Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be direct, concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your current status, correct grammar (e.g., 'pursuing my bachelor's degree'), avoid redundancy, and limit to 2–3 sentences. If mentioning future possibility, add one specific reason. Use linking words sparingly (e.g., 'but' or 'however').

Exemplo: I'm currently a student pursuing my bachelor's degree at Pukara University. However, I would consider a part-time job in a café or restaurant in the future to gain work experience and earn extra money.

Sugestão: Begin with a direct answer saying where you work now. Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences, correct small grammar issues (e.g., 'I usually work from 12 to 4 pm at a nearby café called Burrito Cafe'), and use linking words ('because' or 'so') only when adding reason or context. Provide one specific detail about your shift or why you chose that place.

Exemplo: Although I'm a student, I usually work from 12 to 4 pm at a nearby café called Burrito Cafe. I chose it because it's close to my home and fits well with my class schedule.

Sugestão: Avoid repetition and filler words. Start with a clear judgment ('Yes, it's a great place to work') and follow with 1–2 specific reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'and'. Use precise adjectives (e.g., 'calm', 'pleasant', 'supportive staff').

Exemplo: Yes, it's a great place to work because the atmosphere is calm and pleasant, and my colleagues are supportive and friendly.

Sugestão: Be concise and remove redundant phrases ('because it's because'). Start with a clear statement and give one or two specific details explaining why you like it, using connectors like 'because' or 'and'. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I like working there because it has a peaceful atmosphere and attractive décor, including warm lighting and many indoor plants. These features make my shifts enjoyable.

Sugestão: Answer directly with a realistic plan and correct grammar ('I have completed my bachelor's in Business Administration'). Avoid unrealistic immediate titles like 'bank CEO'—instead state career goals and steps (e.g., 'work in banking or start my own business, and gain experience in finance or management'). Use linking words to show sequence or reasons.

Exemplo: I have completed my bachelor's in Business Administration, and I plan to work in the banking sector or start my own business. To reach that goal, I intend to gain experience in finance or management roles and take professional courses in entrepreneurship.

× Well right now I'm a student and currently posting my bachelor degree from Pukara University.

✓ Well, right now I'm a student and currently pursuing my bachelor's degree at Pukara University.

The original uses 'posting' incorrectly; the correct verb is 'pursuing' or 'doing' when studying. Also 'bachelor degree' needs possessive form 'bachelor's degree' and the preposition should be 'at' for institutions. Use present continuous 'I'm ... pursuing' to show ongoing action.

× But if I get a chance in the future to work part time job then I would love to do work as a part time in any business or restaurant.

✓ But if I get a chance in the future to work a part-time job, then I would love to work part-time in a business or restaurant.

Redundant and incorrect phrases: use 'work a part-time job' or 'work part-time', not 'work part time job'. Also 'would love to do work as a part time' is ungrammatical; use 'would love to work part-time'. Hyphenate 'part-time' when used as an adjective.

× Currently I'm a student so I have to attend my classes during the morning, so I usually work at the daytime like 12 to 4:00 in the cafe which is very close to my house and the name of cafe is Burrito Cafe.

✓ Currently I'm a student so I have to attend my classes in the morning, so I usually work in the daytime from 12 to 4:00 at a cafe which is very close to my house; the name of the cafe is Burrito Cafe.

Use 'in the morning' not 'during the morning'. 'Work in the daytime' is correct; use 'from 12 to 4:00'. Use 'at a cafe' and include the definite article 'the' before 'name of the cafe'. Also avoid run-on sentence by separating clauses.

× Yes, yes, it's very peaceful and natural atmosphere, uh, in the cafe and the environment is very beautiful and uh, the work environment is uh, really better and the people in my cafe are very helpful and kind.

✓ Yes, it's a very peaceful and natural atmosphere in the cafe, and the environment is very beautiful; the work environment is really good and the people at my cafe are very helpful and kind.

Use the article 'a' before 'very peaceful and natural atmosphere'. 'Really better' is awkward; use 'really good' or 'much better' with a comparison. Use 'at my cafe' not 'in my cafe' for people working there. Remove filler 'uh' for clarity.

× Yes, I like the place where I work because it's because it is of my type, like peaceful atmosphere and attractive decoration with lights and natural green indoor plants.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work because it suits me: it has a peaceful atmosphere and attractive decorations with lights and indoor green plants.

Redundant 'because it's because it is' should be reduced to 'because it suits me' or 'because it is my type'. Use 'suits me' for suitability. 'Decoration' should be plural 'decorations' and reorder phrase to 'it has a peaceful atmosphere'. 'Indoor green plants' is clearer than 'natural green indoor plants'.

× So I really enjoy working there and love the place.

✓ So I really enjoy working there and I love the place.

Add subject 'I' before 'love the place' to make two parallel coordinated clauses with explicit subjects; otherwise it's informal but acceptable; adding 'I' clarifies the sentence structure.

× Well I have completed my bachelor in Business administrative field.

✓ Well, I have completed my bachelor's degree in the field of Business Administration.

Use 'bachelor's degree' (possessive) and 'Business Administration' as the proper noun. 'In the field of' clarifies the area of study. Capitalize proper name 'Business Administration'.

× So I would like to work in that sector as a bank CEO or any entrepreneurship.

✓ So I would like to work in that sector, perhaps as a bank CEO or as an entrepreneur.

'Any entrepreneurship' is incorrect; the correct noun for a person is 'entrepreneur'. Use 'perhaps' to show possibility and parallel structure 'as a bank CEO or as an entrepreneur'.

× So my future plans is to work in the business related field like banks or industries.

✓ So my future plans are to work in business-related fields like banking or industry.

Subject 'plans' is plural, so verb must be 'are' not 'is'. Use 'business-related fields' with a hyphen and plural. 'Like banks or industries' is better as 'like banking or industry' for broader categories.