Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use correct verb tenses and articles (e.g., “a restaurant retail company” → better: “the restaurant retail sector” or “a company in restaurant retail”). Avoid redundancy and keep within 3–4 sentences.

Exemplo: I work as a systems analyst in the restaurant retail sector. I have been with my company for two years, where I design and maintain the point-of-sale systems. In particular, I recently led a small project to improve transaction speed by optimizing the checkout software.

Sugestão: Use correct grammar and more natural phrases. Begin with a direct response, then add specific details with linking words. Replace informal words like “wanna” with “want to” and correct verb forms (e.g., “employees,” “inform the team,” “attend meetings”). Limit to 3–4 sentences.

Exemplo: I work in a hybrid arrangement, so employees can choose to work on site or from home. I normally inform the team when I plan to work remotely, and I come into the office twice a week to collaborate and attend meetings. This helps us coordinate on projects more effectively.

Sugestão: Avoid fillers and speak more clearly and coherently. Start with a direct opinion sentence, then give two concrete, specific reasons using linking words. Correct noun phrases and articles (e.g., “an open-plan seating area,” “different types of seats”). Keep answers within 2–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, it’s a great place to work and I often describe it as my ideal workplace. For example, the ground floor has an open-plan seating area and different types of meeting spaces, which encourage informal discussions. Also, the lively atmosphere and on-site coffee options make breaks quick and energizing.

Sugestão: Respond directly and accurately; avoid asking rhetorical questions. Use linking words to combine ideas and correct grammar (e.g., “It’s only two or three minutes from the bus stop,” “near the train station,” “surrounded by many restaurants”). Provide one clear reason or two concise reasons.

Exemplo: Yes, I like the location a lot. It’s only two or three minutes from the bus stop and close to the train station, so commuting is very convenient. In addition, there are many restaurants nearby, which makes finding lunch quick and easy.

Sugestão: Make a clear, concise statement about your goals and use precise vocabulary. Avoid awkward phrases like “grow up in the bigger position” and repetition (“more responsible responsibility”). Use linking words to outline steps or timelines and mention specific goals (e.g., senior analyst, team lead). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: I see myself staying with this company long-term and progressing to a senior or management role. Over the next few years I hope to take on more responsibility by leading projects and mentoring junior analysts, which will prepare me for a team lead position.

× I work as a system analyst in the restaurant retail.

✓ I work as a system analyst in restaurant retail.

The definite article 'the' is unnecessary before the uncountable noun phrase 'restaurant retail'. Removing 'the' makes the phrase natural: 'in restaurant retail' or better 'in the restaurant retail industry'. Consider using 'the restaurant retail industry' for clarity.

× Mainly I maintained and designed the point of sale system.

✓ Mainly I maintain and design the point-of-sale system.

The student says earlier 'I have been working here for two years', indicating a current ongoing role. Using simple past 'maintained' and 'designed' conflicts with that; present simple 'maintain' and 'design' or present continuous for ongoing actions is appropriate. Also hyphenate 'point-of-sale'.

× My company allows employee to work hybrid so we can choose to work on site at the office or remotely from home.

✓ My company allows employees to work hybrid, so we can choose to work on-site at the office or remotely from home.

Plural 'employees' is required (see singular/plural). Also use hyphen in 'on-site' and a comma before 'so'. 'Work hybrid' is colloquial but acceptable; alternatively 'work in a hybrid way' or 'work a hybrid schedule'. The main error addressed is incorrect singular/plural and missing hyphenation.

× It is important to inform team when you wanna work remotely and I usually come twice a week to collaborate with my teams and attending the meetings.

✓ It is important to inform the team when you want to work remotely, and I usually come twice a week to collaborate with my team and attend meetings.

Several issues: 'team' needs the definite article 'the'. 'wanna' is informal; use 'want to'. 'my teams' should be 'my team' if referring to one team; keep consistency. Parallel structure requires 'to collaborate' and 'attend' (not 'attending'). Also remove 'the' before plural 'meetings' is optional; 'attend meetings' is natural.

× Yes of course is my dream place to work honestly.

✓ Yes, of course, it is my dream place to work, honestly.

The sentence lacks the subject 'it' for third-person singular and needs commas for natural pauses. Adding 'it' corrects subject-verb structure: 'it is'.

× Umm, at the first floor we have a open chair working space which we can talk freely, different type of seat to discuss and with the environment full of energy you can walk to order coffees and back to work there.

✓ Umm, on the first floor we have an open-chair working space where we can talk freely, with different types of seats for discussion, and with an energetic environment you can walk to order coffee and return to work there.

Use 'on the first floor' not 'at'. 'a open' should be 'an open'. 'open-chair' or 'open-plan' needs hyphenation; plural 'different types of seats'. Use 'where' instead of 'which' for places. 'Order coffees' is acceptable colloquially but 'order coffee' is more natural. 'Back to work there' changed to 'return to work there'. Also 'environment full of energy' -> 'energetic environment'.

× Yes I do. Is this only two or three minutes to the bus station and close by train station as well?

✓ Yes, I do. It is only two or three minutes to the bus station and close to the train station as well.

Question form 'Is this...' is incorrect here; the speaker is answering and should use declarative 'It is...'. Use 'close to the train station' and include 'the' before stations. Commas improve flow.

× So commuting is pretty easy for us and in addition we are surrounded by lots of restaurant which make lunch pretty easy and pretty comfortable.

✓ So commuting is pretty easy for us, and in addition we are surrounded by lots of restaurants which make lunch pretty easy and comfortable.

'lots of restaurant' needs plural 'restaurants'. Remove redundant 'pretty' before 'comfortable'. Add comma before conjunction. 'Which make' is correct agreeing with plural 'restaurants'.

× I see myself long term in this company.

✓ I see myself long-term at this company.

Use hyphenated adjective 'long-term' before noun and preposition 'at this company' is more natural than 'in this company'.

× So basically I would say I would like to grow up in the bigger position and more responsible responsibility with the company, more senior level or management level here in my software analyst career.

✓ So basically I would say I would like to move into a higher, more responsible position in the company — a more senior or management-level role in my software analyst career.

'Grow up in the bigger position' is unidiomatic. Use 'move into a higher, more responsible position'. Remove redundant 'responsible responsibility'. Use 'senior' or 'management-level role'. This corrects word choice and sentence structure for clarity.