Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Make your answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details. Avoid awkward phrasing like "I'm quite fulfilling" and filler words (uh).

Exemplo: I'm a medical doctor and also a graduate student. This keeps me very busy; for example, I work mornings at the hospital and attend seminars in the evenings, but I find the work rewarding because I’m learning new skills every day.

Sugestão: Give a direct, clear location statement and add one specific detail about the place. Use natural phrasing and correct word order (e.g., "western part of Kobe") and avoid repetition.

Exemplo: I work at a hospital in the western part of Kobe, which is just west of Osaka. Kobe is a beautiful, modern city with a pleasant waterfront and good public transport, so it’s easy to commute.

Sugestão: Answer directly and politely with your own opinion, and avoid confusing or negative phrasing. If mentioning problems, be specific and use neutral language rather than vague hearsay like "they say."

Exemplo: I think the hospital has challenges but is still a meaningful place to work. For instance, we see many patients from low-income backgrounds, which can strain resources, but the staff are dedicated and the work is important.

Sugestão: Provide a clear reason why you like the workplace, and correct the unclear sentence about "failed every day." Use linking words (because/so) and specific examples of satisfaction or challenges.

Exemplo: Yes, I like working there because the local community really needs our services. For example, treating patients who otherwise have limited access to care gives me a strong sense of purpose, even though it can be emotionally demanding at times.

Sugestão: Give a clear plan with a short explanation of why and how. Be specific about the kind of research and how your experience will help. Keep it concise and natural.

Exemplo: I plan to work at a university doing medical research, focusing on community health issues. I hope to apply my clinical experience in western Kobe to study local health disparities and develop better primary-care interventions.

× I'm working as a medical doctor, but I'm also studying as a graduate student, which is pretty busy but I'm quite fulfilling every day.

✓ I work as a medical doctor, and I'm also a graduate student, which keeps me quite busy but makes me feel fulfilled every day.

The original mixes progressive and stative verbs awkwardly. 'I'm working' suggests temporary action; for occupations 'I work' or 'I'm a medical doctor' is more natural (present simple). 'Studying as a graduate student' is better as 'I'm also a graduate student'. 'I'm quite fulfilling' is incorrect because 'fulfilling' describes something that causes fulfillment; the speaker should say 'makes me feel fulfilled' or 'I feel fulfilled'. Use consistent present tense forms and correct adjective use.

× I work at a hospital which is located in western area of Kobe. Kobe is West of Osaka city. It's beautiful urban city.

✓ I work at a hospital located in the western area of Kobe. Kobe is west of Osaka city. It's a beautiful, urban city.

Missing articles and incorrect preposition use: say 'the western area' rather than 'western area'. 'West' should be lowercase as a direction: 'west of Osaka city'. Also need the article 'a' before 'beautiful, urban city'. Add commas between coordinate adjectives 'beautiful, urban'.

× Actually, they say my hospital is isn't a good place to work because there are a lot of people, uh, who are in low socioeconomic status.

✓ Actually, people say my hospital isn't a good place to work because there are a lot of people who are of low socioeconomic status.

Confusing pronoun 'they say' can be kept but 'my hospital is isn't' has a contraction error (double negative). Remove extra 'is'. 'Who are in low socioeconomic status' is unnatural; use 'who are of low socioeconomic status'. Also removing filler 'uh' improves clarity.

× Yes, absolutely. People around there absolutely need our medical care. So I'm who failed every day so much.

✓ Yes, absolutely. People in that area really need our medical care. So I feel like I fail every day so much.

'People around there' is informal; 'people in that area' is better. 'So I'm who failed' is ungrammatical: the intended meaning is likely 'I feel like I fail every day' or 'I feel defeated every day'. Use the appropriate pronoun and verb structure 'I feel like I fail' to express the speaker's emotion. 'So much' can follow for emphasis but position it after the verb phrase.

× I'd like to work at the university conducting medical research every day. I want to utilize my experience in the West of Kobe.

✓ I'd like to work at a university conducting medical research. I want to use my experience from western Kobe.

'At the university' can imply a specific university; use 'at a university' unless a particular one is meant. 'Conducting medical research every day' is redundant; conducting research (present simple) suffices. 'Utilize' is formal; 'use' is more natural. 'In the West of Kobe' is better phrased 'from western Kobe' or 'in western Kobe'. Be consistent with article use and natural phrasing.