Shopping— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve clarity and accuracy: give a clear topic sentence, avoid pauses and unclear phrases, and use specific reasons with linking words. For example, say you enjoy shopping to discover new trends and relax. Keep it within 2–3 concise sentences and correct phrasing (e.g., “shopping helps me discover current trends and relax”).

예시: I enjoy shopping because it helps me discover current fashion trends and relax after a busy week. For example, browsing stores shows me new styles and gives me ideas for updating my wardrobe.

제안: Make the answer more natural and logical: start with a clear topic sentence, use linking words to explain reasons, and correct grammar (e.g., ‘I compare prices to save money’). Provide a specific example of when you compared prices and the result. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I usually compare prices to save money and make my budget go further. For instance, I once compared two online stores and saved 20%, which allowed me to buy a jacket and still afford dinner out.

제안: Speak more directly and coherently: give a clear topic sentence, use linking words (e.g., ‘however’, ‘for example’), and give a specific contrasting example if decision-making becomes hard. Avoid filler sounds and incomplete sentences. Aim for 2–3 complete sentences with a clear example.

예시: Not usually — it depends on whether I have a clear goal. For example, if I know I need a specific shirt, I decide quickly; however, when there are many similar options, I take longer because I compare styles and prices.

제안: Be more concise and use precise language: state your opinion clearly, then give a reason and a brief example. Use linking words like ‘because’ and ‘for example’. Correct grammar and avoid repetition. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: No, I don’t think expensive products are always better because quality varies by brand and item. For example, I once bought an affordable kitchen knife that performed as well as a costly one, so I prefer to judge by reviews and performance rather than price alone.

× Actually, I really like to go shopping because uh, this behavior can read less myself.

✓ Actually, I really like to go shopping because, uh, this helps me relax.

The original sentence uses the pronoun 'this' and the verb 'read' incorrectly. 'This behavior' is unnatural; use 'this' or 'shopping' as the subject. 'Read less myself' is incorrect word choice and likely intended 'relax' or 'read less' is wrong. Replace with 'this helps me relax' to convey the intended meaning. Also add a comma after 'because' for clarity.

× Or uh, can help me to know what is the trend now?

✓ Or, uh, it can help me to know what the current trends are.

The sentence lacks a clear subject; 'can help me' needs an explicit subject like 'it'. 'What is the trend now' has incorrect word order for an indirect question; use 'what the current trends are'. Use plural 'trends' if referring generally and add 'current' for naturalness.

× From my perspective I I will compare the price during my shopping because the price more cheaper and this can last me to cost less.

✓ From my perspective, I compare prices when I shop because the prices are cheaper and this helps me spend less.

Repeated 'I' is an error. Use simple present 'I compare' for habitual actions rather than 'will compare'. 'Price' should be plural 'prices'. 'More cheaper' is ungrammatical; use 'cheaper' alone or 'more inexpensive'. 'This can last me to cost less' is incorrect structure; use 'this helps me spend less.' Added commas improve readability.

× Also can that me have more budgets to spend on other things?

✓ Also, it can allow me to have more budget to spend on other things.

Sentence lacks proper word order and subject. 'Can that me' is incorrect; use 'it can allow me' or 'this can give me'. 'Budgets' is usually uncountable here; use 'budget' or 'more money'.

× Umm, not really. This depends on the things that I want to buy.

✓ Umm, not really. It depends on the items I want to buy.

'This depends on the things that I want to buy' is understandable but wordy. Use 'It depends on the items I want to buy' for natural phrasing. 'This' to 'It' is more appropriate; 'things' to 'items' is more specific.

× Umm, for example, if today I have a clear goal that I already know, I will by what kind of things?

✓ Umm, for example, if today I have a clear goal and already know what I want, I will buy those items.

'I will by' uses wrong verb spelling 'by' instead of 'buy'. The question form 'what kind of things?' is awkward after 'I will'; rephrase to 'already know what I want, I will buy those items.' Use simple future or present depending on context; here present/future both acceptable but clarity prefers 'will buy'.

× And there's no need to make a lot of choice.

✓ And there's no need to make a lot of choices.

'Choice' should be plural 'choices' when referring to multiple options. The sentence is otherwise acceptable after plural correction.

× But if the things have a lot of times and this will let me feel.

✓ But if there are many options, I might feel overwhelmed.

Original sentence is incomplete and ungrammatical: 'the things have a lot of times' is meaningless. Likely intended 'there are a lot of options' or 'many choices'. 'This will let me feel' is incomplete; specify the feeling, e.g., 'overwhelmed'. Use 'there are' for existence.

× In fact, I would say no, because I think this depends on the product, the quality of the products.

✓ In fact, I would say no, because I think it depends on the product and its quality.

Use a consistent pronoun 'it' as subject, and match singular/plural: 'the product, the quality of the products' mixes singular and plural. Use 'product and its quality' for clarity and agreement.

× If this item that's in a cheap price, but it has a great quality and I don't need to I, I think there's no need to buy expensive ones.

✓ If an item is cheap but has great quality and I don't need anything more, I don't think there's a need to buy expensive ones.

Several issues: 'that's in a cheap price' is incorrect phrasing; use 'is cheap' or 'is at a low price'. The clause 'and I don't need to I, I think' is garbled; clarify intention. Rephrase to 'and I don't need anything more' or 'and it meets my needs.' Ensure sentence flow: conditional 'If an item is cheap but has great quality' followed by result clause 'I don't think there's a need to buy expensive ones.'