Friends— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 比較が明確で、過去と現在の具体例もあります。ただし、“outdoor”は副詞として“outdoors”、“enough time to play with”は“enough time to play”、“at Cafe”は“at a café”とします。また、“however”の前はピリオドまたはセミコロンにし、“catch up with”の目的語は文脈上不要です。最後まで自然に文を完結させ、4文程度にまとめるとより効果的です。

예시: Yes, there is quite a big difference. When I was a child, I usually met my friends outdoors to play soccer after school because we had plenty of free time. These days, I tend to meet them at a café instead, since we are all too busy to spend hours playing outside.

제안: 理由と例を示そうとしている点は良いですが、“It had hard to say one thing”は“It’s hard to give one specific reason”とし、最後の文が未完なので必ず完結させてください。“prefer a café or casual restaurant to go with some friends”より、“prefer meeting friends in a café or casual restaurant”の方が自然です。場所の雰囲気について具体的な形容詞を加えると、内容と語彙の評価が上がります。

예시: Some places are suitable because they are comfortable and allow people to talk easily. For instance, I would not choose a library because it is quiet and speaking there could disturb others. I would prefer a café or a casual restaurant with a relaxed atmosphere, where my friends and I could chat freely.

제안: 意見、理由、効果の流れが明確で、内容も質問に直接答えています。“Open one to one conversation”は“Having a one-to-one conversation”とし、動詞の一致にも注意してください。“hearing their own opinions”は“listening to their opinions”の方が自然です。最後に具体的な場面を短く加えると、より説得力が増します。

예시: Personally, I prefer spending time with one close friend rather than with a group. Having a one-to-one conversation helps me build a stronger relationship, and I feel more comfortable sharing my honest opinions. For example, we can discuss personal problems without worrying about being interrupted.

제안: 肯定的な答えと理由がありますが、“chatting with my friend every day”は質問内容に対してやや不自然で、“chatting with my friends”が適切です。“making meals for them and start them together”は“cooking a meal for them and sharing it together”などに直してください。ホームパーティーや一緒にする活動を具体的に述べ、文末を完結させてください。

예시: Yes, I definitely would. I enjoy chatting with my friends, so I would invite them over for a relaxed evening. I would probably cook a meal for them, and we could eat together, watch a film, and catch up at my house.

제안: 友人の重要性と、長く付き合っている理由を述べていますが、“we should share your perspectives”は“we share similar perspectives”または“we share our perspectives”とします。“That's why now I'm keeping in touch”は“so I make an effort to keep in touch with them”が自然です。支え合った具体例を一つ加えると、内容がより明確になります。

예시: Friends are very important to me. I went to secondary school with several of them, and we have known each other for about six years. We share similar perspectives on life and support each other when we face difficulties, so I make an effort to keep in touch with them.

제안: 頻度について直接答え、理由と代替手段も示せています。ただし、“universities study”は“university studies”、“club activity”は複数なら“club activities”とし、“every day”の重複を避けてください。“on my smart phones”は“on my smartphone”、“in my proactive”は意味が不明なので“through messaging apps”などに置き換えます。

예시: No, I don’t go out with my friends very often because I’m busy with my university studies and club activities. However, I still keep in touch with them through my smartphone. We usually send messages or have a quick video call when we have some free time.

제안: 大学で会うという直接的な答えはありますが、“the university we belong to”は“our university”の方が自然です。“same triangle loot”と“cafeterriers”は不明瞭または誤用なので、実際に言いたい場所を“same campus”や“cafeterias”として明確にしてください。“some food and something like that”のような曖昧な表現を避け、具体的な食事や会話を述べます。

예시: We often meet on our university campus, especially in the cafeteria. We have classes in the same area, and there are several cafés and restaurants nearby. As a result, it is easy for us to have lunch together and chat between classes.

제안: 複数の活動とサッカーを好きな理由があり、内容は比較的具体的です。ただし、“which make me a sense of belongings”は“which gives me a sense of belonging”とします。最初の文に“and”が多いため、文を分けて論理を明確にしてください。“belonging”が何を意味するのか、チームワークなどを少し説明すると効果的です。

예시: I usually play video games, chat, and play football with my friends. I especially enjoy football because I was a member of my high school team. Playing it with my friends gives me a strong sense of belonging and reminds me of the teamwork I learned at school.

제안: 長期間の友人、関係が続いている理由、具体例を含めており、基本構成は良いです。“outlooks and interest”は“outlooks and interests”と複数形にしてください。最後の“keep in touch with them collectors”は誤りなので、“I’ll definitely keep in touch with them”とします。過去の支援について、どのように助け合ったかをより自然に述べるとよいでしょう。

예시: Yes, I have a few friends from secondary school whom I have known for more than six years. We have stayed close because we share similar outlooks and interests. For example, we studied together and supported each other while applying to university. I hope we will continue keeping in touch even after we start our careers.

× When I was a child, I used to meet friends outdoor and play soccer after school.

✓ When I was a child, I used to meet friends outdoors and play soccer after school.

Outdoors is the adverb used to describe an activity that happens outside. Outdoor is normally an adjective, as in outdoor activities.

× That's because we had enough time to play with.

✓ That's because we had enough time to play.

Play does not need with when no specific person or object follows it. Play with someone means to spend time playing together with that person.

× However, now I meet friends at Cafe and inside the place because we don't have enough time to catch up with.

✓ However, now I meet friends at a cafe or indoors because we don't have enough time to catch up with them.

A singular countable noun such as cafe needs an article. Use a when referring to any one cafe. Also, catch up with requires an object, such as them.

× However, now I meet friends at Cafe and inside the place because we don't have enough time to catch up with.

✓ However, now I meet friends at a cafe or indoors because we don't have enough time to catch up with them.

The phrasal verb catch up with must be followed by the person or people you talk to. Therefore, them is needed here.

× It had hard to say one thing.

✓ It is hard to say just one thing.

The expression describing a current difficulty is It is hard, not It had hard. The present tense is required because the difficulty exists now.

× But I would prefer a cafe or casual restaurant to go with some friends where the atmosphere is

✓ But I would prefer a cafe or casual restaurant where I could go with some friends and where the atmosphere is relaxed.

The original sentence is unfinished because the final clause stops after is. Complete the clause with an adjective such as relaxed and connect it clearly to the main sentence.

× Open one to one conversation help me build a closer relationship.

✓ An open one-to-one conversation helps me build a closer relationship.

A singular countable noun phrase needs an article, so an is required before open. One-to-one is written with hyphens when it modifies conversation.

× Open one to one conversation help me build a closer relationship.

✓ An open one-to-one conversation helps me build a closer relationship.

The subject conversation is singular, so the present-tense verb must be helps, not help.

× They have been my friends for about six years so we should share your perspectives on life and support each other.

✓ They have been my friends for about six years, so we share our perspectives on life and support each other.

The pronouns must agree with the subject we. Use our, not your. The meaning also describes a regular present relationship, so share is more appropriate than should share.

× This is because I'm busy with my universities study and club activity every day.

✓ This is because I'm busy with my university studies and club activities every day.

University studies is the natural plural expression for academic work. Club activities should also be plural when referring to regular involvement in more than one activity.

× But still I can keep in touch with them on my smart phones and I usually chat together in my proactive.

✓ But I can still keep in touch with them on my smartphone, and I usually chat with them proactively.

Proactive is an adjective, but an adverb is needed to describe how the student chats, so proactively is correct. Also, chat with them is the appropriate expression; chat together cannot be followed by them in this way.

× There are some cafeterriers and other kind of restaurants.

✓ There are some cafeterias and other kinds of restaurants.

Other kinds must be plural because it refers to several types of restaurants. The noun kind agrees with the plural meaning of the phrase.

× I especially enjoy football because I was a member of my high school football club, so I still like playing with friends which make me a sense of belongings.

✓ I especially enjoy football because I was a member of my high school football club, so I still like playing with friends, which gives me a sense of belonging.

The original relative clause is not structured correctly. The expression gives me a sense of belonging is the correct structure for explaining that an activity creates this feeling.

× We've stayed close because we share similar outlooks and interest.

✓ We've stayed close because we share similar outlooks and interests.

The nouns outlooks and interests should have matching plural forms because the speaker is referring to multiple views and areas of interest.

× Of course, I will keep in touch with them collectors.

✓ Of course, I will keep in touch with them closely.

Closely is the adverb needed to describe the manner of keeping in touch. Collectors is a noun and cannot function as an adverb in this sentence.