Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be concise and correct word choice; start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar (e.g., 'assist conception' → 'assist conception' or better 'help them conceive'), and limit to 2–3 sentences. Use linking words if adding details.

Exemplo: I work as a registered nurse at a fertility clinic in Lagos State. I enjoy helping couples conceive by assisting with treatments such as IVF and insemination, which makes my job very rewarding.

Sugestão: Begin with a direct statement, then add 1–2 specific supporting details. Correct terminology (use 'intrauterine insemination' instead of 'Tri uterine insemination'), avoid repetition, and use linking words (e.g., 'for example', 'as a result').

Exemplo: I work at a fertility clinic in Lagos State that offers services such as in vitro fertilization and intrauterine insemination. For example, seeing couples succeed in conceiving is very rewarding and motivates me daily.

Sugestão: Answer directly, then give balanced reasons using linking words (e.g., 'however', 'on the other hand'). Avoid repetition and correct awkward phrasing ('look for thoughts' unclear). Be specific about behaviors that make it toxic.

Exemplo: It's a good place to work in terms of the services and patient outcomes; however, the workplace culture is challenging. For instance, some colleagues are uncooperative and often criticize others, which affects teamwork.

Sugestão: State your position clearly, then give 1–2 specific reasons with coherent linking words. Fix grammar ('look towards finding a better offer' → 'look for a better job') and remove unclear phrases ('look for thoughts').

Exemplo: No, I wouldn't choose to stay because of the workplace culture. The environment is toxic and colleagues are often uncooperative, which reduces teamwork and makes me feel undervalued.

Sugestão: Give a concise topic sentence about your plan, then one or two specific details (timeline, steps, or skills). Use clearer phrasing ('aesthetic medicine' or 'cosmetic procedures') and avoid repetition.

Exemplo: I plan to specialize in aesthetic medicine and eventually open my own aesthetic clinic. To prepare, I will complete advanced training in cosmetic procedures and gain business skills so I can run the practice independently.

× I work as a registered nurse in a fertility clinic in Lake Lagos State.

✓ I work as a registered nurse in a fertility clinic in Lagos State.

The word 'Lake' is likely an incorrect insertion; it disrupts the place name. This is a sentence structure/location word choice issue. Remove 'Lake' to correctly name the location as 'Lagos State'.

× I enjoy my work because I help couples who are trying to achieve pregnancy to get that assistant conception by providing facility treatments to them.

✓ I enjoy my work because I help couples who are trying to achieve pregnancy by providing assisted conception and fertility treatments.

Multiple wording and structure problems: 'assistant conception' and 'facility treatments' are incorrect collocations. Use 'assisted conception' and 'fertility treatments'. Also streamline the infinitive phrase: 'to get that' is unnecessary. Reordering makes the sentence clearer and more natural.

× I.

✓ (remove fragment)

A single-letter 'I.' is a sentence fragment without meaning here. Remove it to avoid a sentence without a verb or subject-complement structure.

× I work in a fertility clinic in Lagos State where we provide services like in vitro fertilization and Tri uterine insemination and it's been an experience, exciting experience so far.

✓ I work in a fertility clinic in Lagos State where we provide services such as in vitro fertilization and intrauterine insemination, and it has been an exciting experience so far.

Several issues: 'Tri uterine insemination' is incorrect; the correct term is 'intrauterine insemination'. Use 'such as' for examples. 'It's been an experience, exciting experience' is ungrammatical repetition; use 'an exciting experience'. Also use 'it has' in formal speech. This is sentence structure and word choice.

× It's been quite rewarding having to say the satisfaction on the faces of your clients when they're able to achieve conception and have children of their own just like others.

✓ It has been very rewarding to see the satisfaction on our clients' faces when they are able to achieve conception and have children of their own.

Problems include awkward phrase 'having to say' and wrong possessive 'your clients' in an answer about the speaker's workplace. Use 'to see' and 'our clients' and change 'quite rewarding' to 'very rewarding' if preferred. Also adjust tense and pronouns for clarity.

× Overall, when you talk about the services provided to our clients, it is a good place to work.

✓ Overall, when talking about the services we provide to our clients, it is a good place to work.

Mixing 'you' and 'our' is inconsistent. Use a single perspective; here 'we'/'our' matches speaking about the workplace. Also simplify 'when you talk about' to 'when talking about'.

× But when facing the colleague aspects, the environment, it's not a good place because the people, my colleagues can be quite toxic.

✓ However, in terms of colleague relationships and the work environment, it is not a good place because some of my colleagues can be quite toxic.

Awkward phrasing 'when facing the colleague aspects' and punctuation problems. Rephrase to 'in terms of colleague relationships and the work environment' and use 'some of my colleagues' for naturalness.

× In fact, they are quite toxic and they're always out to look for thoughts from you too.

✓ In fact, they can be quite toxic and are always looking for faults in you.

'Look for thoughts from you' is incorrect collocation. The intended meaning is likely 'looking for faults' or 'criticizing you'. Also adjust tense/modal to 'can be' to soften absolute statement.

× I do not like the place I work and I look towards finding it better offer because of my colleagues.

✓ I do not like the place where I work and I am looking for a better offer because of my colleagues.

Problems: 'look towards finding it better offer' is ungrammatical. Use 'looking for a better offer' or 'seeking a better job'. Also add 'where' after 'place' for correctness and use progressive 'am looking' for current plan.

× The environment is quite toxic and the my colleagues seem uncooperative thereby leading to lesser teamwork.

✓ The environment is quite toxic and my colleagues seem uncooperative, which leads to less teamwork.

Remove extra article 'the' before 'my colleagues'. 'Lesser teamwork' is unnatural; use 'less teamwork'. Use a relative clause 'which leads to' for clarity.

× They always have to look for thoughts and make you feel like you are doing nothing.

✓ They are always looking for faults and make you feel like you are doing nothing.

Again 'look for thoughts' is incorrect; replace with 'looking for faults' or 'criticisms'. Use present continuous 'are always looking' for habitual annoyance.

× I plan on specializing in aesthetics and running my own aesthetic clinic where I can provide cosmetic surgery benefits to people in need of them and also own a business of mine without having to be under someone else and I can work at my own pace.

✓ I plan to specialize in aesthetics and run my own aesthetic clinic where I can provide cosmetic procedures to people who need them, own my business rather than work under someone else, and work at my own pace.

'Plan on' is acceptable but 'plan to' is more concise. 'Cosmetic surgery benefits' is awkward; use 'cosmetic procedures'. Streamline the sentence to avoid repetition and ensure parallel verb forms: 'specialize', 'run', 'own', 'work'. This corrects tense and sentence structure for clarity.