Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Good direct response and relevant details. To improve, make the answer slightly more concise, avoid repetition, and use smoother phrasing (combine short clauses and use linking words). Keep to under five sentences and ensure natural collocation (e.g., "I work at an aged-care facility" rather than "in an aged care facility").

Exemplo: I work full-time. I completed a Master of Social Work and now work at an aged-care facility, where I help elderly residents with daily activities and emotional support.

Sugestão: The answer contains useful information but has several problems: grammatical errors, an unfinished sentence, and some redundancy. Improve by using correct prepositions and sentence structure, linking ideas (e.g., "because, so"), and completing thoughts. Keep it to a few clear sentences and avoid sentence fragments.

Exemplo: I work at an aged-care facility on the north side of Sydney, in a quiet neighbourhood, which helps me concentrate. There is no train service nearby, so I usually travel to work by public bus or occasionally by car.

Sugestão: The response answers directly but is repetitive, ungrammatical, and incomplete. Improve by giving a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting reasons with examples, and use linking words (e.g., "because, for example"). Avoid repeating words and finish sentences fully.

Exemplo: Yes, it's a great place to work because my colleagues and managers are very supportive. For example, they help me when I have difficult cases and we often share ideas to improve resident care.

Sugestão: The answer conveys preference but is repetitive and has hesitations. Improve fluency by combining sentences, avoiding filler words, and giving a brief reason with linking words (e.g., "because"). Keep it natural and concise.

Exemplo: Yes, I like working there. It's in Mosman, a quiet area, and I prefer calm environments, so I enjoy going to work every day.

Sugestão: Good clear intention and motivation but contains vocabulary confusion (physiotherapy vs psychotherapy) and grammatical errors. Improve by using precise terms, correct grammar, and a linking phrase to explain motivation. Provide one concrete plan or step you will take.

Exemplo: In the future I plan to move into the counselling sector because I'm passionate about psychotherapy and helping people with mental health issues. For example, I intend to complete a counselling certification next year so I can work as a mental health counsellor.

× I'm working right now. Currently I have completed my Master of Social Work degree and now I'm working in an aged care facility where I assist elderly people in their daily activities.

✓ I'm working right now. I have completed my Master of Social Work degree, and now I work in an aged-care facility where I assist elderly people with their daily activities.

The original mixes simple present and present perfect incorrectly and uses 'assist ... in' which is less natural than 'assist ... with'. Use 'I have completed' (present perfect) to indicate a past action with present relevance, and use 'now I work' (simple present) to describe habitual or current job. Hyphenate 'aged-care' as a compound adjective and change 'in their daily activities' to 'with their daily activities' for correct preposition use.

× I'm working in an east care facility. It's in north side of Sydney. It's a very quiet place.

✓ I'm working in an aged-care facility. It's on the north side of Sydney. It's a very quiet place.

Use 'aged-care facility' (common collocation) not 'east care'. For location, use 'on the north side' rather than 'in north side'. 'On the north side' is the correct prepositional phrase for that area of a city.

× It which helps me to concentrate in my work.

✓ This helps me to concentrate on my work.

The clause 'It which helps' is ungrammatical. Replace with 'This helps' and use the correct preposition 'concentrate on' rather than 'concentrate in'.

× But this place doesn't have any train service.

✓ But this place doesn't have any train service.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable; no change needed. (Kept for completeness.)

× I get to my workplace by public bus and sometimes I.

✓ I get to my workplace by public bus, and sometimes I drive.

The original sentence is incomplete ('and sometimes I.'). Add the missing verb to complete the sentence, e.g., 'drive' if the speaker sometimes drives. Ensure parallel structure after 'and'.

× Yes, it's such a good place to work I would recommend this place to any of my friends or relatives because there I I have made such a wonderful person over there The coworkers, managers and every other staff over there are such a wonderful person They are very.

✓ Yes, it's a very good place to work. I would recommend it to my friends and relatives because I have met so many wonderful people there. The coworkers, managers and other staff are all very kind and supportive.

Original has repetition, wrong quantifiers ('any of my friends or relatives' awkward), incorrect verbs ('have made such a wonderful person'), and singular/plural mismatch ('every other staff ... are such a wonderful person'). Use 'a very good place', 'recommend it to my friends and relatives', 'met so many wonderful people', and make 'staff' plural agreement with 'are' and use appropriate adjectives 'kind and supportive'.

× Would you like the place where you work?

✓ Do you like the place where you work?

Question 'Would you like the place where you work?' asks about a hypothetical preference; the examiner intends to ask about the student's current feelings. Use 'Do you like' to ask about present preference rather than 'Would you like'. (This aligns tense and meaning with context.)

× Yes, I like it. It's located in Mosman, Sydney. It's a quiet area. I like, I don't like crowd crowded places. So I, I, I love going there.

✓ Yes, I like it. It's located in Mosman, Sydney. It's a quiet area. I don't like crowded places, so I love going there.

Original contains repetition and incorrect adjective form 'crowd' instead of 'crowded'. Remove repetitions and place 'don't like' before 'crowded places'. Combine clauses with 'so' for clarity.

× I have planned to work in counseling sector in my coming future because I am extremely passionate about physiotherapy, psychotherapy and counseling.

✓ I plan to work in the counseling sector in the near future because I am extremely passionate about physiotherapy, psychotherapy, and counseling.

Use 'I plan' (present simple) or 'I am planning' rather than 'I have planned' which implies a completed action; 'in my coming future' is unnatural—use 'in the near future'. Add 'the' before 'counseling sector' and include commas in the list.

× I would love to be help of someone who is struggling with their mental health situation.

✓ I would love to be of help to someone who is struggling with their mental health.

Original misorders words and omits necessary prepositions: use 'be of help to' or 'help someone'. 'Their mental health situation' is wordy—'their mental health' is clearer. Ensure correct pronoun agreement and preposition use.