Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., "I see ads every day on Instagram"), and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition and filler words.

예시: I see ads on my phone every day, especially on Instagram. For example, they often show cooking tools and kitchen gadgets that match my interests, so I sometimes click to learn more.

제안: Begin with a clear statement about the memorable ad, correct grammar and word order, and give one specific contrasting detail with a linking word (e.g., "but" or "however"). Keep it to two or three sentences.

예시: Yes. I remember an advertisement starring my favorite actor; he usually plays serious roles, but in the commercial he acted silly, which surprised me and made the ad memorable.

제안: Provide a direct, well-structured answer about your local situation. Use linking words to compare locations and give one specific example. Fix unclear phrases and avoid incomplete sentences.

예시: Not in Sydney, I don't see many ads on trains. However, in my country it is common to find large posters and bus adverts near busy train stations and popular bus stops.

제안: State your opinion clearly, correct collocations (e.g., "department store"), and give a specific reason with one linked example. Remove fillers like "uh" and repeat words less.

예시: Yes, I like some advertisements because they are persuasive. For instance, when I see department store ads for kitchenware, I often feel tempted to buy a new gadget.

제안: Answer directly with a topic sentence naming the preferred medium, then give a specific reason and example. Complete your sentences and use correct phrasing (e.g., "I'm used to" and "memorable music").

예시: I prefer TV advertisements because I grew up watching them and they often use memorable music. For example, a catchy jingle from a cereal ad still stays in my mind years later.

× Yeah, I I say the other advertisements every day on my phone whenever I open my Instagram.

✓ Yeah, I see lots of advertisements every day on my phone whenever I open Instagram.

The original sentence has repetition ('I I'), wrong verb 'say' instead of 'see', and awkward phrase 'the other advertisements'. Use 'see lots of advertisements' and drop the article before 'Instagram'. This corrects sentence structure and word choice.

× They show me what I interested, like cooking tools and equipment.

✓ They show me things I'm interested in, like cooking tools and equipment.

Original uses incorrect clause 'what I interested' and missing preposition. Use 'things I'm interested in' or 'what I'm interested in' to form a proper relative clause and include the preposition 'in'.

× Yeah, I remember I saw an advertisement feature of my favorite actor.

✓ Yeah, I remember seeing an advertisement featuring my favorite actor.

Change 'I remember I saw' to 'I remember seeing' for natural expression. Use the gerund 'seeing' after 'remember' to describe a past experience and 'featuring' as the correct participle form modifying 'advertisement'.

× He is very old man, but usually he featured on the drama like in the serious character, but in the advertisement he was like silly.

✓ He is a very old man, and he usually appears in dramas in serious roles, but in the advertisement he was silly.

Add the article 'a' before 'very old man'. Use 'appears in dramas' rather than 'featured on the drama', and 'in serious roles' instead of 'in the serious character'. Remove the filler 'like' and simplify to 'he was silly'. This fixes adjective use, article omission, and awkward phrasing.

× Where in Sydney I didn't see some kinds of earth, but in my country it's common that the other advertisement we put the advertisement on the bus whenever we go to the famous train station or bus stop, they.

✓ In Sydney I don't see that kind of advertising, but in my country it's common to put advertisements on buses and at train stations or bus stops.

The original sentence is confusing with wrong words ('earth') and mixed tenses. Use present simple 'don't see' for general statement about Sydney. Replace 'some kinds of earth' with 'that kind of advertising' and simplify the second clause to 'it's common to put advertisements on buses and at train stations or bus stops'. Remove stray 'they'.

× Yeah, I like advertisement because it's very tempting to buy something and, uh, whenever I see the department management like kitchen tours or something like that, I really want to buy something.

✓ Yeah, I like advertisements because they're very tempting; whenever I see department displays like kitchenware sections or appliance ads, I really want to buy something.

Use plural 'advertisements' and plural verb 'they're'. 'Department management' is incorrect; use 'department displays' or 'department stores' and more precise terms like 'kitchenware sections' or 'appliance ads'. This fixes article and word choice errors and clarifies meaning.

× Well, let's say for me, on the TV is very appealing to me because from my childhood I'm used to watching the advertisement on TV and sometimes they put the music on the.

✓ Well, TV advertisements are very appealing to me because since my childhood I've been used to watching ads on TV, and sometimes they include catchy music.

Original has awkward word order 'on the TV is very appealing to me' and tense issues. Use 'TV advertisements are very appealing' and 'since my childhood I've been used to' to express a habitual past to present. Replace 'they put the music on the' with 'they include catchy music' for clarity and correctness.