work plan is...' or 'My future plans are...'.

× I am aiming to get the higher position in this company so I can handle more things and look at the things with a more diverse view.

✓ I am aiming to obtain a higher position in this company so I can take on more responsibilities and view things from a broader perspective.

Word choice and modal/verb collocation: 'get the higher position' awkward; use 'obtain a higher position' (Verb choice). 'Handle more things' more natural as 'take on more responsibilities' (Incorrect use of nouns/adjectives, ID 13). 'Look at the things with a more diverse view' should be 'view things from a broader perspective' (Sentence structure, ID 26). Suggestion: use formal collocations for career goals and clearer phrases for perspective.